Life Is What You Make It...

Another month has gone by

2011-05-04T00:39:00.003-04:00

I'm so tired of the long-distance commuting. I thought that an hour each way was difficult... now I live 200 miles from my job and it just sucks. But, I keep doing it because right now I have no choice. I know, however, that this will eventually end. Eventually...

On a very, very positive note, my ex made the unexpected decision to allow Little Man to move to the beach and live with us! He asked for a more liberal visitation schedule than my attorney had originally offered him and I'm fine with that. I admit that I'm much more understanding about it now... I've been without my boys, for the most part, for over 2 months now and it's much, much harder than I had imagined it would be. It looks like we will not have to go back to court after all. I don't know what prompted this sudden change of direction for him, and neither do I really care. I think that we are all relieved. Especially after First Born told me how "pathetic" it is that his father and I were unable to just sit down together and work this out without resorting to a legal suit. Perhaps he also bitched his father out? I don't suppose I'll ever know, but I'm grateful just the same.

Middle Child told me, yesterday, that he should be a shoe-in for a position of leadership in JROTC next year. He has really matured over the last few months, and I'm so proud of him. It's unbelievable to think that, just 15 short months from now, he'll be a cadet at either Annapolis or VMI! Of course, First Born graduates from college in December!! Can they really be that old?? Can I really be that old?!?

I feel so.... violated....

2011-04-10T16:07:00.002-04:00

I'm working this weekend, day shift, and stayed with my parents Saturday night. They live in a very nice and, I have always thought, safe neighborhood. Last night, when I got home, my mother opened the garage door to let me in; I reached back into my car to grab my fleece in case it was cold in the morning, and went inside. I am not in the habit of locking my car doors.

I have to be at work at 8am, which means that I need to leave at about 7am. I walked out to the car this morning, still tired from the last week and whatever respiratory "thing" I'm suffering through, and as I put my suitcase into the trunk, noticed that my car door was not completely shut. I chastised myself internally for that, thinking more that I could have drained the battery than anything else. I opened the car door and immediately noticed that a pile of papers seemed to be "ruffled" - it appeared on first glance that they were originally sitting on the passenger's seat and had been strewn across the center piece onto the driver's seat. I immediately flashed back to last night when I had grabbed my fleece and thought that I had been in a bit of a hurry to have scattered the pages so carelessly. As I dropped into the driver's seat and gathered up the pages, my next thought was that I hadn't left a pile of papers on the passenger's seat. I turned them over to see what they were - the pages out of the blood draw kit sent to me by Logistics Health. I picked up the FedEx envelope - empty... the shipping box and (empty) blood collection tubes - gone. It was only then that I noticed that my glove box was open, and that the contents of the glove box were divided between the passenger seat and the floor.

I've never been robbed before, never had the dirty hands of an unknown person rifle through my belongings. Thank goodness this is my "long-distance" car - I keep precious little in it. The only things missing were the blood collection kit and my Day Planner. I don't have much of interest (to anyone else) in the Day Planner. I'm just pissed off that someone would steal it. My name and address ARE in there, but I don't figure that someone resorting to digging through parked cars in the dead of night is going to drive over 3 hours to find my house. I'm sure they will flip through my Day Planner looking for a SSN or a credit card number - which they will not find - and then throw the damned thing away. Damn I hate thieves...

I hate being sick...

2011-04-05T17:48:00.003-04:00

For the first time in a long time, I am actually sick; not just exaggerating symptoms to get out of something that I don't particularly want to do (I never do that! LOL), but actually feeling-like-crap, probably-need-to-seek-professional-medical-attention, S-I-C-K. And it sucks. Of course, being in the medical field, I'm prone to self-medicating, though I haven't really resorted to that this time around, except for the basic OTC cold remedies which do help to ease the symptoms.

I didn't take the APFT this weekend because there's no way I could have passed it feeling like I did - and if I'm going to be flagged, I'd prefer to be flagged for not taking it than for failing it. I had a torture session scheduled at the gym with E on Monday and cancelled that also. Today, most of the pain is gone - the headache, joint and muscle aches - and what's left is primarily respiratory. I'm coughing a lot and my voice is variable (E said I sound like an intercom, whatever that means...). The plan is to be back in the gym by Friday at the latest; this crud had better pass!

My mother is convinced that I'm "always sick" because I don't get enough sleep lately between the drive, the commute, Baby Girl and the move. I'm not "always sick", not even often pretending to feel ill; I AM tired a lot, but that just comes with the territory right now, I think. I'll sleep when I'm dead, right??

What a boring life I lead

2011-04-01T21:41:00.002-04:00

We're moved, finally, though most of our belongings are still sitting in boxes in the garage -- I try to unpack as much as I can when I'm home, but I get little help (well, to be honest, I get no help). Baby Girl's room is pretty much done - most of her toys and things are unpacked already. The kitchen is also together - but that's about it. Work is now a 3 hour drive, so I'm gone a lot - don't go home between shifts - and that means I really have NO downtime. I think I'm really wearing out, but don't see any relief in my near future.

This morning I had an "episode" (for lack of a better term) that really freaked me out. I stayed at my parents house last night because I had to bring the boys back after Spring Break and today I had to leave for drill. Anyway, I woke up sometime after 7 and dozed on and off for a while; about 8, I decided to get up and found that I couldn't walk straight. I felt like I was totally drunk, like someone was pulling my head to the side and I literally bounced off the walls from the bed to the toilet and back. I was also intensely nauseous and flopped back into bed where I had what sure felt like "bed spins" from the old days. I got up again at about 10, and felt better but not completely normal. I STILL don't feel "normal" - I'm a little dizzy and feel dull or obtunded, and my neck is hurting. I've been so sore since starting back at the gym - especially with my new trainer, who is a sadist - it's impossible to tell if this is just fall out from a workout or something different. I guess if I experience another episode tomorrow morning, then I'll go to the ER instead of drill. Hopefully the symptoms will just go away and tomorrow I'll feel like my old self.

Wow....

2010-10-19T21:20:00.002-04:00

Nothing since June... what a slacker I've been!! LOL

I've gotten 3 courses behind me towards my MBA, and now I'm taking an extended break -- until after the holidays. My work schedule is insane these days because one of the other doctors has another full time job and our schedules are subject to her availability. Fair?? Hell, no! Especially since she just joined us in July when Dr. S. left. But, it is what it is... and my "options" are somewhat limited.

Baby Girl has officially entered the dimension of the "Terrible Twos" and there are days that I think we'd like to return her from whence she came! She knows just when to coo "Sowwy, Mommy" or "Lub You", so she's still here!

The daycare shut down permanently this past Friday, which is completely inconvenient. Daycares are few and far between down here in the land of the old folks, so right now I'm paying T (her "teacher" from the daycare who is now unemployed, as of Friday) to keep her. We'll see how that goes...

Nothing much else that I can report. Guess that's why I haven't posted anything in four months, huh??

We're rounding the final curve

2010-06-24T22:56:00.003-04:00

This morning was our second (and final) exam for this course; we weren't given our actually grades, just a "go" or "no go". All that matters is that I've passed (not that I expected otherwise; as B reminded me, exams in the militar are aimed at a 8th to 10th grade level...). At any rate, it's nice to have that behind me.

A half day of lecture tomorrow - as if any of us will be paying attention - then practice for graduation and outprocessing details - and we'll be D-O-N-E, done. I fly home Saturday night after graduation and I'm ready to go home! I heard Baby Girl's voice the other night on the telephone and it really stung - I miss her SO much!!

I'm exhausted - I don't sleep well away from home and the mental stimulation here is intense. Very interesting, but intense. I may have mentioned before, but I'm fascinated by the way that the course content (the non Army-specific stuff) has run right alongside my management course. We've addressed many of the same topics these last two weeks. Guess it just validates the usefulness of what I'm learning and, as I told B the other night, a leader is a leader, regardless of who or what s/he is leading. Right?

Wow, wow, wow

2010-06-18T17:49:00.002-04:00

I've been a slacker!! Two months and not a single post!! Well, my defense is that I've been busy as hell, and that's the truth.

What has changed?? Truthfully, not much... I'm finding that working the night shift, while it still has definite advantages, is beginning to wear on me. I don't do as well with the little naps for extended periods. This is something that I think I'll have to give serious consideration in the not-too-distant future.

Right now, I'm in San Antonio for my AT; this year I'm in Captain's Career - it's an officer leadership course. Very different stuff that anything I've had to do before - but I'm struggling through. As always, Baby Girl and B are both sick; not sure exactly why, but they get sick every time I go out of town - maybe it's stress related? This trip, the A/C also went out briefly, which was way not cool as the daytime highs have been upper 90's plus humidity. Thankfully it turned out to be just a capacitor, so B was able to get that repaired in short order.

My sister has done a "me" and is getting married rather precipitously. We're going to Myrtle Beach for that the middle of next month. I met my BIL-to-be for the first time a couple of weeks ago and I will say that, from what I can tell, he is EXACTLY her type!! He seems to be a really nice guy, and she seems happy, which is the important thing! Our mother is dealing with it, well, likely only she can! She vascillates between planning and lecturing, but that's just her way.

I think that's the Cliff's Notes to what's been going on -- I will make every attempt to update more frequently, but no promises.... LOL

Oh, I've been so sick....

2010-04-20T21:42:00.002-04:00

sicker than I can remember being in a long, long time!! I think it was a combination of things... I did a run of working night shifts - 13 out of 14 days!! - over the Easter holidays and we were busy, busy, busy. I think at some point I figured out that I averaged about 5 hours of sleep per night for those 2 weeks, which wouldn't have been so bad had it been 5 consecutive hours... but only once or twice during that entire time was I able to sleep for more than 2 hours uninterrupted.

I got off work on a Friday morning and that evening had to head to Columbia for drill; of course, that means early days and I had to take my APFT on Saturday because I was asked to be a grader for the unit APFT which was Sunday morning. Now, somehow, and I have no idea how this happened given my exhausted state, but I am crediting the 3 weeks of P90X with the results, I managed my BEST PT score ever!! Not stellar by any means, but for ME, it was great! I hadn't run in over 2 weeks, and I cut 2 full minutes off my run time!! Maybe it was the location, maybe it was the cool air, maybe it was the stupid Ke$ha song that I couldn't get out of my head ("wake up in the morning feeling like P'Diddy, I got my glasses, I'm out the door, I'm gonna hit this city..." - enough to make anyone run like hell, huh??) -- not too far off from my "max" scores, so now I have a new (and maybe even attainable) goal - I'd like to score 300 on the test in October!

At any rate, by Sunday afternoon, I was starting to cough and the congestion was settling in; by Tuesday, it hit full force and I hardly got out of bed all day. Wednesday was as bad too, but I had to do surgery at CCAH so I had to suck it up. Thursday I had a little reprieve - the cough seemed to be more superficial - which was nice since B had his septoplasty and lower turbinate remodeling surgery; Friday, however, the cough had moved back into my chest. I had to work on Saturday - my parents came down to watch Baby Girl because B wasn't up to it (he's hardly gotten out of bed since the surgery -- I'm sure it hurt, but he's really being a baby... I mean, this is DAY 5 and he's still just lying in the bed and watching TV all day!! Ok, ok... that's enough...) - anyway, I nearly drove myself NUTS with the continuous coughing!! At the end of my shift, I was trying to finish up what I had started but the case was WAY more complicated than originally anticipated and finally, at 10pm, I just said "screw it" and left anyway -- I hated to do it, but I was sick as hell, was 14 hours into a 12 hours shift with an hour drive to get home and I just didn't care who I pissed off at that point.

Funny, but with the illness, what bothered me the most was missing a week of P90X!!! LOL How's THAT for strange?? For me, anyway... I did my Yoga X on Monday, and was going to attempt the Core Synergistics on Tuesday when B called me out for being "an idiot" and told me to get back into bed!! He was right of course! I did Core Synergistics tonight and there's NO way I could have done it last week!! LOL Of course, me being me, I was going to try to "make it all up", but was just so very sick that I finally gave in and decided to just postpone everything for one week. So, yesterday, I started back up with week 4. It feels good to be back on track again and I hope that I don't have any more interruptions! Now I have to get back to running!!

We're still struggling with Elvis - I did take him to work and did bloodwork/xrays, the whole 9 yards... couldn't find anything specific, really... possible medium sized tumor in his chest, but it was unclear... and nothing to be done about it anyway. I keep feeding him whatever he might eat - tonight he had meatballs and Italian sausage and some bread - drives Herbie crazy!! He's down to 41 lbs, which was a shocker to me!! I guess I thought that he'd still be over 50 :( Looks like 2010 will be his last year here... but I don't want to think about that right now.

My poor Elvis

2010-03-25T21:32:00.003-04:00

seems determined to starve himself to death, and there doesn't seem to be much that I can do about it...

He has gotten so terribly thin - I can count his ribs from across the room, even with his thick coat. He has difficulty getting up and down, especially when stairs are involved, but nothing too unusual given the advanced state of his hip dysplasia and subsequent DJD. He doesn't seem to FEEL bad... there's no vomiting or drooling involved - he just doesn't have an appetite.

I stopped even trying to feed him dog food weeks ago - he really hasn't voluntarily eaten dog food since my parents were here in February - and then, it was mixed half and half with a hamburger/rice mixture that mom cooked for him.

These days, we're down to hot dogs and lunch meat, sometimes he'll eat pasta or rice - occasionally he'll eat steak, though he'll even turn THAT down at times!! Don't you know that it drives Herbie NUTS!! LOL Part of the problem we have is that he will rarely eat the same things twice in a row - so we have to try to switch it up every day. He's the ultimate nightmare picky eater!! It's been a real challenge... but, despite his current condition, I just can't bring myself to put him to sleep when he's still fairly active, and very interactive. So, we just take it day by day.

How time flies...

2010-03-22T20:09:00.003-04:00

It's been 3 weeks since I last posted... time has really flown by!! The Saab is very nice - WELL worth the money I paid! And it drives quite nicely, too. I've been taking it to work, or anywhere that I'm going to have to drive much distance. Though, I DID take the Audi to drill as it's a MUCH more comfortable and luxurious vehicle for the longer drives! LOL

I had all of the little chips and scratches touched up on the Audi - only cost $100 because the car really was in amazing shape when we got it. We're going to have the Saab done as well... it's a 2001 model and there are many more "stone chips", so the front and rear bumpers practically have to be repainted - it's going to run about $250, but even putting that into the car, it was a true bargain! I had a Sirius radio installed in the Saab because not having it was making me crazy... I've had satellite radio for so many years, I don't know how people manage without it! Oh, yeah - almost forgot - I managed to crack the windshield last week on the way to F'ville... I have had the most horrendous luck with car glass this year!! A sport bike coming TOWARDS me threw up a rock and hit the edge of the windscreen, putting a deep chip in it - I worked a night shift, followed by a day shift, and when I came out of work Wednesday afternoon, there was an 8" crack across the driver's side of the windshield! Damn it!!

I picked up the new puppy when I got back from drill - Patrick is in love with her. I realized a couple of weeks ago that it's been over 11 years since I've had to deal with a puppy - Elvis was the last puppy I had!! - and this housebreaking stuff SUCKS rocks!! Patrick takes care of her when he's here, but I have to deal with her during school hours and when he's at his dad's. I can't wait 'til she gets a little older and isn't so time consumptive! She's absolutely adorable, though, and a great snuggler!

I got both the boys' rooms cleaned out - took bags of Good Will donations and garbage out of each of them - they still look like they were hit by whirlwinds somehow, but it's better. I need to go through the rest of the house, desperately, and throw out the excess stuff. God knows we have oodles of crap we don't use!! I tend to do my best cleaning when I move, though, and I'm hoping that we can do that this summer - there are a bunch of things that will have to come together to make that happen - it's definitely doable, but not a guarantee, so keep your fingers crossed. I'm doing what I can to make it come to pass!

I started P90X today - and I hurt like hell already!! Chris just finished his first 90 days and he looks amazing!! He dropped nearly 50 lbs and is virtually fat-free at this point - even his face is very chiseled looking. He told me that he had to stop running because he was losing too much weight and couldn't eat enough to keep the weight on! Wish I had that problem! I don't expect, of course, to have the same results that he did since he's 22 years younger than me, and male to boot - but I imagine that I should be able to firm up and drop the 12-15 lbs that I still seem to be hanging on to since the fertility drugs. I've drastically modified my eating also, cutting way back on carbs (NO breads, pastas, etc.), no more deserts/sweets, high protein, lots and lots of veggies and water, water, water. I did well on this before, but decided to allow myself a "cheat day" which turned into a "cheat week" - so this has to be an "all or nothing" -- I don't have enough self-discipline to do it any other way.

I have another APFT in 3 weeks - I'm just praying that I'm "ready" - I helped administer the last one, 2 mos ago, and 3 of the 4 soldiers I was grading failed it... I do NOT intend to fail, though I'm not overly worried that I will. I'm still running, and now that I've added the P90X, that should help me get ready - I think I did 60 or 70 push ups today alone!! MSG G asked me to be a grader for the unit-wide test in April, so I have to take my test on Saturday, as the rest of the unit will be taking it on Sunday. I actually prefer it as there will be fewer people taking the test. As long as I don't come in dead last (and don't fail), I'll be fine!

B is finally having his deviated septum repaired; Baby Girl has brought home so many bugs and he can't kick the sinus infections because the deviation prevents his sinus from draining - so he's finally agreed to have the surgery. Hopefully it will also decrease or stop his snoring! We'll see...

I've decided to go with laser hair removal as I'm just sick and tired of shaving... I've talked to several people who have had it done and are very pleased with the results - and I've actually got a consult tomorrow, in F'ville, at the place where one of my friends currently get her laser zaps - they're going to have me fill out some paperwork and do a couple of test spots - if all goes well, then I can have my first treatment next week. It's actually much more affordable than I imagined; it's $1000 for 6 treatments (spaced 5-6 weeks apart) and that price includes any additional touch-up sessions later if necessary. I had checked with Sona Med Spa for their prices also, and they wanted just over $2000 for 6 sessions and then additional sessions were available at half price or something like that. Of course, at that price they could well afford to offer a discount, and they are currently having a BOGO package special or offering 40% off a single package - still seems like the F'ville place is a better deal - AND it's an OB/GYN's office that has an aesthetician, AND I have a personal referral for this location... WIN - WIN - WIN!!

Anyway, that shoudl about catch me up to the current goings-on; as always, I will TRY to stay more current... but no promises!!

I bought another car

2010-03-01T23:34:00.002-05:00

I realized suddenly that I drive nearly 100 miles each day that I work... it's no wonder that I can rack up so many miles on a car!! It became important to me, then, to find a "beater" that I can use to offset the usage of my much beloved Audi. And so I bought a Saab. I don't remember the model year, but it's got about 60K miles on it - and luckily, Saab's are another make of car that can go for 150K miles. Of course, it's beyond my abilities, it seems, to find a car locally... this one's in Philly.

B is going to fly up on Wednesday to pick it up for me. We're paying cash, and not trading in anything, so it will be infinitely less stressful than the Audi's purchase. It stands to reason that I have to work all week, so Doo will be going to spend the night at her Mimi's house Wednesday and I'll pick her up when I get off work Thursday morning.

Middle Child's only "requirement" for a vehicle is that it NOT be a Prius. Why, you ask?? Because apparently some comedian made a comment that a Prius conveys the message "I'm gay"... LOL Teenagers...

I told B about the puppy today - I had gone to PetsMart and bought a little bed, some bowls, puppy food, a harness and leash and some little puppy toys - naturally he wondered what they were for... he took it rather well I would say... simply made a "hmmm" noise and raised his eyebrows. But that was it. Then again, I DID ask him 6 weeks ago if I could have a mini dachshund and he said "yes"... Perhaps he hoped I was joking?? I'm going Wednesday to vaccinate and deworm them all, then I'll pick Moka up on Monday after I get back from drill. Little Man is SO excited!

Home at last, home at last!!

2010-02-19T22:44:00.002-05:00

We were up and out early this morning, headed to the airport shortly after 8am. We were leaving from different sides of the airport, so we parted ways fairly early :(

The flights were uneventful, though they were long and uncomfortable. I was fortunate enough to get a bulkhead seat on the flight out of Vegas and that was wonderful... I really do enjoy the additional leg room. My flight out of Atlanta was on a tiny, weeny regional jet and, while the gentleman next to me was small enough to do so, he just refused to stay in his own seat... it was arms and elbows and feet and knees... God, I HATE it when people take up some of MY space... I paid just as much (or more) for this damned ticket as they did; what gives them the right to take up MY space?? (Strangely enough, we're sitting here watching Bill Maher right now, and he's got Wanda Sykes on there - and they were just discussing "fat people on planes" - same theory... taking up MY space)

At any rate, I landed in Raleigh about 30 minutes after B and we met up at the ticketing desk; we proceeded down to baggage claim to retrieve our luggage (I took all the bags with me this time, because being on military orders makes them ALL free) -- and -- can you guess?? NO BAGS!!

So, again I have to find the Delta baggage office and report my bags as missing... Seems that they were left behind in Atlanta and would be arriving on the 10pm flight. Uh, huh... B says it's 'cause I argued with the desk clerk at the Delta counter last Saturday and she has flagged my name in the system! LOL Supposedly the luggage will be delivered tomorrow morning... let me say it again -- DELTA SUCKS!!

It's nice, nice, nice to be home and I can't wait to see Baby Girl tomorrow!! It was great to see the boys tonight! I've missed them, too! The baby chins are adorable - there's one male and one female; Middle Child wants to keep the one that's almost (but not quite) white - thankfully she's the female! The little guy is the same beige that Misty and Slippers are - hopefully we'll be able to sell him in a couple of months. We do NOT need any more chins!!

Little Man's puppy will be ready the first week of March and he's anxious to get her. I'm not too excited to have to housebreak a dog again, but, I guess you do what you have to do. Elvis is continuing to lose weight, despite our best efforts... he's still moving around well and seems happy enough, so we keep on keepin' on. Herbie is doing very well on his reconstructed knee and is pretty much bearing full weight, which is GREAT! Doesn't seem like his diet has done much good, but we'll keep trying. I'd hate for him to blow out the other knee!!

Well, time to get some rest; it's nearly 11pm here, so my brain thinks it's almost 8pm, but Baby Girl will be up early, early, so I need to sleep while I can!!

Our final night in Vegas

2010-02-19T00:25:00.002-05:00

Let me start by saying that the Criss Angel show was NOT worth the money we paid for the tickets. It's in a fairly small theatre, and we bought level 2 seating (there are a total of 5 levels); everybody seems to get a 35% discount -- military, anyone staying at the Luxor, anyone who texts a certain number to get a code... pretty much everyone! So, we ended up spending ONLY $150 for the pair of tickets... The show is billed as Criss Angel - Cirque du Soleil - which was a bit misleading. There are characters in the show that dance around, but I'd hardly say that it's on par with Cirque!! He also wasted a fair amount of time with the dramatic crap, and did very few illusions - so it was a bit disappointing. B and I decided that we'll just stick to watching him on TV if we're interested... we prefer the "street magic" and he really did none of that in the show.

On the flip side, last night we went to see Phantom. It's my all time very favorite show - I love, love, love Andrew Lloyd Weber, but Phantom is my favorite of all of his productions... I've seen it probably a dozen times in the last 15 years, on Broadway and several different travelling companies. With the single exception of the Broadway production, this one at the Venetian was the best I've ever seen. Again, it's in a fairly small theatre (considering that some of the venues I've gone to to see Phantom are huge arenas...) so there aren't really any bad seats. I didn't want to miss the chandelier effect (if you've seen Phantom, then you know what I'm talking about), so I bought tickets in row P (got a discount code online so I paid $250 for the pair), which was about 13 rows back from the stage - we actually ended up being directly underneath the chandelier, and it was quite dramatic when it fell!! Next time, because YES, I will go see it again, I'm thinking row E... I want a clearer view of the actors faces. In my opinion, it was money WELL spent!!

We had stopped in a little bar in the Venetian for a drink before the show, and since the prices were more reasonable that we'd experienced elsewhere, we went back after the production for more. The lounge show was a pretty good band who did a 70's rock show, which was bangin' so we sat there for hours, singing along and drinking!! Drinking a bit too much, I would say!! I had a Creamsicle Martini before Phantom, and 3 Margaritas after, and you could say that I was a bit drunk by the time we finally left the bar.... We walked down the strip to the Denny's for breakfast... haven't had a drunken breakfast in a long, long time! We walked a little farther and I managed to find the spray paint guys and bought a black and white picture that I'm going to frame and give to First Born.

We hopped in a cab to get back to the Luxor and crashed hard... I woke up this morning at 3am with a terrific headache. I drank a bottle of water, since I had no pain relievers (won't make THAT mistake again) and went back to bed. My headache eased a little bit, enough to let me sleep until about 7am. I felt better after a shower, and even better when my sweet husband brought me some Tylenol after his usual morning coffee run!!

So, when I was feeling a bit more human, we walked (again) to the Mirage for the buffet; we took a cab back because we were worn out!! All this walking is killing both of us! LOL I went to lectures all afternoon and then we checked out the Shark Tank, which was pretty nifty... they had a large, low corner aquarium in there that B seems to think we could duplicate for a few thousand dollars - in a Carolina room in our new house or something of the sort - that would be awesome :) Personally I thought that we should build something more like the 1.6+ million gallon aquarium with the shipwreck that you walk through, and use it as our living room/den, but he seems to think that would be out of our budget - LOL!!

This evening, we spent some time in the casino - B gave me $2 in a penny slot machine and I turned it into $14 (a happy, happy time) which I then lost in another machine. All told, I went through about $30 and B spent about $30 also - I think we lost less than $100 total this whole week, so it was mostly a success. The next time we come to Vegas, I'm going to bring a set amount of disposable cash that is to be "blown" in the casinos just for fun... I really had fun tonight playing the penny slots because you can play quite a while when you're only betting $.30/spin!! It would have been fun to toss in $60 or so, but I just wasn't mentally prepared to do that this time around! I'm too cheap, I guess!! LOL

I talked to Middle Child a couple of times today - he transferred Binki to my friend for cremation, and was content with that - he chose a little white urn and is going to get a lock of fur to keep as well. I need to get him some type of engraved locket to attach to the urn that can hold the fur for him. I know he will need to learn to let go, but I also think he should develop that on his own terms. On a good note, he did some internet reserach (usually that makes me cringe, but I pray that he has enough sense to at least ASK me if he finds questionable advice) and read that he should put contact lens solution on the baby chin's eyes -- and lo and behold, the eyes are now open!! I guess they were stuck with some schmoo from the birthing process, and the solution dissolved it -- that makes sense. Whatever the case, I am thankful that the little critter seems to be okay. His/her brother/sister is doing well also, according to all reports.

It's been a good trip, but a little too long for my tastes. I don't like being away from Baby Girl this long, and anything more than 3 or 4 days is too much for any vacation in my opinion. I guess my lack of tolerance has come with my age, but as much as I enjoy travelling, I just prefer to be at home!!

For a while now, my tentative plan is to take First Born to Vegas for his 21st birthday next year - he loves the numbers and statistics involved in gambling, and I think it would be fun to stay 2 or 3 nights in one of the swankier hotels up the strip and give him a lump sum of cash to wager. If he wants to bring his girlfriend along, we'll have to delay through the summer until she turns 21, but that's alright, too. I'll leave that decision up to him.

As much as B dislikes the Vegas experience, he told me today that he can see coming back for a veterinary conerence, especially if we can get the Army to pay for it again. It's a great conference, really... lots and lots of interesting lectures. I attended a bunch of practice management sessions this time around, and really got some fascinating information that I think will be of use to me in the not-so-distant future... but more about that later.

So much to do and so little time!!

2010-02-16T22:22:00.002-05:00

Last night's "plan" was to go to the House of Blues for cheap beer and half priced appetizers... instead we decided to take a walk down the strip before we got too inebriated or tired to do it. We walked all the way from the Luxor to the Wynn -- for those who may be unfamiliar with the Vegas strip, let me assure you that it is a LONG WAY!! We stopped at the Bellagio to see the fountain show and at the Mirage for the Volcano show; and we walked through the Wynn, just to see how "the other half lives". LOL

We ended up stopping at Casino Royale for $1 margaritas and Michelob beer and ate $1.99 footlong hot dogs in the back of the casino. After the pricey lunch we had, we had to cut corners somewhere!!

There are so many little things along the strip that are absolutely facinating... we came across a booth with a guy creating incredible pictures using common Walmart spray paint. I can't begin to imagine what this guy saw in his head, but what he creates is amazing... I told B that we HAVE to go back because I fully intend to buy at least one of his pictures.

We were pretty much dragging by the time we got back; all told, we were out for nearly 5 hours, most of it we spent walking - we sat at the casino for probably 20 minutes, but that's about it. It was good exercise, if nothing else.

Today, I slept in again, then we went to the Mirage for the lunch buffet - cheaper (about $20pp) and much better food... I went to lectures this afternoon and met B "after hours" at the House of Blues - tonight we did the cheap beer and half priced appetizers for dinner!! We have tickets for the 9:30 Cris Angel/Cirque du Soleil show tonight which hopefully will be worth the $150 he spent for the tickets... I also bought tickets for tomorrow's Phantom of the Opera at the Venetian and I'm REALLY looking forward to that, as Phantom is my favorite show of ALL time!!

On a sad note, Little Man called me, crying, this morning... he went into Middle Child's room to check on the chinchillas and found Binki dead :( Middle Child is understandably upset... he liked Twinkle okay, but just loved Binki. I told him that he can keep one or both of the new twins - he wants the albino, but says that its eyes don't seem to be open yet, which is likely a problem as they are fairly precocious critters, but today I told him that a blind chin will still be fine, and he agrees... he wants to have Binki cremated, so I gave him a number to call for that... when it rains, it pours, huh???

I did finally make it to Vegas

2010-02-15T17:40:00.000-05:00

Yesterday was a terribly long day... I developed a migraine-caliber headache around midnight on Saturday, so I slept very poorly - I got up early yesterday morning and went ahead to the airport, out of boredom more than anything else. It turned out to be in my favor because my original flight was late and I would have missed my connection out of Atlanta. So, I was put onto an earlier flight out of Greensboro and spent a little extra tine in Atlanta, but at the end of the day, I deplaned in Vegas and that's the important thing. Of course, things just don't seem to be going my way in general these days, so I wasn't totally surprised to find that my luggage didn't make it onto my flight... It did finally arrive at about 4 am :( Delta sucks!!

The Luxor (where our room is) and the Mandalay Bay (where the conference is) are connected by a shopping mall of sorts, so I can actually go from one to the other without going outside. Of course, each hotel has a huge casino, and the complex is like a small city... you never actually have to leave!! There are shops and shows and a dozen or more restaurants right here!! It's amazing...

We ate at the China Grill last night (inside MB) - I had a mango martini which was yummy (I'd never had a designer martini before, just a "real" vodka one that was gross... might as well have just taken a slug from the Grey Goose bottle!!)!! We got the "tasting menu" for dinner, which was $59pp but it was more food than we could eat and included things like lobster pancakes, Shanghai sirloin, wasabi mashed potatoes, crispy spinach and "bananas in a box" for desert - it was a full 6 course meal... We splurged a bit, but justified it in the name of V-day!

Today I slept in then we went to the MB buffet for brunch - the food was pretty good but not spectacular for $24pp. Tonite we're going cheap -- happy hour at The House of Blues, for $2 beers and 1/2 priced appetizers!! Gotta save where we can!

We're going to try to go to the Cris Angel/Cirque du Soleil show here, and I'd like to see Phantom at the Versailles; B wants to try the buffet at the Mirage also -- that's my baby... always thinking about food!! LOL

Total change of subject, but Patrick called today to tell me that Twinkle had twins and apparently that are both alive... *sigh*. What am I going to do with those chinchillas?!?

Today has totally sucked!!

2010-02-13T18:10:00.000-05:00

Today was the start of our mini vacation... my first trip to Vegas!! And - technically - the Western Veterinary Conference, but that's secondary or tertiary at this point-LOL

We has some snow last night but nothing major... work was hell and I got less than 2 hours of down time so I was already exhausted, but I figured I could sleep on the plane. I rushed home, finished packing and got a shower - and we were off!!

We got to the airport with plenty of time to spare; since I'm flying on orders and can take luggage for free, I was planning on checking all the bags and leaving B just his computer to carry onboard. Since we weren't flying the same airline - I was on Delta, B on Continental - and we weren't even leaving from the same terminal, B dropped me off with the bags and went to park the car. Since we were early, he planned to come meet up with me after parking the car.

The first thing I discovered when I attempted to check the bags is that both of my flights were cancelled, and I was directed to get into an extremely long line to try to get redirected. I called B and told him to check on HIS flight before he came back to meet me.

He showed up about 15 minutes later with the news that he seemed to be okay... I called Carlson to see if they could get me a different flight, B called Continental to see if he could get me onto his flight. Continental told B that his flights were totally booked -- so you can imagine how pissed he was when his flight backed away from the gate with half the seats unoccupied!! But that's another story... Carlson couldn't get me out before 6pm tomorrow so I stayed in the line for the Delta counter, hoping for a better deal... silly me.

Eventually, B had to leave me - because the flights seemed to be cancelled arbitrarily, I was concerned about whether or not he would be able to switch to a flight later in the day, or even tomorrow, so I sent him on his original flight. Nearly 2 hours later I was finally at the desk and the ticket agent informs me that I have been rebooked on a flight to Vegas on --- wait for it --- TUESDAY!! WTF?!? I not-so-calmly explain to her that I am on orders and as of 0800 tomorrow, legally speaking, I will be AWOL. Tuesday was totally unacceptable.

She hemmed and hawed but I refused to give in and she grudgingly put me on a flight leaving at 11:30am tomorrow -- OUT OF GREENSBORO!! Now here's another problem!! Greensboro is an hour and a half away... I can drive my car there, but my return flight is to RDU... so, what then?? I asked her how I am supposed to make this work when I have no car to transfer over... and she told me it was my problem. As was the dilemma of what to do with myself tonite. "It's the weather, ma'am; we have to make arrangements to take care of ourselves". I really HATE it when someone uses the familiar like that, AS IF they are in the same situation and can empathize!! She was very rude and really pissed me off (in case you hadn't picked up on that already). The only good thing she did was to refer me to the USO Club... of course, it was in the other terminal and I had to walk over there with all the luggage, but the volunteers were really great... I was so furious by the time I got over there that I was crying, and they gave me a drink and the ladies hugged me... They kept my luggage while I went down to the Southwest counter to see if they could help me.

The agent at Sourhwest was fantastic and tried her hardest... she did find me a flight this afternoon to Baltimore, but it would still involve an overnight on my dime plus a very real possibility that I would NOT be able to recoup the $700 for the ticket. In the end, I decided to rent a car, drive to G'boro, get a room and get some sleep!! I've had approximately 5 hours of sleep since 6:30am on Thurs (something like 56 hours ago) and I'm just whipped!!

Back up to the USO Club I went, where one of the volunteers called around until she found me a rental car... I guess with so many flights cancelled, everyone is renting cars... She had to call around to find me one!! I got the shuttle over to Avis and picked up a real POS Hyundai, sub-compact and absolutely bottom of the line, but still somehow cost me $80!!! Don't you just love it?

I finally made it to Greensboro, though I felt I was really fading there at the end, and am checked into the airport Marriott... the hotel and the room are really nice, even if they DO charge $.49/min for Internet... guess it's TV tonight for me!! LOL. The room cost about the same as the freakin' car! Room service has been ordered, including a Foster's, and I'm chillin'. I don't think I'll last much longer tonight.

I need to keep reminding myself that tomorrow HAS to be better!! It just HAS to be!!

It's been a long time

2010-02-09T09:40:00.002-05:00

since I've posted anything; not that nothing has been happening - more that I just have lacked the energy to make the effort to write anything down :(

We lost Fifi on February 2nd; it's no secret that she and I only tolerated each other; the younger boys were even getting tired of having to deal with her constant messes - and I had noticed, the last time First Born was down here, he excluded her for the most part, very unusual for him as he and Fifi had this strange mutual adoration going on - every bit as intense as the dislike she and I shared, but a totally opposite emotion.

The boys were at their dad's; B was out somewhere; I was fighting over the phone with the idiot salesman at the Audi dealership in NY -- I finally hung up on his (for the second time) and decided to let the dogs out as Elvis was pacing around the kitchen and the clack-clack-clack of his claws on the flooring was driving me bonkers. I called Fifi, she didn't come - not surprising as we've felt for some time that her hearing was significantly impaired. I called again, and again nothing. She was curled up in her usual spot - between the sofa and coffee table in the living room - I prodded her gently with my toe (yes, it WAS gentle because, despite the fact that I didn't adore her, she would bite if the prod was anything BUT gentle!)... suffice it to say that she was something less than pliable at that point. I have no idea exactly when it happened; she was lying there when I got home that morning, but I let her be because she had already peed and pooped on the floor in my absence, so I saw no reason to make her go outside. I did some things around the house, including cleaning up her mess, took a shower and then got on the phone with the guy in NY... the rest, I've already talked about.

I packed her up into a box until I could talk to First Born and see what his desire was for her remains. He elected to have her cremated so I called a guy that used to work with me at AUC - he owns a crematorium. He met me the next morning to gather her body; the cremains will be returned to Chris in about 2 weeks. Chris also asked for her leather "Biker Bitch" vest and her doggles. I found her Harley hat and a good picture of her in the leather attire, perched on the seat of J's Harley - I have those gathered up for him. He was very upset, obviously - and his FB status the next day said something to the effect that he was at work, desperately trying not to think about his dog.

For my part, I feel like shit about it. As I've already said, it's no secret that we didn't like eachother, but now that's she's gone, I don't feel the relief that I expected - I feel guilty - for not pampering her, for harsh discipline, for whatever... even though she didn't like me, I feel bad for not trying harder...

And, Elvis, who I have had since he was about 8 weeks old, and who is now about 12-1/2, is slowly wasting away in front of my eyes, and there is nothing that I can do about it. He has totally lost his appetite and I struggle daily to get any food into him. He's eating 2-3 times per week at this point and getting thinner daily. I'm very worried about him starving to death, but I will say that his attitude is good he's still relatively active; about "normal" for him with his hip dysplasia. He is just a bag of bones wearing a fur coat at this point and I'm very frustrated and confused... B and I are leaving on Saturday and will be gone for a week - my parents are coming down to watch Baby Girl; with my mother just having lost her mother last month, she's not in any state emotionally speaking, to have to deal with Elvis' condition. It would tear her to pieces to have to make the decision to euthanize him in my absence. So, I am considering, if I cannot find something, anything, that he will eat at least once a day, euthanizing him before I leave this weekend. I don't want to... truly I don't; just the idea brings tears to my eyes; but at the same time, I really don't want to allow him to or watch him starve to death, which is where we're currently headed.

We've tried just about everything... we've totally abandoned his dry dog food; the canned food interested him for a week or so, but he won't eat it any more. I've bought the natural stuff as well as several varieties of stuff that looks like it would be appropriate for human consumption. He will eat, small amounts, at least once, but then turns away from it the next time it's offered. We've tried cooking for him, with the same results. I guess it's just getting to be his "time" but it sure is hard to make that call!!

For now, I'm going to take a nap; I've got some type of bug - started right after I got the damned H1N1 vaccine - not sure if there's any correlation, but I was not the only one in my unit to have this trouble. I've come across several people who seemed to get the flu after getting the flu vaccine!! This is why I didn't want the stupid vaccine in the first place!! Oh, well...

It was twenty years ago today...

2010-01-07T22:15:00.003-05:00

that I became a mother for the first time. I was fairly young, though I certainly felt that I was "all grown up". I was 12 days past my Christmas Day due date, retaining an unbelievable amount of water, and just plain miserable. For three days, at the direction of my doctor, I had been calling in to the hospital to see if they could induce me; the first two days, I was told they were too busy... on January 6th, I was finally told to come in. I showered and dressed in one of the few things that I could still fit into - a sorority sweatsuit from my time at Florida State - and my sneakers which I could no longer even tie over my chubby edematous feet.

My body was showing no signs of going into labor spontaneously, so I was hooked up to a pitocin drip around noon. All day and into the evening this continued... yet my body wasn't responding well - I was dilating very slowly. Finally, at 10pm, the decision was made to stop the drip, move me onto the OB floor for the evening and restart the next day.

Of course, things don't always go as planned, especially where I'm concerned. Though they stopped the drip and gave me sleeping pills, my labor continued and progressed; I was up all night in agony - First Born was facing front and I had terrible back labor. At 5am, I convinced the nurse that I NEEDED an epidural so they called for the anesthesiologist. The contractions were so intense and so close together that it was difficult for me to remain motionless during the procedure - and I worried that I would be paralyzed because I failed to hold still (this was before I went to vet school, and I had very little medical knowledge).

The epidural was heavenly, for a little while - I watched the monitor recording the strength of the contractions that I could no longer feel... but shortly, the tubing slipped out and the anesthetic wore off - and again I could feel everything. The nurse called the anesthetist back in and he placed a second epidural, but it didn't seem to function properly. I could still feel the contractions but I couldn't move my legs at all (?!?); very strange for me.

Finally, finally, I was "complete" and they wheeled me down the hall to the delivery room (this was before the days of birthing centers - with First Born, I started out in a labor room, was moved to a delivery room for the birth, and then taken upstairs to the OB hall for recovery). They only allowed two people to go into the delivery room with me - my husband and my sister - and they both had to change into sterile clothing. I was so very tired at this point - I had been in labor for nearly 24 hours - AND I'd been given sleeping pills; most of the time in delivery is a blur, but I do remember that I was covered in sterile drapes and the doctor kept telling me to keep my hands under the drapes, which was driving me nuts for some reason.

At 12:33pm, after pushing a half dozen times, I delivered First Born -- 13 days late. He weighed in at 8 lbs, 9 oz... a big boy!! He was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen.

I grew up a lot in the next year - I had to. I was married, but I was still a single mother - my husband at the time was of the opinion that the house and children were a woman's burden, despite the fact that I also worked a full time job. Might be part of the reason that that marriage didn't last...

Fast forward 7 years, and lo and behold, I'm back in the hospital giving birth AGAIN!! I was 12 days past my Christmas Day due date with son #3 at my OB visit on Monday; my doctor told me that induction was inevitable and asked me to pick a date. It was the 6th; First Born had asked me NOT to have the baby on HIS birthday (LOL), so we chose the 8th for the induction. I was to report to the hospital on Wednesday at 6am.

Of course, things don't always work out the way we want them to... and I went into labor on my own that night about 10:30pm. By 3am, we were headed for the hospital as the contractions were less than 7 minutes apart. At 6:30am, the doctor delivered Little Man (strangely enough, it was also HER birthday!!) - he weighed a whopping 9 lbs, 10 oz!!

First Born has grown into such a wonderful man - truthfully, it's hard for me to think of him as a man... though he's nearly as old today as I was when he was born, he'll always be MY baby. He is strong and flexing his wings as he becomes more and more independent, yet when he comes home, he's my little boy again. I see less and less of him, which I suppose is the natural order of things - he prefers the company of his girlfriend to that of his mother, and I try to remember when I felt that way myself. It's nothing personal; he's just growing up.

Little Man still has some growing and maturing to do, but his heart is as big as the sky; he is such a loving and thoughtful soul, and so sensitive that I worry for the hurt he endures at the hands of his brothers and other thoughtless people. I know that I can't protect him from that, but I still try as he's my baby.

Today my boys turned 20 and 13; they are brilliant, loving, caring, sensitive, thoughtful children and every day I feel blessed because truly they have taught me as much as I have taught them over the years. I believe that I am a much better person because of my children, as I strive each day to be "good enough" to be their mother. I'm far from perfect and I have failed them in little ways at times, but I guess that's part of being human.

My grandmother passed away last night

2010-01-04T22:12:00.002-05:00

and I am terribly sad, not that that is so unexpected... and not that her death was really unexpected either. But,she was always such a vital, vibrant woman - it's almost inconceivable to me that she is permanently and forever gone from this earth.

If I look at is objectively, I know that she (and by extension, we) were blessed as I honestly cannot remember a time in my 42 years that my grandmother was ill, except for the last 7 months of her life. Now, I'm sure that she had her share of colds or had the flu here and again, but she lived to the ripe old age of 91-1/2 years old and her only chronic affliction was mild arthritis. She was still very active, travelling yearly with my mother, taking care of her household, enjoying her life, even though she had slowed down a little bit these last few years.

It still doesn't feel "real" to me. I'm not used to seeing her all that often, and to be honest, I was a less-than-perfect granddaughter as I also failed to call her as often as I should have. I think that it will really hit me next December, as I have spent every single Christmas in the last 42 years with her.

The last 7 months have been difficult for my grandmother. The surgery was very hard on her and left her wanting to die. But, gradually, as she recovered and gained strength, she began to feel more positive and began to get back to her life. It seems that, just as sht had resumed a relatively "normal" activity level - though she still seemed very weak and frail to me, almost as if she had aged greatly overnight - there was a set back... wevere inflammation of her GI tract that left her very uncomfortable. Her appetite decreased again, and my uncle and mother had to begin administering the morphine to try and ease her pain. On the third night of this, my uncle and his girlfriend sat up in my grandmother's room as she slept because she was breathing very shallowly - her hands were cyanotic, my uncle tells me, and he was very worried about her. Finally, he woke her and gave her anotherh dose of morphine - and as the drug entered her system, her breathing eased and leveled out and the color returned to her hands... they felt comfortable enough to leave her and go to bed themselves as it was getting late.

They had set up, some time ago, a baby monitor so that my uncle could listen for and care for my grandmother at night... my uncle says that approximately 10 minutes after he retired to his own bedroom, my grandmother just stopped breathing... and she was gone.

He called my mother shortly after midnight and she went to the house; as there was nothing to be done, M and I weren't called until this morning.

I am grateful that she is at peace; I am grateful that she did not suffer for long; I am confident that she is in a much better place tonight; but my heart is broken and I miss her.

Welcome to 2010!!

2010-01-01T20:54:00.001-05:00

OMG! I can't believe it's another new year!! We spent New Year's up in Philly - took Baby Girl and hopped on a plane (she's no more fond of planes than she is of cars, unfortunately!)

We flew up on Wednesday (the 30th) and were in Philly by noon; we got some hoagies from a real sh!thole of a place - B assured me that they are the best hoagies in Philly - and they WERE really good (and huge)!! We ate them at Uncle B's shop while having a little visit. Baby Girl warmed right up to him again and was soon crawling up in his lap for snuggles!! He was absolutely tickled pink.

We stayed at one of the downtown (Center City) hotels - on the 24th floor... It snowed Wednesday night which Baby Girl thought was wonderful. Thursday, we went to the Benjamin Franklin Institute, which was really neat - I'd never been there before - lot of hands on stuff for Baby Girl, even though she was a bit young to appreciate most of it. We kind of caught the early fireworks on New Year's Eve (I say "kind of" 'cause we were stuck in traffic...) and then ate dinner at a tiny, but very authentic place down in Chinatown.

I woke up sick on Friday... not as bad as B and Baby Girl have been, but just feeling "puny" - we watched the beginning of the Mummer's Parade on the TV while Baby Girl was napping, then bundled up and went down into town. We couldn't get to any of the places that the string bands were performing, but we did get to see the elaborate costumes - Baby Girl watched intently! The parade wasn't progressing in a very "normal" manner - there were huge, huge gaps between the bands - sometimes more than 15 mins - and after a while, B declared that "this sucks" and we went back to the hotel. For all the bundling that we did, poor Baby Girl was freezing - she refused to let me cover or warm her hands and I worried that she might never warm up, even though it wasn't really ALL that cold outside - it was in the low 40's I think - but, still, she's so little!!

We had to get up at an unreasonable hour this morning to get to the airport; our flight was scheduled to leave at 7:40am, but the check in line for Southwest was truly ridiculous (took us about an hour to get through), so they delayed take off to wait for all the stragglers - we didn't actually leave until nearly 8:30... despite the fact that they allow more than ample time required to physically fly, we were late getting into RDU - we stopped in Raleigh at an iHop for breakfast and Baby Girl gobbled down a huge portion of cheesy eggs!! Despite the continually running nose, she seems to be feeling MUCH better.

I tried to pick the dogs up this afternoon, but B had failed to mention that the kennel was closing at noon today - he says that he didn't see the huge sign that was prominently displayed on the door... I think he just didn't bother to read it... either way, now they're stuck until Monday, with no medication and without their own food, and it's going to cost me an extra $80, so I'm none too happy. B did apologize for not seeing the sign, IF it was there when he dropped off the dogs on Wednesday... whatcha gonna do??

I HATE Hyundai!!

2009-12-26T11:01:00.005-05:00

And I will be sure to tell that to anyone who will listen, and possibly to some who don't care to hear it!!

We submitted the paperwork to the Better Business Bureau for the arbitration process with Hyundai; they complied everything and sent it to Hyundai for review - and Hyundai came back and offered to look at the vehicle. How f'ing generous of them!

So, they are going to schedule their regional rep to come down to the local dealership and check out my POS vehicle... though I strongly suspect that s/he will find nothing wrong, since they seem to think my car is just fine. If they say that the car is fixed, or that there is no problem with it, then we have the option to escalate to a "real" arbitration - where we would meet with a BBB rep and a Hyundai rep and go over the vehicle's history - then the BBB rep would likely "test drive" the vehicle and later make a recommendation that is considered binding. SO, IF s/he says that Hyundai needs to replace my vehicle, then they have to do so; BUT, if s/he doesn't "feel" the problems and judges the vehicle to be "normal", then we're SOL.

My thought, at one point, was to "park" the Veracruz and let the car catch up with the miles that I've put on it. I am planning on buying a "beater" anyway, for Middle Child to drive and to put the majority of my miles on in my travels to work (40 miles each way) - BUT, as I considered this, it occurred to me that I will pay approximately $15k towards the loan in a 2yr period, and who knows if that will "save" me any money in the long run. If I trade the car now, with the mileage it is carrying and the negative equity rolled in from the Envoy, I'll probably have to buy my way out of it to the tune of $8k or so, but then at least it will be GONE and DONE!! I think that's the way we're leaning right now. We'll see the arbitration process through, I guess, since we went this far already, but neither B nor I hold out much hope for any relief from Hyundai... B said he'll write the president a "thanks for nothing" letter and then another to the National Transportation Safety Board (just to be an ass), and then we'll never buy another Hyundai. Live and learn... I guess sometimes you just get screwed.

Now, I have to find not one but TWO cars... I'm still thinking Q7, though we'll see... any Audi I buy will have to be used and I know that Audi repairs = BIG bucks... so there is that to consider. It's either a used Q7 or a new Highlander. Geez, I love that panoramic roof! LOL

On a sad note, Gama has not been doing well. She went downhill rather quickly and we have no idea what to expect from here on out. On Wednesday, she refused to get out of bed, was incoherent when she tried to speak, refused to eat or drink all day and only seemed to be able to stay awake for 20-30 seconds at a time. The same on Thursday... on Friday, she woke up much more lucid, got out of bed (though she is too weak to walk and has to use the wheelchair), and even managed to eat a litle breakfast, though she then refused anything further throughout the day. We went up to see her yesterday afternoon and she knew who we all were (even Baby Girl who she called by name as soon as she saw her); some of the conversation was lucid, some was very strange (like when she asked me if I'd been able to grow any eggs yet, and this seemed to make perfect sense to her) - God bless the boys for just rolling with it and not asking what Gama meant by the ramblings...

We left there finally and went to Mom & Dad's for a little family celebration/gift exchange. The kids had a great time - and the adult conversation was nice, though M and I did a fair amount of case-related talk which I think annoyed B a bit. The conversation drifted, at one point, to the inevitable task of cleaning out Gama's house when the time comes... not something that I want to think about, though I guess it's something that I'll have to face eventually as I will have to decide what I want to keep and help get rid of the rest of it. I am grateful, for now, that she made it through Christmas and pray that she'll make it into 2010 - though if she doesn't, I am thankful that she doesn't appear to be in any discomfort or pain, even though she's not eating and I was told that the 2 days she was sleeping, she had a perpetual smile on her face - so wherever she was in mind/spirit, must be a good place.

So... tapering my caffeine intake wasn't really working for me

2009-12-06T20:55:00.002-05:00

The original "plan" was to taper my intake through November and stop completely before 1 Dec. It quickly became apparent to me that this wasn't going to work - I just like Diet Coke too much! LOL So, then I had the absolutely BRILLIANT idea to stop cold-turkey, and I've been paying for it all weekend...

Now, I know that some people would say "well, DUH, of course you're going to be miserable... withdrawals... etc." BUT, I would argue that I've quit caffeine (always abruptly) at least 6 times in my life and the effects are variable. At times, I have been totally incapacitated, sometimes there have been NO ill effects, most of the time the results are somewhere in between. This is one of "those" times. I had a headache all day yesterday - not blinding, but enough to impair my vision and make me miserable. I stayed in my pjs all day... even took a shower and then got into clean pjs! LOL

Today, the headache is all but gone, but I've been absolutely exhausted all day. I was going stir crazy, so I took Doo out to Lowe's and then McDonald's. We were only gone for about an hour, but when we got back, I had to take a nap!! And then I didn't want to get up! I am praying that, since I feel better today than I did yesterday, that tomorrow will be even better! 2 days without caffeine and counting...

My Baby Girl is 1 today!!

2009-11-19T10:59:00.002-05:00

OMGoodness! I can't believe that a year has gone by already!! Baby Girl has really grown up! She's gone from being a helpless newborn to a fiesty little toddler in the blink of an eye!

She's walking and babbling and signing - and she has 10 teeth now (4 top/bottom incisors and her top 1yr molars). She's eating "real" food and learning new things every day.

I am so blessed and grateful to have her, even if she does drive me nuts sometimes! LOL

Hyundai SUCKS!!

2009-11-13T21:45:00.002-05:00

I'm about fed up with the crap about my car. Hyundai's attitude seems to be 'sucks to be you"! Nothing that I can do about it, really... they're too big for me to fight. We've been talking to the Consumer Affiars Rep for Hyundai Motor Corporation, and while he seemed to be helpful at first, it appears that he was "assigned" to scope out the situation, perhaps to insure they were prepared for any legal action that we might try to bring.

I don't really expect them to give me a new vehicle. I just think that they should "help" me get out of this one bacause I'm only getting rid of it because it's jacked up! I haven't owned it long enough to have any equity in it; I'm upside down because I just bought it 2 yrs ago! I think they should pony up some cash to help pay it off. We're going to continue to pursue that until they flat out tell us to screw off, and then we will wage a letter-writing campaign that will include a report to the NTSB. It may end up as nothing, but at least it will make them sit up and take notice because they WILL have to address the NTSB issue!!

Baby Girl has been sick... runny nose = ear infection; she's been running a fever, panting like a dog when it spikes. It finally broke today and we're thankful for that! She is such a bear to medicate though!! I have to hold her down and pry open her lips! Poor baby boo!! Sick babies are NO fun. She's up to 23# 4oz and is 30" tall!! What a big girl! She'll be 1 next week - I can't believe it! Where has the time gone??

Now I'm going in a whole NEW direction...

2009-11-08T20:18:00.004-05:00

Yesterday afternoon, B decided we all needed to "go for a ride" - we ended up in F'ville, car shopping. We stopped at the Toyota dealership to see if they had any Highlanders. They had a single Hybrid out front - I was hoping to locate a gas version to drive. The salesman, who had a wet-mop personality, drove us around back where I spotted a Limited non-Hybrid, but... he couldn't find the key. Oh, well...

We left there and headed over to Carmax. B's idea there was to look at different types of vehicles "side by side" instead of hopping around between dealerships. To be honest, I wasn't too excited about this idea; I went along to be nice, since he did drive all that way just to look for a new car for me. As I expected, they didn't have much that I was willing to consider, BUT they did have a Volva and an Audi. The Volvo - well, it was a Volvo - not exactly my style. The Audi, on the other hand... OMGoodness... I just loved it!! Not as "flashy" as the Highlander, but still had all the "bells and whistles" and as B pointed out, the "Krautmobiles" are built solidly and built to last!

We left there and B was even energized anew. He couldn't believe that I was willing to consider a used vehicle; he just assumed that I would insist on new. I let him now that I'd had plenty of used vehicles and had no beef with them; in fact, in I have my druthers, I'd rather buy a 1-2 year old version of a more reliable/higher end car than a brand new cheaper version. B agreed wholeheartedly.

We got the Baby Girl some lunch at her favorite place - McDonald's - she had a meltdown at the end of the Audi test drive - and then stopped by the Mercedes store. We were actually looking for an Audi dealership, but the closest one is in the Raleigh/Cary area. Anyway, the Mercedes place just happened to have one GL450 on the lot. Uh, WOW!! Gorgeous, gorgeous, gorgeous... an luxurious as can be! It just doesn't get any better!! These things go for $80+ new!!

Well, after much discussion, we decided that the Mercedes might be a bit of a stretch. I mean, I CAN afford one if it's what I truly choose to buy, BUT it's going to be a house payment and higher insurance, etc., etc. End result, it seems that the Q7 is the better choice for us at this time.

Once Baby Girl was settled for the night, we both pulled out our computers to see what we could find online. The Audi at Carmax had 47k miles and they were asking $33k for it (and the price is non-negotiable). B went to ebay (surprise, surprise) and I went to cars.com. I found a bunch of great deals!! Much better than B came across. He actually switched over to see what I was looking at!! LOL

At the end of the day, I found 4 very good possibilities... all of them are 2007 models; all of them have less than 18k miles (!!). My very favorite of them, by far, is pearl red, with black leather interior (I actually prefer the 2-tone beige leather, but... I guess in used cars, you have to make concessions); it has the auto start feature (button start) and the nicer rear seat accessories (seat heaters, 4 zone cooling, wood trim arm rest). It also has a back-up camera that comes on automatically when you switch into reverse! And, the steering wheel is heated! The panoramic moonroof is absolutely beyond compare and no one else has anything like it! I think it's the coolest thing I've ever seen in a car!! It extends over both the front and middle rows and has a retractable shade (powered); the front half of it also lifts up and slides back in varying degrees - there are a dozen or so levels that it can be opened. It can be operated from the front and from the 2nd row as well. There is a separate sunroof over the 3rd row seat, which pops up; it has its own sunshade, though it is manually opened/closed.

For all that's "right" with the car, it isn't perfect - the Nav system isn't activated, but that can be done by a dealer (needs a module installed, I believe); and it didn't have the DVD system like the one at Carmax did, but to be honest, in all of our searching, in the dozens of vehicles that we looked at, we only found TWO that DID have the DVD players. I spent some time online today looking at options, and will likely get that done after-market. For a couple thousand $$ I can get headrest DVD players installed so the kids can each watch their own movie!! B even suggested putting one in one of the 2nd row headrests so that the 3rd row passenger (the times that there IS one) would have his own screen. I LOVE that idea!! The other wicked cool thing we both loved was a wood steering wheel (and a matching shifter knob)... again, we only saw it on a couple of the vehicles we looked at. In fact, this isn't even offered as an option on the Audi website, so it seems to be after-market. But, it's something that I'll consider; I should be able to get it done for no more than $500 but it adds SO much to the "richness" of the vehicle!! B found a place that applies the matching wood to your own steering wheel - you have the dealer take it off and ship it to them; they revamp it and send it back to be reinstalled...

Of course, once I settled my mind on the Audi, B started pushing the Mercedes. WHAT?!? He's the one who kept saying "it's out of reach" and convinced me to be satisfied with the Audi!! The problem is, there are just too many to choose from, and they all have "cool" features... but I can only afford ONE vehicle!!

The Mercedes is, well, a Mercedes - and it has powered third row seats (push a button to sit them up or lay them down); but... it looks kinda like a Suburban (superficially speaking, 'cause a Mercedes will NEVER look like a freakin' Chevy!!). It's also quite a bit more expensive, and I really don't want to go older than 2 yrs or over about 25k miles.

The Audi is the most stylish, externally speaking. It has indoor/outdoor type carpet which is awesome because it doesn't show the wear like "regular" automobile carpeting. It also has the awesome and incredible panoramic moonroof, which I LOVE, LOVE, LOCE!!

The Acura MDX looks a lot like the Q7, but it's a rice-burner, and I think I've had enough of those for the time being. The Volvo is nice, but it's a Volvo - all boxy and hard angles; just not "me". The Lexus only has 2 rows; same with the Nissan Murano. The Mazda CX-9 is a bit "crude" - their attempt to keep it "sporty" rather than more luxurious leaves it feeling "cheap". The Hyundai... hahahahahahaha!! Like I'd get another one of those!!

So, where do we stand right now?? Early this coming week, the Hyundai people are supposed to get on the phone with the dealership and start figuring out what to do about this situation. I'm sure there are endless possible solutions they could offer... I can't see them doing nothing since we've already established that this is a "safety issue" - that would leave them WIDE open for legal ramifications! I suppose they could "fix" it, but we've been there, done that many, many times over the last 16 months, so there is NO way they will EVER convince me that that car is fixed for good. They could buy me out of the car, which would be fine; they could offer me a new Veracruz, which also would be fine, as long as they let me keep my existing loan - with a brand new car and only $24k owed, I'd trade that bitch in so fast, it would hardly have time to gather dust!! Offering me a new car with a new loan would NOT go over well, and I do believe that I'd have to veto that offer! Right now, the anguish is waiting for them to decide. I hope they'll be expedient as I'm without a vehicle, and they can't really give me mine back, for the aforementioned safety concerns.

Well, tomorrow is Monday; keep your fingers crossed that it brings GREAT news on this front!!

Some potentially good news...

2009-11-06T19:29:00.003-05:00

B got home late last night - actually, it was about 2am today - anyway, after we got up and got Baby Girl off to daycare, we picked up the green Jag then stopped by the dealership to drop off my car, AGAIN. We talked to the service manager who said that he was going to drive my car himself to see if he could replicate the problem. I told him a couple of things that I have noticed over the last week - (1) it doesn't happen when the car is cold; it works fine in the morning, but by the time I get to the boys' schools, it's lagging, so you have to drive it a good 20 mins before you can expect to experience the joy of my vehicle; and (2) you have to accelerate from a complete stop to get the lag. I got B to take a quick look at the Highlander; he's still very skeptical about the hybrid feature, but he likes the car a lot. He even liked the mossy green color of the one on the lot!!

We stopped by the Mazda dealership and they happened to have a CX-9 out front; it wasn't the top of the line model, but we drove it anyway. I thought it was okay - not fabulous, but consider what I've been driving... B wasn't much impressed; he says that you hear too much road noise, and that that will increase as the car ages; he thinks it's "cheap" even though it would be about $37k for the model that I like.

We decided to rule out the Buick Enclave altogether. I think it's a beautiful car, inside and out, BUT I've already had one GMC which was a piece of shit, and the Enclave isn't a cheap car - it's a good $40k. I don't to pay that much for another POS!! Been there, done that, still stuck in it!!

Now, with these latest issues, B has been calling Hyundai to try to get some type of satisfaction from them. He has been getting the run around like always happens with customer service centers. They don't call him back, and when he calls them back, he ends up with a new "rep" who wants the whole story from the beginning again. He even asked for the name of the "head honcho" and was told "I don't know."

So, B went to the Internet and got the name of the president of Hyundai and his mailing address; he wrote a letter, which I still haven't read in its entirety, and sent it off. It first went to the service center, I guess, and they forwarded it to the corporate office. They told him that it was forwarded on Wednesday and that we would get a response in 4-5 business days. Their "guy" called this afternoon.

According to the Hyundai guy, he received a letter from the president of Hyundai himself, telling him to look into and resolve this situation; B spent about 45 mins talking to him, giving him the rundown on the situation, beginning to end. At the end, he promised to look into it and get back to us. He did tell us that the dealership should have called in the district rep early on given the nature of the problems. That was their screw up... As a result, he says, they have no "baseline" and don't know if the original problem was ever corrected or if this is just still part of it.

At any rate, it's nice to see that they responded so quickly and are taking things seriously. B says it's because of the "safety" issue here... if we report the problem and they don't act on it, and then there's an accident... the NTSB would be up their asses like white on rice.

I'm going to keep looking around; I figure I'll be in a new vehicle by the end of November, and that will be fine. We did a lot of talking while we were driving around today and as a result, I've ruled ou the Hybrid Highlander. I've agreed to keep it under $40k. That's really plenty for me to spend on a vehicle right now... I'd really like to keep my car payment LESS than my house payment!!

Did I tell you how much I HATE my vehicle??

2009-11-04T17:58:00.003-05:00

OMG!! This car is the biggest POS ever!! The lag is back, and it's most annoying. I guess the only positive things I can say are (1) it's not breaking down (at least not yet) and (2) it lags, but it's not surging forward like before - when I press on the accelerator, half of the time, it works perfectly normally; the other half of the time, nothing happens for a couple of seconds and then the car speeds up normally... but the lag is a little scary. What if I'm making a turn and don't have that extra 3 seconds to hesitate?? I've become a very cautious driver since it started - which I guess isn't a bad thing, but it's annoying.

I'm leaning farther and farther away from another Veracruz as the days go on. I know it might still be the best deal we can make, BUT I just hate this vehicle so much!! I know it's probably the ONLY crossover that I will be able to find, but I'm willing to go back into an SUV at this point. The Highlander Hybrid is looking pretty fine right now, even with the higher price tag!!

If I have the time, I may go check out some vehicles tomorrow... I need to actually see the SUVs and drive them to make any kind of informed decision. As much as I hate the idea of increasing my car payment - it's already $603/month - at this point, if that's what it takes, then so be it... The Highlander hybrid gets an estimated 27 mpg compared to 15 for the non-hybrid version (the Veracruz is about 17); seems that the improved gas mileage would more than make up for the increase in car payment... if I like the way it drives/handles. We'll see... God I hate this!

What was he thinking?!?

2009-11-03T22:04:00.003-05:00

So, today, my darling nearly 13 yr old son was suspended from school - for one day - for SELLING those Ambesol Q-tip things to his classmates. He got in trouble for distributing medication... I can't begin to fathom what he was thinking. Apparently, neither can he.

We didn't yell, we didn't smack him around (though the thought DID cross my mind briefly) - right now he's at my house, so the computer/TV are off limits for the rest of the week (he goes back to his dad's on Friday), he'll have to go to work with me tomorrow (that should be a blast), and he has to pay me back for the things he gave away, since I bought them.

Sometimes I swear I just don't get it... but then, I guess I just can't think like a 13 yr old boy!!

Changing gears -- I've got to try to figure out what type of car I want. Unfortunately my choices are very limited - looks like Hyundai, Toyota or Nissan, actually. I like the Murano but it's much smaller than the Veracruz (no 3rd row), and B says it's "cheap" on the inside. The Pathfinder has the 3rd row, but it's an SUV, not a crossover. I also like the Santa Fe, but primarily because it's available in pearl white - probably not a good reason to buy a vehicle. I'm pretty sure it's also on a truck frame... I used to love my Veracruz!! Now I see pictures of the interior and just feel "ick"!! Though I'm thinking of going with the brown saddle leather this time around which gives it an entirely different look! The Highlander is a nice looking vehicle too (probably a truck frame) and it comes in a hybrid, which is pretty cool... Even my very limited selection seems to be too much for me to handle!! I suppose I'll have to go down there and actually look at the vehicles and drive some to make a final decision. B is leaning towards the Veracruz.... I'm not totally convinced.

The owner of the Hyundai dealership called today

2009-11-02T20:16:00.003-05:00

He wants us to come down and try to work a deal to get out of this defective vehicle. He says that he recognizes that this car is a safety hazard and that he's spoken with Hyundai - they are hopefully going to work some kind of deal with HIM for taking it from us. I figured that they would... wouldn't be too good for a major car manufacturer to say "uh, yeah, we realize that that is one of 3 truly bum vehicle, but you're just gonna have to suck it up". We're going to go down there when B gets back home - end of the week, probably.

B is leaving tomorrow a.m. for Idaho to check on the status of the airplane hangar for his Nigerian client, Mr. S... money is money, right?? Mr. S is paying him a goodly daily wage to fly out there (by the way, there appears to be NO good way to get to Idaho!) and have a look around. Oh, and to pay the balance left on the hangar so they'll get it ready to ship. Of course, I suppose it's much more cost effective than sending one of his guys over from Nigeria... It seems that, even though the contract specifies that final payment is due when the item is ready to ship, the company won't produce the hangar doors until they get final payment -- now, me being me, I'd argue the point with them -- a contract is a contract, after all. But, Mr. S has agreed to go ahead and make final payment, but he wants B to do it in person.

And, as if going to Idaho ONCE isn't enough, after they get the hangar doors ready and get the pieces to the shipper (who is somewhere on the west coast - Washington, maybe??), B will have to go out THERE to make sure that things are copacetic prior to them loading it all up on a ship for Africa. Again, money is money... it just seems kinda silly to me... but money is one thing that Mr. S has plenty of.

I signed up with the Jillian Michaels' site this weekend; started the meal plans yesterday and the exercise plan today. I felt GREAT today (I'm tired now and have a headache...) and didn't totally hate my time at the gym - LOL. I'm just not very motiviated when it comes to exercise - this is nothing new... Having a detailed, step-by-step plan is amazing - I can make myself work through it - it's when I'm left to my own devices that I wuss out!! And, it's common knowledge that I'm not much of a cook - so having pre-planned weekly menus (complete with recipes and shopping lists!) is a God-send!! The food I've made so far has been quite good... certainly as good as anything else that I've managed to come up with by flipping through recipe books on my own! And, it requires NO thought on my part!! Woo hoo!!

Basically, all of MY meals are planned; the boys and B are free to have whatever they want, or don't want, for breakfast and lunch; we all eat the same thing for dinner. It's not so much "low fat" as it is just healthier food - tonight we had whole wheat pasta with sauce made from scratch, with turkey instead of beef. I wilted spinach for me and B; Middle Child had a salad; Little Man had green beans. All in all, the meal was a success... remarkable for this family!!

Anyway, I don't feel hungry so much, I don't feel totally deprived because the food is good - let's see how long I can stick to it!!

Halloween

2009-10-31T23:29:00.002-04:00

is increasingly disappointing to me.... so many of my neighbors are too freakin' lazy to even give out candy anymore, and since I live kind of on the outskirts of the neighborhood, we get very little traffic anymore.

Why am I ticked about this?? Because this year we went "all out" - I spent a small fortune (okay, so it wasn't really a fortune, but I DID spend hundreds of dollars) on decorations - we had the witch and her cauldron, complete with fogger; the apothecary of witch's brew ingredients; the rodents (rats) and birds (crows and owls); spiderwebs and spiders; the grim reaper with scythe, chain and lantern; the graveyard; severed limbs; the skeletons climbing the front tree; a dozen hand-carved Funkins with flickering lights; I was right proud!! I even bought myself a costume (I made a rather cute vampire, if I do say so myself... the teeth were totally bitchin'), bought the kids nice costumes, bought a bunch of decent candy, etc.

Well, the boys decided to go to a haunted house instead of trick-or-treating - and that's fine, they ARE getting older... I handed out candy to the few people that showed up (most of them don't even live in our neighborhood), then I got annoyed and set the candy on the front porch and shut the door.

Next year, I'm going to find a costume party to go to -- somewhere, anywhere.... I don't care if I have to go out of state to a friend's party!! LOL Damn! What a waste of time and energy Halloween was this year... such a shame!

My car is a huge P-O-S!!

2009-10-29T20:05:00.003-04:00

Arrrgggghhhhh!!! I am SO done with my car!! The damned thing had yet another major problem.... this time it was lagging (seriously) when I pressed the accelerator and then jumping suddenly, and sometimes jerking when I was driving at a steady speed - it's hard for me to describe because I don't know the appropriate mechanical terms, but it felt like I was driving along and rhythmically letting up on the accelerator, causing the vehicle to slow briefly and then accelerating back to speed - only I wasn't making it happen... I took it to the dealership because it was driving erratically as described above, and because the "check engine" light had come on.

We left the car, then called that afternoon to find out what was wrong... their answer? "The "check engine" light isn't on and we the codes the computer is bringing up are nothing." Uh... okay... it's still f'ed up, even if you can't figure it out.

So we took it home, and I drove it for another 2 days until the "check engine" light came back on, because it always does... and we took it BACK to the dealership and this time left it running until the guy came out and saw it lit. They hooked it up to the computer again and this time supposedly got a whole different set of codes. The called Hyundai and decided that a "software upgrade" was required after the throttle body was replaced the 2nd time, and they had neglected to do this, and THAT'S why the car is jacked up now. The throttle body was last replaced over a year ago - wouldn't you think that, if it was a software incompatibility issue, it would have manifested a little sooner?? Especially given how much I drive in a year?? I guess not...

When we went to pick the car up, the service manager told B that Hyuandai told him that I apparently have one of three Veracruz's in the US that are totally jacked up... Hyundai keeps track of all of this in great detail it seems. Now, as much as I have bad-mouthed Hyundai in recent months, I don't truly believe that they are ALL pieces of crap; I have always believed that I was unfortunate enough to have gotten a real "lemon" of a vehicle - now I know that this is a fact. And while it might be nice to know that they are capable of manufacturing quality vehicles, it doesn't make it any easier to stroke that check each month, as I'm waiting for the next huge problem to rear it's ugly head!! My car cost just as much as any of the ones that are functioning properly!! I didn't get a discount because mine is f'ed up!

On a possibly positive note, the service manager also told B that he would go with us to the dealership owner to discuss cutting a "deal" to trade my car in for something new (I have to think that he's already broached this subject with the owner, as he would look incredibly stupid if he went in there with us and the guy said "hell, no"). I am very anxious to see if we can work this out - I figure that, at the rate I put miles on the car, I have less than a year left on my warranty (I currently have 65k miles on the car; the drive train warranty is to 100k) - this is the 4th major defect we've had to have repaired; thanks to the warranty, I haven't had to come out of pocket for any of them, but that will all change when the warranty runs out next year and I am NOT going to be happy about putting out hundreds, or possibly thousands, of dollars to fix a car that has been jacked up since the day we bought it. I imagine that Hyundai will make some sort of accomodation for the dealer should he cut us a deal, as they know that the car is dysfunctional.

Because I rolled the negative equity from the Envoy into this car, I'm currently upside-down in the loan,or I'd have already dumped the damned thing. I'm not totaly keen on getting a new Veracruz, though I doubt a new one would have these issues - so we're looking at what other options may be available. It has to be something that this guy has at one of his many dealerships, and we're not totally sure what lines that encompasses. B is supposed to call the service manager tomorrow to find out. I may end up with a Veracruz anyway, because that might be the best deal. B says if they offer to take the car and $5k for a new one, we're all over it.

We tried to look at some options today, but there are a pitifully small number of crossover vehicles in this area. The Hyundai place had ONE Veracruz in white (we wanted to see a black one - not a huge fan of black, but the Veracruz is not supposed to be a flat black, supposed to be metallic and dimensional, so I want to check it out); the Mazda place didn't have a single CX-9; they had several CR-7s, but those are smaller; the Buick place had one (used) eggplant colored Enclave (it really was a purple-brown color).

Now, as car's go, I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE the look of the Enclave... BUT -- it's an American car, which I am NOT a fan of... the pieces just don't "fit" together right - there are gaps and irregularities... and they are quite a bit more expensive than the Veracruz (start out at $5k more for the base model) - my car payment is currently just over $600/month; I really don't want to end up paying even more!! Now, since that one Enclave IS used, it might be more affordable, and I don't care about it being used.... but it's still an American car... so I just don't know.

My gripe about Hilton

2009-10-18T22:28:00.002-04:00

We're staying at the Hilton in Springfield this weekend - it's a nice hotel, but... when we checked in, and went up to our room, the door was propped open and there was some plastic thingy lying on the floor. Guess they were doing some re-wiring and the plastic stuff is what they use to hold the wire against the wall. Anyway, they send one of the workers in to "fix" it, which was fine...

I get us all unpacked and B is entertaining Baby Girl in the window. We're on the 8th floor, facing the highway, so there is plenty for her to watch and she's loving it. She's standing on top of the air conditioner unit and I notice that there is a window there... walking over, I reach out and push and the damned thing slides open!!

So, I call down to the desk and explain the situation to them; the guy seems stunned but he finally says that he'll send maintenance to check it out. B went to buy some shoes for the wedding, and Baby Girl and I hung out waiting for the maintenance guy - 4 hours later, as we come back from dinner, and I'm trying to put Baby Girl to sleep... he slides the curtains open, makes a big show of putting in a screw with a power drill, and then closes the curtains and leaves. I think "problem solved" and go on about the business of settling our daughter for the night.

As is the norm for her, Baby Girl is up and about at 7am. She goes immediately to the window, reaches up and pulls out the screw because it's WAY too small for the hole!! I call the desk and report this; they promise to send someone to fix it correctly. As we leave the hotel for breakfast, we stop at the desk and reiterate the issue; again, they promise to correct it. We return to the hotel and Baby Girl takes her morning nap; I head to the "health center" for a run; we all shower and dress for the wedding, and no one comes to repair the window. We are gone from 2pm until nearly 9pm, and return to a room with a window that still opens! But, Baby Girl is exhausted and I don't want anyone screwing around in the room so we let it go for the night.

We check out of the hotel at 8am to head for home, again reminding the front desk that the window in room 805 is not secured. Wouldn't surprise me to find out it can STILL be opened! I sent an email to Hilton about it - wonder if I'll even hear anything back. From now on, we'll be staying elsewhere...

A Thai wedding

2009-10-18T21:07:00.002-04:00

was this weekend - a LONG time coming, as I understand it. They've been together for 10 years!! It was nice, even if I was one of only a few falangs there... and even though it meant that we had to make another trip up to DC. Of course, I'm the one who gets to tend to Baby Girl for the 6 hour car trip each way. If she just didn't hate car rides so much!! I'm really hoping that things will improve once we can flip her seat around forwards next month!!

Anyway... they got married at some historic "mansion" in Maryland - about 45 minutes from Springfield. B was the officiant - he was SO nervous about it - but he did fine. They were already legally married - did that on 09/09/09 - so this was just for show. It was quite cool (a good 20 degrees cooler than just last weekend!!) and had rained cats and dogs on Saturday, so I wasn't too optimistic about it being outdoors, but the weather held and it actually wasn't all that miserable out there by the fountain.

They had a ton of hor d'oevres and then a buffet dinner - the Thai have a tight community and people seemed to be coming out of the woodwork to put this thing together! There were "guests" arriving left and right with trays of crackers and these strange gelled cubes rolled in coconut (which were pretty good, by the way). There was an open bar and I put it to good use! LOL Made chasing Baby Girl all over creation much more bearable!

We left right before they cut the cake; it was way past Baby Girl's bedtime and she was having a meltdown. I hated that we weren't able to stay, but it was just too late... the wedding didn't even start untiil 4:30. I know that many people don't understand why we can't just "keep her up a little later" but she is so regimented when it comes to naps and, even more so, for bedtime!! Just being up that extra 90 minutes tonight will make the rest of our night difficult - if she doesn't go to bed on time, she is up and down all night!!

We're up and out early tomorrow morning - I need to be back home to pick the boys up after school... I'm actually looking forward to just being at home for a while.

This weekend was the continuing education conference -

2009-10-11T22:00:00.001-04:00

the ACVS (American College of Veterinary Surgeons) Symposium in Washington, DC. We drove up on Wednesday afternoon and checked into the brand new Residence Inn in Springfield, VA. It's about 1/2 a mile from the Springfield Metro Station (end of the blue line) which made it very easy for me to head into the city - I took the blue line to Metro Central, switched to the Red Line and took that to Woodley/National Zoo - come up from underground, and you're directly behind the hotel hosting the conference. Normally I prefer to stay AT the conference hotel, BUT the Marriott Wardman Hotel thinks very highly of their lodging and charges upwards of $250/night... more than I felt like coming out of pocket this time around!! We got a very nice place at a very new hotel for $75... $4.50 each way for subway fare, but we still came out on the very positive side in this equation, no matter how you spin it.

Of course, part of the rationale for staying in Springfield is that B's family lives there. We got to spend a bunch of time with D & S/D and S's family. It was a pretty nice visit, but poor Baby Girl did suffer a bit. We were ill prepared for her "normal" regimented napping schedule and she missed much sleep - making her cranky and downright unpleasant - but we couldn't do much complaining as WE created that monster! In more ways than one...

We left early this afternoon to head back home - of course, I have to go back to work tomorrow... *sigh* and then, lucky us, we head BACK to Springfield on Saturday for R & A's wedding which is Sunday afternoon. Hardly time to get unpacked and get the laundry done... but, family is family and this is a huge deal for them of course, so... whatcha gonna do??

This is my last night of work for a while

2009-09-28T01:22:00.003-04:00

and I am grateful because I am EXHAUSTED! I have had very little in the way of sleep, and precious little that has been restful or quality sleep. I should be thankful that work is busy and steady - and I am, to an extent - but, damn!, I'm tired! LOL

So, the guy with the dane finally decided to have the exam, and then consented to the diagnostics after the tech told him that refusing to do so was just stupid and a waste of the $80 exam fee. Even though his abdomen felt "normal", we decided to do an x-ray - something about that heart rate of 180 just didn't seem right to me... The x-ray was a perfect "reverse C" - textbook presentation of a GDV. Thank GOD he didn't just decide to go home!! So, at 1:30 am, into surgery we went.

This one was a little easier in that I was able to decompress the stomach with a needle - it was primarily gas. However... things soon became trickier! He was SUCH a deep chested dog that I had to stand on my tiptoes to reach all the way down underneath his stomach, and it felt like it too ages for me to determine the direction of the torsion - but once I finally gave the appropriate amount of tug in the appropriate direction -- the stomach derotated and fell right back into place - the feeling was amazing... better than sex! Well, almost...

Everything looked good, all organs pink and "happy" - I pexied him, did a quick gastric lavage, ran a liter of warm saline through the abdomen, and we were ready to close him up. Surgery took just under 2 hrs; not too bad, all in all. He looks great today, really - though he'll only eat if hand fed (most danes are such big babies!). So far, I'm 2 for 2 on this - and I like it that way!

Tonight we've had another string of snakebites. I guess when the snakes are out, they're ALL out! And then all the dogs end up here! LOL We even had a CAT in for snakebite this weekend! And a bengal at that! Who lets their bengal wander around outside?? Of course, one of the other snakebite victims was a 9 week old yorkie... that was an interesting case...

The owner and her friend brought the puppy in. They'd had him less than 24 hrs and swear he was bit on the nose by a rattlesnake - they claimed to have seen the snake and swear that it was positively ID'd as a rattler! Of course, they also said they tried to shoot it... so I guess someone had time to run inside and get a gun during the melee, but - whatever... So, anyway, I give them the "standard" estimate - hospitalization, iv fluids, bloodwork, pain meds, antibiotics, diphenhydramine, etc. Mom says "so, you're going to promise me that she's going to be okay?" I said, "no, ma'am, I'm not. There aren't any guarantees in life." I then added, "but the only snakebite victim that I've lost in the last 10 years was the one who refused to leave the dog with me." She then tells me that "if this puppy dies, you and I are going to have a huge problem." What am I supposed to say to that?? I bite my tongue and tell her that all we can do is supportive care and observation, but that's the best treatment for the puppy at this time. She continues to flap her lips with "well, if something happens to her, then I'm bringing the kids up here and you can explain it to them; that's what I'm saying." And all I can think is "the first thing I'd tell the kids is that I didn't let their dog get bitten by a damned rattlesnake!" as I turn and walk out of the room. Luckily, despite elevated coag values, the puppy did quite well...

Even though I don't work that much, it seems like it's all I do! LOL

2009-09-26T00:23:00.004-04:00

I guess the truth of the matter is that the days in between just fly by so quickly!! I've been back in the gym, which feels GREAT! I also registered for TRX classes started next Tuesday; hopefully that will go well - I just realize that this will be the first classes that I've gone to in the 4+ years that I've had a membership at First Health! I've been meaning to go to classes... just haven't quite made it yet.

Didn't make it to the gym today, which was a bit disappointing, but that's because I worked last night, then had an appointment this morning for another panorex - it was 10:30 by the time I got home and I spent the entire day (literally) putting together my new Scrap Box - which, by the way, is TOTALLY awesome and I am SO psyched that I got it - can't wait to load all my junk into it!! Then I hopped through the shower and headed back to work.

Hopefully I'll get to sleep soon... I'm pretty beat and I DO want to spend at least 45 mins at the gym tomorrow so as not to ruin my latest streak. I've been following an iPhone application called "C25K" for "couch to 5k" to get back into running; I hate it, which is expected, but I'm doing it anyway - and it makes me feel good, so it's not all bad.

My current case, the one that is preventing me from catching some "Zzzzs" is a 3 year old great dane who is delinquent on his vaccines; he's been vomiting non-stop since 11pm (per the owner), and has a fever of 104.7. The owner isn't sure, however, if he wants to spend the money tonight as the dog stopped puking on the ride over. Uh, hello, idiot... there's STILL the matter of the nearly 105 temperature to address!! The world is just FULL of morons, and unfortunately most of them own pets -- I try to take the positive approach and remember that for me it means job security!

On a much, much more pleasant topic, my Baby Girl is about to start walking, I do believe! She spends a lot of time standing now and balances quite well; she can reliably take 6+ steps before landing on her padded butt or dropping to her knees because she crawls much faster than she walks and she knows it! She is an amazing joy and I am grateful every single day that we have her - yes, even when she spits eggs directly into my eyeballs, even when she dunks Pink Berry into the poopy diaper, even when she wakes me up at 5am because she wants to play, I am thankful.

Shopping Diva!!

2009-09-09T22:31:00.003-04:00

So, my new "thing" is scouring consignment shops for designer clothes... and I will say that with just 4 trips to various shops, and about $350, I have totally re-outfitted my wardrobe!!

I decided recently that I needed new clothes - you know, B likes me to dress up more and I honestly feel better when I do (strange, but true...) but just didn't have the wardrobe to really support that. And, I like nice stuff... I tried shopping online, with varied success. Ended up on ebay looking at designer lots of clothes - which is great, but... you just don't know how something is going to look on you until you put it on - I've had my share of returning items after I bring them home!! So, instead, I found "looks" that I liked on ebay and took pics of them with my phone! Hahahaha!! Figured that I could take the pics to the store with me and see if I could duplicate it reasonably.

Anyway, somehow I got the idea to hit Fifi's and - what do you know? - I found lots of nice stuff for VERY reasonable prices... I got a new looking Ralph Lauren purse that is TOO cute for just $14!! I was too thrilled to see a price tag of $28, and more than willing to pay that, BUT... anything that has been in the store for over 30 days is HALF OFF!! Who knew??

All in all, I've gotten quite a lot of things - I've gone to Fifi's in So Pines, and the one in P'hurst, A Bit of Couture in P'hurst and Champagne Taste in Raleigh. I've gotten an ivory leather jacket, a Liz Claiborne 100% silk jacket, a brand new Talbot's blazer in a gorgeous blue (yes, I know it's for spring, but it was SUCH a deal! LOL), Ralph Lauren pants, Talbot's pants, Liz Claiborne pants and tops, lots of shirts, a couple of sweaters (including 4 darling 100% silk sweater tanks that will be great under other things), a few jackets that are lightweight enough to wear almost as shirts, several skirts, a cute dress, etc. I couldn't be happier!! I've been pulling some of my older, more pedestrian stuff out of the closet to go to Good Will... I've always envied the local "soccer mom" look and now I can look polished and sophisticated all the time, too!! LOL

I got my hair done today - still have high lights and some low lights, but darkened the overall hair in between. I really like it... got rid of the brassiness that was getting on my nerves. Tomorrow morning I'm getting my nails did - they I'll be PHAT! Hahaha!!

This "day work" sucks!

2009-08-28T12:01:00.003-04:00

How in the world do people get anything done when they work all day?? I've been doing relief for Dr. G this week and, while I enjoy the hospital and the people, I feel like I haven't gotten anything done this week!! But, I have a purpose/goal for being here, and I keep reminding myself of that!

Since we are not planning on moving any time soon, and since I have no room for all my stuff, I am going to buy myself a "craft box" - yes, it's $1200+, but it will be AWESOME... it will hold all of my stuff and give me a workspace so I can get back to the scrapbooking!! I am SO psyched now that I've made that decision! I also just bought a used Husqvarna (sp) sewing machine to replace the ancient one that I struggle with now... again, totally psyched!! Life is good...

The Doo beans is working hard at the walking stuff!! Oh to be so trusting that you just let yourself fall!! Childhood is beautiful - too bad real life doesn't match!

Updates

2009-07-30T19:25:00.004-04:00

Once again, it's been a while... so I'll try to summarize what's happened in the last few weeks...

B and I took our kids, and my sister and her kids to Orlando for vacation - a week in July - WHAT the hell was I thinking?? It was miserably hot! The kids still had a great time, but the weather damned near did the adults in!!

We drove to Georgia the first day, and stayed overnight; got to Orlando just after lunch time, but the house wasn't available yet (grrrr.....) so we piddled around, ate lunch, and decided to check out the Magic Kingdom. We left there about 5pm and went to get the house information, went to the grocery store and got moved in. It was a nice house... we had a little issue with the dividing up of the rooms because 2 rooms had twin beds, 4 rooms had kings and 1 had a queen... the problem was primarily between Little Man and my oldest nephew, who were BOTH trying to claim the room with the queen bed... I finally told T that he could have it for the first 2 nights and then he'd have to trade rooms with Little Man (who had twin beds) - Little Man was a little mollified when I explained that at least he'd have the room to himself - having 2 beds did not necessarily mean that he had to share the room.

The pool was a huge hit as was the game room - it had a full sized pool table and an air hockey table. Each of the bedrooms had its own TV also, which the kids loved, though they seemed to watch most of the TV on the big screen in the living room. Mere and I spent over $200 at the store, but we got food for pretty much every breakfast and dinner - so in the long run, it saved me a ton of money! I spent nearly $100 each day just for LUNCH at the parks!! The one big downer about the house was no wifi - you just get so used to always having it available... there was a phone in the kitchen that had dial up access, but that meant you had to (1) have a phone cord - which we didn't and (2) stand at the kitchen counter. What was up with that?? For that much money, we should have had better options...

For the most part, B stayed at the house while we went to the parks; M and I took all 7 kids. We did Animal Kingdom on Wednesday - I'd never been there before, and it was better than I had expected. We left fairly early (4pm) because the space shuttle was set to launch (weather permitting - it had been delayed 5 times already). B and I took Middle Child and T (the only 2 that were interested) down to Titusville where we found a spot in the median of the road, directly across from the launch site, a mere 12 miles across the water from us. It was really cool to watch! As B said, it was a once in a lifetime kind of thing (even though this was HIS 3rd time, but then, he's done a LOT of things that other people have never even dreamed of!) The boys loved it and are looking forward to bragging about it to their friends!! LOL

It was Sea World the next day, and Hollywood (formerly MGM) Studios the last full day. For the most part, we let the older kids do their own thing - they kept in touch via texting and it worked out really well. That allowed me and M to cater a bit to B and sometimes L (though she often rode the rollercoasters with the boys); Baby Girl was out of luck on most things, though she did get to ride a few of the tame rides.

We had to leave the house Saturday morning, and we all (B included) went to Epcot, which was the only park he was really interested in. We were pretty disappointed, however, to find that the country exhibits didn't open until 11am!! We were there when they opened, trying to get in a short day and beat the heat - but it got all screwed up... By noon, it was smokin' hot and he was ready to go - so we packed up the kids and left.

We drove into the edge of South Carolina and B decided that he wanted to stop for the night; M and crew went on home - I think they got in shortly after 11pm. It worked out well for us, though, because we were able to go to dinner and then settle down in the rooms so that Baby Girl could go to sleep and stay on a semi-normal schedule. We didn't rush out Sunday morning, but took our time, and got home early afternoon - not too bad, really.

Everyone had a good time, but we all agreed on 2 things - the next time we go should be several years from now, and it should be in the fall! We'll see what happens with that!!

Oh, yeah, almost forgot... my little punkin' cut her first tooth while we were on vacation -- the TOP right one! I had been carefully watching her bottom gums for any sign of teeth and my sister casually said one evening - "uh, you know she has a tooth, right?" WHAT?? The little bugger cut an upper one first... She has 3 teeth right now... the first was the upper right, then the lower left came in (making her a real snaggletooth!), then the upper left; you can just begin to see the lower right making its way to the surface. No wonder she's had all those ear infections lately...

Last week was rough!!

2009-07-11T16:10:00.003-04:00

WAY too many clients/patients and WAY too little sleep last week!! It took me several days to recover, especially since I got some type of virus concurrently which had me pretty wiped out, but now I'm feeling fine.

Yesterday, the boys and I cleaned out the pantries... 3 garbage bags later, it looks great and there is room for Baby Girl's food (without worrying about jars of baby food crashing down on your head or feet every time you open the cabinet door!). Today I get to tackle the refrigerator and freezer (can you tell I'm procrastinating??).

B and I looked at bottom drawer freezers today at Lowe's; he knows how badly I want one, and I really think that I'll get one next big sale at the BX - he said he's going to ride out there and talk to the lady that hooked us up with the washer/dryer last Veteran's Day!!

We're gearing up to leave for Orlando; 36 hrs and counting... I went up to see my grandmother on Thursday and was planning on dropping off the stroller and pack 'n play for M to transport for us since she has more cargo space. Well, I got all the way to Cary and realized that I didn't put the damn things in the car! So, I have to go to M's tomorrow to take them. Way to waste time and gas...

So, not much else going on right now... doing laundry, dishes, etc. Tomorrow is packing and finishing up... and then we're off! Mickey Mouse, here we come!

Home at last

2009-06-29T19:49:00.002-04:00

I had a great time and it was wonderful to see my friends again, and to meet the ones that I knew only online, but I am so glad to be back home!!

At Fiesty's urging, I gave Baby Girl a small dose of Benedryl before we got on the first plane, and the sweet girl slept pretty much the entire flight!! She was awake on the 2nd flight, but was happy and cheerful so it was okay. She wasn't too happy about the drive home - she started crying and was inconsolable, once we passed Cary, and finally fell asleep just before we got to Sanford. Travelling is difficult for her... poor baby.

Daddy was very glad to see his bitty girl and she was all smiles for him!! He says that I can never take her away again because she got sick! Of course, she got sick the first time when I left her with him... hmmmm....

The good and the bad

2009-06-28T17:25:00.004-04:00

Yesterday had it's good points and it's bad ones...

The good -- Baby Girl had a GREAT time at the water park; once she got over the coolness of the water, she splashed, laughed and played! She was her usual fearless self and actually tried to get away from me - she flipped over onto her belly and kicked her legs/feet, trying to CRAWL through the water!! The older kids had a good time, too, in the arcade and at the water park. Emmy Smurf came over with her 4 and they joined in the fun. We all went to dinner at Cheeseburger in Paradise - and here's where the fun ended --

Near the end of dinner, poor little Baby Girl vomited all over my dress - she hadn't been eating well - last ate baby food on the plane on Friday and had been refusing it ever since. She had woken up with a small spot on her right cheek (smaller than a dime) and by the end of dinner, it had spread to completely cover her cheek. She was very restless and weepy, crying hoarsely after she vomited. Since she had been vomiting small amounts earlier, I decided to take her to be checked out. We spent 3 hours in the Urgent Care Dept of Children's Mercy Hospital here in KC. They were very nice, but slow, slow, slow. The end "diagnosis" was a mild ear infection (left) and Enterovirus. I was given an antibiotic for her ear and told to offer her clear fluids until she stops vomiting.

She wouldn't sleep last night unless she was on my chest, and then she shifted, coughed or fidgited every 10 mins, so I was up all night. Today has been more of the same - she has already had 3 naps and acts like a 4th might be warranted. That is totally unlike her. She wakes up happy and smiling and it lasts for about an hour, then she degenerates into a weepy, crying mess until she falls asleep. Her fever is up also - 101.5 at last check. She is still vomiting up most everything - she can keep down small amounts of Pedialyte, but vomits if she drinks too much or if she gets solid food/formula - this has been AWFUL!! I expect tonight to be as bad as tomorrow.

Fiesty told me to give her 1/2 tsp of Benedryl about 30 mins before we get on the plane - to make her drowsy and help open her sinuses and clear her head to make her more comfortable during the flight. Thankfully Bugabee had some Children's Benedryl in her car 'cause the store here at the result had none.

The boys are acting crazy and Little Man just fell and got hurt... this is going to be a LONG night... I expect it to be worse than last night as we're the only ones still here, so there is no one else to distract them. God help me... I'm ready for this "vacation" to be over!!

A "new" adventure...

2009-06-27T10:51:00.004-04:00

We left this morning for a brief vacation - 4 days in Kansas City, KS. Why Kansas?? you might be wondering. It's not exactly a vacation mecca... it's hot and flat and... well, it's just KANSAS, for crying out loud.

This weekend is a get together of a group of friends - I'm sad to say that the entire group wasn't able to make it, but more than half of us did, so that's not all bad - 10 adults and 18 children in all. We came from all across the US - California, Iowa, North Carolina, Maryland, New Jersey, Illinois, Michigan, Georgia, and Idaho - descended upon the Great Wolf Lodge in Kansas City yesterday afternoon and just took over! LOL

This lodge is alright - the girl who checked us in was rather rude, and it's rather expensive, but the room includes access to a huge indoor waterpark, Magic Quest, mini golf and a huge arcade - you don't have to ever leave the place, which is good, because we're in KANSAS!!

The boys came back from the arcade with 5' tall inflatable aliens in noxious shades of blue and green. Five of 'em. Yes, FIVE. Because apparently ONE alien wasn't enough!

They played in the water park, too, and seemed to have a good time. We're rooming with Google and her son, which is nice because it gives her son someone to hang out with so he can roam the hotel without his mom.

We didn't go to dinner until about 8pm local time (so 9pm for us) -- poor Baby Girl was SO exhausted she was just about sick. She fell asleep in the stroller in the restaurant, but was fitfull for the rest of the night. I can't keep her up this late every night. She had a rough day today, too - the flights were fine, but she had trouble sleeping and probably got less than 2 hrs total nap time in between 6a and 10p, so she was fit to be tied!!

Back to life as usual...

2009-06-24T18:50:00.004-04:00

I'm back in the swing of things, though I am finding that it takes a lot more energy to deal with Baby Girl now that she's more mobile! LOL I am SO glad to be home though - I sure did miss her little face!!

Of course, I had to go straight back to work - the very day after I came home - but June is almost over and I will be able to get back to a "reasonable" schedule! I guess I should just be grateful for the extra income since we're going on vacation in July, right?!?

It has been crazy at home lately, trying to get everything done - unpack from AT and get all my gear cleaned and stored back in the attic, wash all the clothes and get them put away, catch up on all the personal issues (had my eyes checked on Monday, got my legs waxed yesterday, and getting my hair done tomorrow), visit my grandmother (today) and get ready to leave on Friday. Amazingly enough, I did manage to pack ALL of our clothes (4 days for all 4 of us) into one medium sized pullman using the rolling technique Maj R taught me... I was shocked, to tell the truth!! Packing the "normal" way, it would have only held MY clothes!!

Anyway, I'm back at work tonight, praying that it will be an easy night, but not counting on it given the way this week has been... what a reintroduction to my work!! Gloriously, I am OFF tomorrow and I am going to ENJOY it!!

An update on what's going on at home...

2009-06-16T09:08:00.005-04:00

B is angry at me for (1) being in the Army and (2) being away from home. I know that this last 12 days have been very difficult for him with his being sick, Baby Girl being sick, and all the stuff going on with my grandmother leaving him without ANY help or relief at all.... He has vascillated being between concerned about my well-being and being a complete ass to me... I finally told him not to bother to call if all he was going to do was make me feel bad about being gone - so he's been primarily texting, which is fine.

I talked to M late yesterday morning while we were out at the HEAT training - the pathology finally came back... Gama has lymphoma AND colon cancer. The primary goal right now is to get her feeling better and back at home - and then they might consider some form of chemo, possibly something mild and oral... as the oncologist said, "It's not so much a matter of what we CAN do, but more a matter of what we SHOULD do at this point." With Gama being 91... they feel that it's unlikely that the colon cancer will be the culprit at the end. Recurrence rate over 5 yrs is approximately 50%. So, while the diagnosis sucks, I guess it's not bad for someone her age. If she can recover from the surgery, that is... that's the area of most concern right now.

I received some very sad news today

2009-06-11T22:50:00.003-04:00

I'm currently in Georgia for my AT (annual training) - we're set up in a "tent city" on Fort Gordon, pretending to be elsewhere... B is alone for the first time with Baby Girl and it has caused us some issues across the distance... it seems like so much has happened since I've been away.

B and I talked a few times and texted intermittently today -- Baby Girl spiked a fever today and had to be taken to the doctor; besides the teething, she had Roseola -- which means swollen lymph nodes, a fever, general malaise and a headache. Great... The best part?? It's a VIRUS, so there's nothing to do but moderate the fever, keep her hydrated and wait for it to break.

Herbie had an eye infection of some sort, and possibly a retrobulbar abscess judging by the way his globe is deviating laterally, but for now, he is eating normally and there is no pain on opening his mouth, so he's on Cephalexin, Pred and Tobramycin. If there is no improvement I'm a few days, he will have to be reevaluated... Elvis' hot spot seems to be drying up --B says the horrible odor is gone, so that was at least a bit of good news amongst the bad.

B told me that he was having a little sinus drainage, but apparently he is much sicker than he let on - he's about as bad off as poor little Baby Girl!!

So tonight I offered to call my mother - have her come down for a few days to help out. "She can't do that," he informs me. "Of course she can," I argue. And we go back and forth until he finally admits what he's not supposed to tell me...

Gama is in the hospital - she had surgery for an intestinal blockage and they found what they believe to be cancer. I sat on my bunk and cried for quite a while - but there's nothing I can do right now... I ended up telling Maj R everything and she called my father tonight to tell him how to officially inform the Army if they receive bad news and they need me to come home before the end of the exercise. Because we are in the midst of a simulation, he would have to put in a Red Cross call - just as if I were in Iraq. I spoke to him later tonight and he assured me that he doesn't feel if will be necessary, but I'm glad that he at least has the information on hand - it will definitely expedite the process in the worst case scenario..

I talked to M tonight - she actually talked to the surgeon after the procedure - seems that there was a stricture or some other type of narrowing of the lumen (nearly complete - barium wouldn't pass) near the ileocecal junction - the surgeon did a resection there; there was also a mass effect type of issue near the sigmoid flexire that he removed, and he did a colostomy (Gama will HATE that); he also found what appear to be small metastatic tumors in her rectum/pelvic inlet as well as some "strange spots" on the body wall adjacent to the ileocecal area of concern. He told M that he has no guess, no prognosis, no clue at this point - so we're waiting on path, which should be in on Friday or Saturday; she is supposed to call me as soon as she knows anything -- not that I will necessarily get the message in a timely fashion...

So all I can do now is wait... and pray; I doubt I'll sleep much tonight, but the Blackhawks are running night ops anyway, so I was doomed to be awake regardless.

Time truly does heal all wounds...

2009-06-02T00:43:00.004-04:00

Things are so much better now. I admit to still having "moments" where I wonder if I can do this, but most of the time I would say that I've put it behind me. Funny, that... considering that 6 weeks ago I didn't think that I'd EVER be able to move forward! Guess that just goes to prove how resilient we truly are...

Baby Girl is doing wonderfully!! She is nearly 6-1/2 months old now!! We started her in daycare last week - she goes every morning for a few hours - primarily to help B cope with my impending AT committment, but also for the socialization aspect. She needs to spend some time with other babies, to learn to play together, to share, to handle conflict, to stand up for herself etc. I also think that she'll learn new "tricks" faster from watching other babies. I have noticed that she is a bit developmentally delayed compared to my boys, but then, they were raised in daycares. I am SO grateful that that will NOT be the case with Baby Girl, but I also admit that daycares DO have some benefits. It has been difficult for me to have her there - but at least she's just right across the street (quite literally -- we can walk out the back door, straight out through the yard and across the street to the daycare parking lot!!)

We went to my mother's house yesterday to visit with my grandmother who turned 91 on Saturday. She was SO happy to see us, especially Baby Girl. We put Doo on the living room rug, she pulled up onto her hands and knees and for the very first time, made some forward progress!! I have a feeling that she will be fully crawling by the time I return from Georgia, and that makes me a bit sad. I have been able to be so much more involved with Baby Girl than I was able to be with the boys and I hate the idea of missing a single milestone! I can't really talk to Bill about it, though, because I already know how he feels about my being in the Reserves.

The koi (and the stupid shubunkins) are growing like crazy; the parrot-feather is spreading over the surface of the pond as are the 2 water lillies. Our original water lily has just put up a 2nd flower, and it's just beautiful. Too bad that they only last for a few days. When I get back from Georgia, the boys and I are going to pick out a few new koi - I want some butterfly finned ones. We also need to consider getting a catfish... or some more snails... we have algae galore! But, at least the water is clear and the fish are visible! Now, if I can just get them used to human presence so they'll come to the surface for me!

It's been a while -

2009-04-27T19:57:00.004-04:00

I've been staying busy; trying to sort through the issues alluded to in my last post -- as with anything, I have good days and bad days. Some days, I hardly give it a second thought; other days, like yesterday, I obsess on it for the better part of the day and it totally ruins my mood and everything else that I try to do. B is making efforts, and I appreciate it... I think we'll make it through this - I'm just still processing and dealing with it myself.

Today I went to the Patsy Aiken outlet in Raleigh... I spent almost $300, but I got Baby Girl some really cute outfits, and some stuff for my niece and great-niece, and gifts for WIM babies as well... not too bad overall. I bought Baby Girl her first swim suit - and it is SO darling! I can't wait to go on vacation!!

Work is alright - same ol', same ol'. Yesterday we lost the pathological liar, so that was a relief! Now, if we can just "lose" my nemesis... *sigh*

I still need to post the before and after pics of the pond - and I'll get to it. Recently we've had an algal bloom and you can no longer see the fish or very deep into the pond... it's very aggravating! I just spend nearly $4k and still have a green, opaque pond. I called D (our pond renovator) and she said to "seed" the pond with the bacteria - too bad she didn't tell me that I needed to do that when the pond was first established. I got new plants, too - another water lily, a parrot's feather and a couple of floating ones; I also put some Japanese Trapdoor Snails in there so hopefully all of that will work to clear the pond. Dawn said to give it a week and if it's no better, she'll call the guy at Tramway and find out what I need to do. It's just so frustrating!

Updates

2009-04-10T09:01:00.004-04:00

Well, it looks like they've let Dr. C off the hook -- and I do understand part of the reasoning here since the primary witness is a known pathological liar.... it wouldn't be "fair" to convict her based on what that one person says. They were supposed to still have a serious talk with her, but who knows if that even came about. At least she has been leaving her stupid husband at home lately. That's something. I still hope, since their baby is due right about the time that her contract expires, that maybe they'll either (1) choose NOT to renew it or (2) let me have her contract and give her mine. We'll see what happens there...

On other fronts, B and I had a serious issue arise and I am still dealing with it, though not as well as I would like; I'm not comfortable getting into the details, but suffice it to say that there was consideration of ending our marriage. I do love him though, and despite what he did, I do believe that he loves me. There have been many tears shed (by both of us) and promises made, he swore that it would never occur again and that he'd make it up to me. I just feel so disappointed in him, lied to, betrayed, duped, etc. I trusted him completely and he violated that... now I find that I am obsessing about the events and causing myself a great deal of additional stress. Perhaps we DO need to seek counseling to deal with it - he offered to go... I need to get through this so I can move on, or we need to go our separate ways - I just can't keep living like this... it's almost like I'm WAITING for him to screw up again, and that's not good for either one of us.

And then there is the issue with the freakin' pond. It's not going so well and I am totally frustrated and pissed off... I'm not a landscaping or pond expert by any means, but I'm currently already in for twice the money that I ideally wanted to spend and we're not nearly there. The issue with the leaking liner was a simple matter of physics and I insisted that the proposed solution would NOT work, but no one wanted to listen to me, so they filled the damned pond and, guess what?? IT STILL LEAKED!! So, there goes another 300 gallons of water that I have to pay for. They already wasted about 700 on the weekend when they filled the pond, discovered the leak and then emptied it. Then another 700 or 800 in, and at least 300 out!! I can't wait to see the next water bill! I think it will look GREAT if it's ever done, but in the mean time, I'm hemorrhaging money and my fish are dying in 50 gallon drums that they have been living in for nearly 2 weeks now. Overall, a most unsatisfying situation. When it's finally done, I'll post the pics - right now, I don't want to think about it too much....

As if I needed MORE to worry about (because you KNOW how I freak out over financial issues), my accountant is estimating that we'll OWE about $12k this year. I have NEVER had to PAY taxes!! But, B did make that money with his company last year and has to pay self-employment taxes on it; and the Army paid $20k on my school loans and then 1099'd me for it so I have to pay self-employment taxes on that (thanks so much, Uncle Sam!!), and then I know I did a little relief work between the time I returned from El Salvador and when I started working full time at AUC, but I didn't think it was enough to generate that much in taxes due!! And this is all with claiming 4 kids and all the medical expenses!! When she gets it figured, I'm going to have to go sit down with her and go over it, because I really need her to explain it to me -- it just doesn't seem possible. She says that we had $168k in income, and I think that's too high - but who knows?? I know what B made last year and just don't think there's any way that I made as much as she seems to think I did, even WITH the $20k from the Army. I'm trying not to panic, but failing miserably... with the taxes due next week - and I don't know where I'm going to get all of that money at this point - then there is a couple thousand that will be due on the pond stuff, and I still have the majority of our summer vacation to pay for - I honestly don't know how I'm going to manage it all. And I am totally stressed over it! Not that stressing helps, but it's the way I am...

I know I shouldn't take any joy in this...

2009-03-14T18:40:00.003-04:00

but you know how I feel about Dr. C!! And the fact that she just screwed up BIG TIME and may well get fired because of it... while the situation is serious and I AM treating it as such, there is still a little part of me that is doing the **Happy Dance** (oh so quietly) inside my head!!

The final disposition still remains to be seen, but if she continues to work here, I'd be very surprised (and disappointed in management)... I probably shouldn't go into details right now - it would be inappropriate. But, it was a 2-Phase Fuck Up, one part bad judgement, one part malpractice...

I'm officially "done"

2009-03-11T10:44:00.003-04:00

Breastfeeding, that is... I know I've waffled back and forth for the last month or so, but we were down to nursing only once or twice a day, and now it's been over 48 hours and I can hardly tell it's been that long! I guess that means that most of my milk has dried up...

There's a part of me that is sad - because Baby Girl is only 3-1/2 months old, because I worked SO hard to induce lactation - but, in all honesty, breastfeeding is often a pain in the ass!! I was tired of swollen, leaky boobs, and Baby Girl is more content on the bottle anyway - it takes more work to induce the let down than it does to get milk or formula from the bottle, so she would get impatient with me...

Maybe if I had produced more... maybe if I hadn't been so quick to supplement with bottles... maybe... maybe... maybe.... but none of that really matters. I had a fleeting, stupid thought this morning that I could probably bring my supply back up with intensive pumping, BUT I have a mandatory drill coming up... and that will just leave me stuck pumping irregularly, like every other drill, and result in a decrease in supply...

Ah... I'm done. A little sad, but I think I will be just fine.

Amusing...

2009-03-10T16:05:00.001-04:00

Today A from CCAH called me about the tech mentioned in my last blog entry - apparently she's applied for a job at CCAH and, A said that she knows how anyone I don't like just doesn't last at CCAH!! I did tell her about Sunday's drama, but I also added that the event was totally unexpected of this tech and that, except for that day, I had never had a single complaint about her - she is terribly efficient and very skilled, she's fun and easy going... I have always just loved working with her and would have no issues with working with her again.

In hindsight, after thinking on it for a while, I wonder if what happened was a result of her just being mentally "done" with AUC, kwim?? Because of Dr. C, she lost an option for her daughter and she had had to "call out" for Sunday night because her husband was flying out Sunday morning and she would have no one to watch little K Sunday night, and now she couldn't just bring her along...

I glossed over whacktard tech, when L had asked me about her, because I felt bad being too honest (especially as Dr. S gave her a glowing endorsement)... and that didn't work out at all, and now I feel stupid for not being totally up front with her at the appropriate time, especially given my history with them - I didn't want a repeat - but as soon as I told A about the drama, I realized that that wasn't "typical" of this other tech, so I did expound on my feelings about her.

Another crazy weekend -

2009-03-09T10:50:00.001-04:00

at work... I knew one of the techs was leaving... since the "ban" on children at work (you know how I feel about Dr. C and her stupidity... I'll leave it at that, this time!), and the fact that this tech's husband is often out of town, she decided to find a day job that will allow her to better care for her daughter. Not too surprising... But this weekend, what she did was beyond anything I would have expected from her!!

On Friday, she brought in Kasha - she's a husky owned by an elderly woman; the dog is epileptic and a poorly controlled diabetic, possibly has other health issues... anyway, she had apparently developed pneumonia. Dr. C took her in and started her on treatments, to which she was reponding wonderfully. On Saturday, she was twisting up and pulling out her IV lines; she had completely stopped coughing; and that evening, the tech said that she would take Kasha home on Sunday.

I came in Sunday morning and went to treat Kasha, and we had only 7 units of insulin left... she needed at least 10. We called and called, but the tech wasn't answering. We finally got her after lunch and told her that she needed to come pick up the dog or bring more insulin. She argued that we should just use whatever was in the fridge, but Kasha is on U-40 insulin and what we had was (1) U-100 insulin and (2) EXPIRED. So, I refused to use it and told her she would have to bring some. Which she finally did, mid afternoon.

As she was walking out, I said, "I thought you were taking Kasha home today..." She turned and snapped, very loudly, "she's TOO SICK to go home!" I just turned away from her because I didn't want to get into a shouting match. She stomped out.

A couple of hours later, I get a call from Dr. W who is Kasha's regular veterinarian as well as this tech's old boss and one of the owners of AUC - he questioned me as to what had been done and what treatments were being done. He told me that the tech had called HIM and expressed great concern as to the treatment Kasha was receiving and asked him to call and check on her... WTH?? I was PISSED!! He seemed fine with what we were doing and made no recommendations as to additional treatment, but I was still mad that she would go around trying to make trouble like that -- because that was ALL she was doing!!

Our head tech was furious!! She called and reamed the aforementioned tech a new one because kept saying that we were deliberately neglecting Kasha because of her (the tech's) "special relationship" with the dog. Uh... right... if anything, she was better taken care of. Said tech also insisted that Kasha had been continually coughing, even though apparently she was the only one who heard it - everyone else, myself included, swears that there was NO coughing either Saturday or Sunday...

So, when Dr. C came back Sunday night, I let her know what had happened. And, in turn, she talked to management on Monday morning. Our manager was also FURIOUS!! The tech had overstepped her bounds totally by going to Dr. W. Now, the tech claims that she was just "venting to a friend" but that's BS - Dr. W is not her "friend" - they don't get together for dinner, they don't hang out at the club, they're NOT friends!! He was her boss, he is Kasha's primary veterinarian, she was trying to cause trouble for us... end of story.

End result -- management told her that she would not be working out the rest of her shifts this month and she was taken off the "call" list for fill in techs. She made all of us look really bad, though I have to say that I attempted to return the favor when I talked to Dr. W. I told him that the dog was doing GREAT and that the technician had felt she was ready to go home on Saturday so I didn't understand why things changed on Sunday... Management did tell me that, if he felt we weren't treating the dog appropriately, he would have said, "why don't you add this..." or "do that..." and he had nothing of the kind to say, so he must have agreed with our treatment plan. And, the manager also looked over the flow charts and couldn't see where the dog was not well taken care of, so the tech is the only one in trouble. But, she's gone now...

On another note, our manager also told me that she had talked to Dr. C finally and told her that Mr. C is NOT welcome in the treatment area, and that, in the instance that he has to wait for her, he can wait in the waiting room... hopefully that problem is solved! (I had told the manager that I was trying to talk to a client on Sunday night and Dr. C and Mr. C were talking about something totally innane - while she had clients waiting - and I had to ask them to leave so I could finish my conversation.)

We had a nice visit this weekend...

2009-03-01T15:51:00.003-05:00

B's brother (D) and sister-in-law (S/D - as seems to be Thai tradition, she has a formal/given name and a familiar name) came down on Friday and stayed the weekend; this was a monumentous event as in the entire time B has lived in NC (over 5 yrs now), D has only come to visit once, and it was when he came HERE last year for a couple of days. He's like B's BFF G in that they are always wanting to visit with us, BUT they want US to make the drive up there -- and we have, many times. But since Baby Girl came along, B's attitude has become "you want to see her, you come to us" since we're the ones with a small child which presents its own difficulties in terms of travel.

So, they did come and we did have a nice visit, except for the fact that I was sick Friday night and most of Saturday. I had a debilitating headache -- not sure if it was a migraine (I've only ever had 1 before, but my sister and mother both have them, so it wouldn't be unusual or unheard of for me to develop them) or possibly caffeine withdrawal, because that can be pretty awful as well!! I vomited every time I ate and did little but sleep for 2 days - not much of a hostess!!! But, I was feeling better Saturday evening and was able to join everyone for dinner, and then we just sat around and talked until 11pm.

They brought gifts, mostly from B's neice... a soft pink teddy bear (called a "pancake bear", that we named "Pink Beary" 'cause that's what I call Baby Girl at times), bunches of adorable clothes from The Children's Place and some Polo shoes (pink, of course); D and S/D got her a Teddy Bear Factory Bear named "Golden One" - he's SO soft!! She'll love that as she gets older! And they brought food - Thai noodles and the awesome spring rolls!!

S/D is difficult to understand at times; for having lived in the US for over 40 yrs, she still speaks broken English and though she's using OUR words, her Thai accent is SO heavy that understanding her is hit or miss!! But, we muddled through!! One time, while the guys were out on the front porch (D smokes cigars and B was out there with him), S/D told me how B used to bring his girlfriends to her to get her opinion... yes, he brought several of them, she said - and they were always pretty girls - "the pretty girls always like B", she said. But, she didn't approve of any of them; they were no good or "two-faced". She told me that he had asked her about ME, after he took me up there for the funeral - "but he had already made up his mind about you" she said, with a laugh. She told me that he's a good man, that he never wanted or liked children until me (called them "rug rats"), and that he loves his daughter and will be a good daddy. I know all of this, but he is so gruff sometimes - she agreed, wholeheartedly, but assured me that he was changing, just couldn't do it too fast - "just a little bit at a time"!

S/D just loves, loves, loves children and spent hours talking to and cooing with Baby Girl, dancing around the room holding her and loving on her. Baby Girl took to her right away. She followed me around all weekend, watching what I was doing and critiquing - B apologized for her the first day, but I know she didn't mean any harm; she knows I already raised the boys, but she was just trying to be helpful! She helps S with the babies (C is 6, R 2-1/2 and T 1-1/2) every day and says that she's exhausted when she goes home, but I'm not surprised, watching her with Baby Girl!! All I can say is that S is DAMNED lucky -- no doubt she will come to realize this for herself when her mother is gone for 5 weeks!!

She's going to Thailand soon and is supposed to be bringing back some gold bling for Baby Girl, according to Thai tradition - a gold bracelet for each wrist and a gold necklace and Budda charm like she brought to me when she went 'home' last year.

Whatever else they may be, whether or not they are actually related by blood (a story in itself, that one), they are B's family and I am very fond of them as well.

Thank GOD it's over!!

2009-02-24T10:36:00.003-05:00

Whew! I made it through the 10 nights of work and now I have 12 days off!! Well, kind of! L called and asked me to do a surgery day at CCAH and I agreed; but I'm only working that one day...

Things at home got, surprisingly, much better as the week went on!! B adjusted to taking care of Baby Girl and stopped bitching about it, which was nice. He even let me get in a couple of naps! Yeah, I was as shocked about that as anyone could be! LOL

The situation at work... well, THAT was different. Honestly, the only issue I have is with Dr. C. I just don't like her, which is fine because we don't ever have to work together... if we did, I'd have to quit - just like I left CCAH because of Dr. K. I know that may seem "childish" at first glance, but the truth of the matter is, jobs for veterinarians are far too easy to come by to stay in a position that is miserable. And, if I had to work side by side with Dr. C, I would be miserable.

Dr. S called me about 2 weeks ago to give me a "heads up" about the new policy at work regarding spouses, children and friends... the memo stated (and I quote) "IF YOU ARE ON THE CLOCK, UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES ARE YOUR SPOUSES, CHILDREN OR FRIENDS ALLOWED IN THE TREATMENT AREA". Color me simple, but that didn't seem ambiguous... I thought that maybe my kids were the reason for the new rule - but they were only there maybe 2-3 days/month since I normally don't work when the boys are here. I found out, first from the techs, and it was then later confirmed to me by management, that the true reason for the ruling was Dr. C's husband, who came with her every single shift (that means 14 times/month or more) and stayed for hours at a time, taking up space, distracting Dr. C from doing her job and getting in the way, making work for the girls difficult because they didn't feel like they could tell him to move. (The techs actually told the manager that I always made sure that the clients/patients were taken care of before I did anything for the kids, even telling her about that day I had Baby Girl there and we had to put that dog to sleep -- and when the owner apologized from taking me away from my daughter, I apologized to HER for my daughter being there, and told her that the patients were my priority... I can't believe that they actually remembered that and told management about it, but it kinda gives me warm fuzzies to hear it!!)

Anyway, back to my point - since the memo was put out, Mr. C has continued to come to work with her and is there at the beginning and the end of every shift, though now he is staying more like 30-40 minutes, not 4-5 hours. I know they have only 1 car, and I can understand (I guess...) him showing up at 8p to pick her up and waiting for her to finish up, even though he could certainly sit in the waiting room until she's ready to go, but no matter what, I can NOT see ANY reason that he has to come inside at the beginning of her shift... he can drop her at the door and go on home. In my opinion, her actions are saying "the rules don't apply to me" because the memo didn't say "please try to limit their presence" - it said "don't do it AT ALL". So, this was one source of irritation.

Another thorn in my side was her determination to leave right at 8pm. Well, that's a nice idea, but it rarely works on the weekends; we're just too busy. As long as she's been working at AUC, she just dumps whatever isn't finished on the doctor that is taking over (somehow that is usually ME). I've been letting it slide because I remember how overwhelmed I was at first, and learning when to stop seeing new clients so that you can finish up what is already waiting in the back takes some time... but she's been working for nearly 6 months now -- it took ME less than a week (2 shifts, actually) to figure it out!! Part of the "problem" is that she hasn't even been out of school for 2 years so she's SLOW on a good day - that can't be helped. She's also, in my opinion, completely unqualified for the job she's doing because she CAN'T do some of the more complex surgeries, and she HASN'T had all that much in the way of EXPERIENCE to draw on, but that wasn't my call. I'm not saying she's a bad vet, just too new... I couldn't have done this job (at least, not well) when I first graduated!! The manager DID tell me that she usually leans away from new grads for the aforementioned reasons, but at the time, they were down to just 1 permanent doc (Dr. S), I had not yet signed a contract and they weren't sure that I would, and she was the only other one interested - e.g. they were desperate... and now we're paying for it.

Anyway, when I came back to work this past Saturday night, Mr. C was there (as usual) and both the waiting room and the hospital were full; we went to do rounds and the theme of the night seemed to be "I'm leaving this for you to finish up" ("this cat was attacked by a dog and has a deep laceration under her front leg" "so, you're going to sew that up?" "no, I thought I'd leave that for you to do; and then this dog was also attacked and has a laceration that needs a drain, so I'll leave that for you; and this dog hasn't eaten in a week and has been vomiting, I did bloodwork and x-rays already and I'll leave that for you to finish up" etc., etc.) -- and that just didn't sit well with me since there were at least 5 cases in the back that needed procedures and 6-8 in the waiting room that hadn't even been seen yet... so I told her "if you've quoted them to stay overnight, I'll take care of it, but if they're going home, then you need to finish everything that you started." I will give her credit that she didn't argue with me -of course, if she had, I would have raised holy hell; thankfully, she sent her husband away and told him she'd call when she was ready (apparently they only have 1 car right now), and she did finish up. However, when she punched out at 10:30p, she mentioned to one of the techs that she was circling her finish time on the time card because she hoped to be paid extra for staying late. Another case of wishful thinking... what about "salaried" does she not understand??

Well, as if that weren't enough, it turns out that one of the things she left for me to "finish up" was a Cane Corso with a GI foreign body - she DID look at the rads with me and then called the owner to tell him the dog needed surgery, but only because she was still there doing other things; turns out that not only did he need an enterotomy and a gastrotomy, but he also needed an intestinal resection and anastamosis... now I didn't mind her leaving the 3 hour surgery for me, because quite honestly I don't think she's qualified to have performed it as it was difficult for ME to do, but the dog had come in at NOON and she was just getting him x-rayed at 8pm! She hadn't done a damn thing except draw blood and throw him into a run in 8 freaking hours... and even that, I had breezed over, thinking they must have been slammed all day and he got overlooked, UNTIL one of the techs told me that she had been scheduled to work the swing shift Saturday (4p-12a) and they told her NOT TO COME IN BECAUSE THEY WERE SO SLOW!! So, what in the hell was going on all day??

When Dr. S came in Sunday morning, I told him that he and the manager had better do something about Dr. C because I've about had it. I told him the basics of what had occurred and apparently he called higher ups about it, because when I came back in Sunday night, he told me that she (our manager) would be in early Monday morning to talk to me. Which was good, because I had planned on waiting for her to get there anyway!!

Well, the manager showed up about 7:45a, and we sat down to talk. I told her about the Cane Corso and that the tech had told me they were slow until about 6p, but that I didn't know if the fault lay with the doctor or the support staff since I wasn't there; I told her that I felt Dr. C wasn't qualified for the job but that was HER (management's) call and I respected her decision; she then told met about her own concerns about Dr. C and the desperate situation that led to them offering her a job... I told her that Dr. C was not only slow but that she hadn't learned to balance seeing new clients with finishing up patients that were already in hospital; I also told her about Mr. C still hanging around despite the new policy -- she said she had NO idea it was still going on and that she never thought she'd have to explain "UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES" to a doctor...

Anyway, she said that she was going to talk to Dr. C about what's been going on and then we are going to get together for another doctor's meeting... the manager is seriously limited in terms of what she can do (though she CAN enforce the threat outlined in the announcement of the new policy - first offense you will be written up and warned, 2nd offense is termination of employment); nothing but time and experience can make Dr. C fast enough to keep up with the weekend pace at AUC - my fear is that this pregnancy (yes, she just announced that they're expecting in the fall, coincidentally just about the time her contract is up...) will make her even slower and that will be a nightmare... I'm just praying that either (1) she'll elect to not renew the contract or (2) they won't offer to renew it. That's bad, huh?? But, the truth of the matter is I LOVE my job, but can't stand her...

It's been tough, and it's not getting any better!

2009-02-17T20:46:00.003-05:00

My 10 days straight started last Friday... it's only Tuesday and I'm exhausted. 4 down, 6 to go! This wasn't a very good idea... not only am I working a lot of back-to-back shifts, but we've been busy (which is great, but it means that I can't get any sleep at work, and I'm not getting to nap at home because I have to take care of Baby Girl all day -- don't ask... that's a long story). Tonight is night 5; it's quiet (quick! knock on some wood somewhere) - I have to pump again in 2 hours and then I'm going to bed. I'm worn out.

Baby Girl is, I think, getting sick again. She's been sneezing more than usual and today I had to keep cleaning some crusty schmoo off of her nose. B called tonight after I left for work to ask if I had noticed the rash all down her chest - apparently it's bright red. Well, it wasn't there when I changed her last... she went down for a nap earlier today and woke up with splotchy cheeks - I guess maybe the rash started then?? She wasn't down too long so she didn't get changed when she woke up - then she went down again just before I left... Poor little girl! I sure hope she doesn't end up with the skin issues (eczema) like Little Man has. I hope it's just more "new baby rash"!

Anyway... I can't wait for this week to be over. Never again will I agree to do my entire month's worth of shifts back to back! I've been doing SO good going to the gym every day, but right now I can barely function at work; I'm not even attempting to exercise... of course, the exhaustion is killing my appetite; I only ate 1/2 my dinner and I'm stuffed. Maybe something good will come of this after all! LOL

Remind me to just be thankful for the good nights!!

2009-02-07T15:46:00.003-05:00

It seems that Baby Girl alternates bad nights with good ones... the bad ones are usually pretty bad... she goes down for the night about the same time regardless , and for the most part, the first waking is at about the same time, around 2a, but this is where the 2 paths diverge.

On a good night (which, to give her credit, is her "norm"), she will get up again about 5:30a, sleep until 7 or 8a, and go back down for a morning nap by 9:30a. She will also take a midday nap and an afternoon nap. We haven't managed to work in an evening nap, because of her early bedtime, so she tends to get grumpy around 5 or 5:30p, so instead, we created a "bedtime routine" of a bath and some snuggle time! Then, we just vary her bedtime according to her "mood" - she gets put down anywhere between 6:30 and 8p.

On a bad night, once that 2a waking, she is up every 60-120 mins, and she is usually up for the day by about 6a; to compound the problem, she then refuses to nap, except very briefly. She is much fussier, and more demanding, and often times nothing pleases or suits her. It's very frustrating... today has obviously been a "bad day"!!

On a more positive note, she is trying very hard to sit up - when I sit on the bed with her in my lap, leaning back against my legs, she strains and leans forward until she is sitting upright. Of course, her balance isn't well developed, so she wobbles and will fall over unless supported, but she is really progressing!! I'm already amazed at how much she has changed since the original helpless newborn stage. I know I've been through it before, but it's been so long... it's like being a new mom all over again and I am again in awe of the developments that occur during the first year!!

My Super Bowl picks...

2009-02-02T18:26:00.003-05:00

Even though I generally feel that the commercials are the best part of any Super Bowl, last night's game was a good one... and the commercials were a bit lacking, IMHO. There were, however, a few that set me to laughing!!

I loved the Mr & Mrs Potato Head ad for Bridgestone in the first quarter!! I loved that he bounced her lips right down the mountain and then she put on her "angry eyes"!! http://video.aol.com/video/bridgestone-mr-potato-head/2409722

My second quarter favorite was the Grim Reaper ad for H & R Block! http://video.aol.com/video/handr-block-grim-reaper/2409741

The third quarter "award" goes to the Bridgestone Moon Dancers... that was hilarious. http://video.aol.com/video/bridgestone-moon-dancers/2409760

Nothing in the fourth quarter really "moved" me, but I suppose I have to choose something... so I guess it's Coke Zero's sorry take-off of the old classic Mean Joe Green commercial!! http://video.aol.com/video/coca-cola-zero/2409773

Pinch me... I must be dreaming!!

2009-01-31T20:30:00.002-05:00

My sweet baby girl slept through the night (well, just about).... I didn't hear her at all, but B said she stirred and was making noises about 2am, and he figured she'd probably fuss herself back to sleep, BUT since we're leaving this morning to go away for the weekend, he wanted to spend some time with her, so he got up to feed and rock her anyway... but when he put her back down, she slept until 5:30am, and probably would have slept longer if I hadn't been making noises getting ready to leave!! I can't believe that she's come so far in such a short time! From sleeping in our bed and getting up every few hours, to sleeping in her own room and nearly sleeping the entire night!! I'm so proud of her! (as if she's doing this consciously! LOL)

That being said, we're in Macon tonight... we came down (long, long drive, made even longer by the number of cops on the highways -- guess they were all trying to finish off their quotas, it being the end of the month and all -- and the construction zones) for the "North Georgia SMO Get Together" which was primarily Smurfs! It was so great to put a face to the names of the women that I've been chatting, emailing and exchanging things with for the better part of 2 years!! We're heading back home tomorrow morning, so it will be another day wasted in the car, but I am SO glad that we made the trip!!

Baby Girl slept in her own crib!!

2009-01-27T21:46:00.003-05:00

in her own room, all night, for the first time since she was born!!

I put her down sometime around 8:30; she fussed and cried for a bit, and about 9p I nursed her to sleep - and that was that. She got up 3 times during the night, but each time went right back down in the crib and all was well!!

It's strange having our bed back after nearly 10 weeks, with no one to scratch me or pull my hair in the middle of the night!! But, I could get used to this again! Now, if she'll just sleep THROUGH the night! LOL

Just when I thought it was getting better...

2009-01-26T07:39:00.004-05:00

The last 2 nights at work haven't been nearly as bad as Friday was - things have gone pretty smoothly and I was again in love with my job.

And then... (there's always a BUT or an AND THEN, isn't there??) - this older man brought in a blocked cat early this morning (after midnight but before 2am); I sent the tech up front (poor boy) to give him a ballpark figure on cost for treatment and to bring the cat back to me so that it could be treated immediately.... he came back with the cat and said that the owner cussed him... as I iinstructed him, my tech told the man that it would be $400-$600 to treat and the man's response was "what type of God-damned rip off is that?" My tech reminded him that he'd been "nothing but respectful" and the man DID apologize, but still... he asked to speak to me -- okay, fine.

I went up there and he was just RUDE - no other way to describe it. Come to find out - this cat has blocked before. He feeds him a low ash, low magnesium commercial diet because he says the cat won't eat what the vet prescribes- he didn't know the name of the food. He also told me that the cat was on some type of pill every other day, but he didn't know what it was. Again - okay, fine... he made it clear that he wasn't leaving the cat for treatment. He wanted me to just "squeeze him and get the urine out." I had to inform him that this would more likely rupture his bladder than anything else. I told him that I could empty the bladder, but that this wouldn't unblock him, but that it WOULD buy him some time and keep the bladder intact tonight, then he could take the cat to his regular veterinarian in the morning. He agreed to this, but nothing more.

So, we did a cysto... two of the techs held him down and I was able to get over 45cc out of his bladder before he went psycho on us. The remaining bladder was about the size of a golf ball, which I considered to be "safe", so we left it at that. He was told to be at his vet's office when they opened to have the cat treated.

This morning, my overnight tech told me that he called about 5am, and was (go figure) rude and accusing. He demanded to know if we even did anything to his cat; he said, "I thought you unblocked him!! He can't pee!" The tech had to explain what we HAD done because he had refused everything else, and then he accused us of lying about even doing THAT. He said that the cat looked like it was going to die... well, let's think about THAT one.... The cat hasn't been able to urinate in AT LEAST 24 hours, probably longer; the cat is just re-absorbing the toxins that would normally be excreted in the urine. He has had no fluids, he is still blocked; how is he SUPPOSED to feel??

Well, hopefully he'll get him to the veterinarian this morning, and it won't be too late... the world is full of idiots.

On the total flip side -- we had a couple bring in a cat with what I suspect was a saddle thrombus; despite the extremely poor prognosis, they opted to take him up to NCSU CVM just to see if he could be helped. And he was a vicious cat -- a huge orange guy named Wombatt -- but they love him!!

The guy told us that as a New Year's Resolution some years ago, he and his wife decided to save every $5 bill they came across - so he has stacks and stacks of the things at his house. He didn't even blink at the possibility of spending $3000 for the work up at NC State. Good for him!

Bad boys, bad boys...

2009-01-24T20:36:00.002-05:00

whatcha gonna do?? Whatcha gonna do when they come for you?? (imagine a Jamaican accent here...) LOL

Middle Child came to work with me tonight - and Baby Girl as well, but she isn't party to this part of the story - we got here a little early, and fortunately I remember about G's TV debut... he grabbed the controller for the lobby TV and managed to find FOX in time - we got through the annoying intro and then, there was G... Middle Child and I stood in the lobby and laughed as my baby cousin broke bad on the truck thief!! You know, he's cocky all on his own, but having the cameras with him just made him that much worse!

All ribbing aside, I'm proud of him and what he does :)

Last night was horrid and something I hope not to repeat any time soon!!

2009-01-24T07:36:00.005-05:00

I had to work last night, which normally isn't a bad thing; I was in my usual good mood... and then Rocco came in. Rocco was a very nearly 11 year old Rhodesian Ridgeback who had been diagnosed with LS disease several years ago, leaving him requiring assistance to walk, and with proprioceptive deficits in his hindlimbs. He had a 1 week or so incidence of anorexia, had been to the regular vet to have x-rays taken -- they had put him on antibiotics and some other GI meds, which his owners were having great difficulty getting into him. He had eaten and subsequently vomited up some plastic or packaging material. The owner's neighbor is an Army veterinarian, he happens to be the commander of the 248th at Bragg, and a board certified radiologist - he has ultrasounded Rocco at the owner's home today and felt there might be a blockage of some sort present.

He was dehydrated, pale and shocky, his temperature was sub-normal, and his white count was over 80k which was alarming. We delayed surgery for a short while to start fluids and IV antibiotics and then prepped him for an exploratory. He was doing great -- and then just arrested as I was pulling plastic and bits of rice, green beans and some other unidentified stuff out of his stomach. 3 injections of epinephrine - IV, IT and IC - cardiac massage, assisted ventilation -- none of it did any good. His old body was too tired and worn out - and he was gone.

About the same time that Rocco came in, there was an old cat - 17 years old - that came in for "weakness". She was unkempt and dehydrated, her gums were WHITE, her pupils mildly dilated and non-responsive to light, and she had a relatively large (larger than a tennis ball, and slightly football shaped) mass in her caudal abdomen. Her anemia was profound (PCV of 11%). The plan was to do a blood transfusion and try to stabilize the cat so that she could be transferred elsewhere for an ultrasound to determine the origin of the mass. Well, as we were prepping the donor cat for the blood draw, she collapsed and became agonal; the owner opted not to revive her, which was probably wise, given her condition.

And then, this morning... a man brought in a cat that he found some time yesterday; it was cold and unresponsive then, so he put it in his bathroom overnight. Guess what?? It was no better this morning so he brought it in at 6am. He was bradycardic and cyanotic and severely dehydrated with a sub-normal body temperature. We were attempting to stabilize him when he arrested, so quietly that Molly - who was standing right beside him - didn't notice. His "owner" also opted not to revive him.

So, while I don't really feel that any of the losses were my FAULT - they all looked horrible on entry - the night still has left me feeling wiped out and sad... this is the sucky part of what I do.

My cousin is going to be on TV...

2009-01-22T17:05:00.006-05:00

I just got an email from G and T (and my mom also forwarded her copy to me) to let me know that G is going to be on an episode of COPS this weekend! How about that?? My crazy-ass baby cousin gets to be on TV! LOL

Hey everyone!

Well as most of you know, and some of you do not, back in late May to early June, I had a film crew from the TV show COPS riding along with me while on patrol. Well, in their producer’s infinite wisdom, he felt that one of my incidents of fighting crime and suppressing evil deserved some national air time on their show. On the same date, they will be showing another incident that I was involved in, but they were not riding with me on that particular night. They were riding with one of my close friends and co-worker, Raymond. My incident involved a short pursuit of a stolen truck, while Raymond’s involved the arrest of several juveniles that decided to run around and rob several people at gun point over a several hour period. The show will air on Saturday, January 24th at 7:00p.m. central time.

I don’t know everyone’s email that I would like to notify of this, so if I missed someone, please feel free to forward it along to those people you feel would like to see it. I have not had the opportunity to view the video, so hopefully I didn’t make too much of a fool of myself, but I guess that will give everyone new ammunition of things to jack with me about (as if I don’t give all of you enough cause already). My wife is already saying that my ego was big enough, now we will have to move iinto a bigger house!

Hope everyone is doing well!

G

So... one cousin wins the Ace Hardware nation-wide contest -

remember this??

Ace Hardware gives away $1 million store to veteran
May 2007

During its Spring Convention in Las Vegas, Ace Hardware Corp. announced that Gower Talley of Canby, Ore., is the grand prize winner of the Dream Ace[SM] Contest, awarding him the opportunity to own an Ace Hardware store in Houston valued at $1 million Following presentations by the two contest finalists, Talley and Frank Ali of Jackson, N.J., Ace retailers attending the annual Ace Hardware Convention in Las Vegas participated in a live vote to determine the winner. "We are thrilled to welcome Gower into our Ace family of entrepreneurs," said Ray Griffith, president and CEO of Ace Hardware Corp. "Each of our stores is independently owned and operated and the Dream Ace Contest has provided us the opportunity to shine a light on this fact as well as two qualities that are at the heart of Ace Hardware and our store owners--entrepreneurialism and helpfulness."

The whole article can be found here http://http//findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_hb4728/is_/ai_n29344792

now another cousin is on COPS... what's next for our family??

We're having a "Snow Day" here!!

2009-01-20T09:52:00.005-05:00

Our manager called me yesterday to tell me that AUC was going onto an "inclement weather" schedule, (we were so busy this weekend that I hadn't kept up with any current events; had NO idea that a storm, much less SNOW, was coming!!); it just means that we'll be open during the day on Tuesday and Wednesday. Dr. S is out of town and she wanted to see if I could (and would) pick up either one or both of the shifts... of course, at 1.5 times "normal" shift rate, I'm coming in!! We're trying to come up with a huge down payment for the new house we want to build, so I'm all about making any money I can!

I got up early, because I was planning on leaving out early just in case the weather was bad (though last night they predicted that the snow would start this morning), and there was already between 2 and 3 inches on the ground on P'hurst!! The driving wasn't too bad though, because the plows had gotten started even earlier - they'd even plowed my street by the time I had to leave.

This county wasn't bad at all and I was able to drive an easy 40-45mph; they hadn't plowed over towards F'ville yet because the storm really hadn't hit and I encountered a few slippery patches on 690 going through the reservation, but nothing major -- I slowed down to 25 or 30mph until I passed through those areas and all was fine. I was never in danger of actually hitting anything or anyone, or even of going off the road into the ditches. All of the "accidents" that I saw -- including the upside-down Jeep -- were single car; e.g. idiots trying to go too fast. So, I just took it nice and slow.

Now, when I hit Bragg Blvd, just outside of Spring Lake, apparently the storm hit then too and visibility was reduced to about 1 block. Again, I would have been fine, except for the morons -- the roads were covered in new snow, so it wasn't slippery at all, and a speed of about 45mph was safe, but the fools driving 15mph caused the problems!! It took me nearly 2 hrs to get here, but I made it safely with only minimal sliding about... I'm working the day shift tomorrow as well, so I'm not going home; management is going to get me a hotel room right down the road.

Baby Girl is with me because I'd already decided not to come home between shifts (doesn't make any sense when you only have 11-12 hrs and the drive takes 2hrs each way...); she's currently crashed, sound asleep on the doctor's bed (her preferred "wake" time is about 10am these days)!! I also think she's still feeling the effects of her vaccinations from yesterday - hopefully she won't be TOO cranky!

I don't expect that we'll be too busy given the weather, though we have had a couple of animals already show up, especially as it's still snowing pretty hard -- and this IS North Carolina (we don't get enough snow here to know how to deal with it!); I have a feeling that, as the day wears on, it will take a pretty big emergency for people to actually come out, but that's fine. I brought Baby Girl, I brought books, I brought DVDs and a player -- I can amuse myself today!

I admit it.... I screwed up!!

2009-01-15T21:34:00.002-05:00

I have had some dairy products these last few days -- albeit in what I thought were very small amounts -- and she has colicked now 2 nights in a row!! When her little voice rises up in that shrill scream, and her face is all pinched, I just want to cry because I'm positive that I have done this to her! I've also noticed, the last 3 days, that it's really stinky again when she passes gas... it HAS to be the dairy. So, now it's back to strict avoidance!

Of course, what makes me mad at myself is that dairy is the most likely culprit and I intended to leave it 'til last to try... but I am weak and had some cheese (bad mommy!) - well, I learned my lesson the hard way, and at the expense of my precious baby girl's tummy.... and dairy is now completely out of my diet until I stop breast feeding for good.

Trying to get "back to normal"

2009-01-11T18:35:00.006-05:00

This is the end of my first week at work, and I finished up with 2 day shifts this weekend - poor B nearly melted down Saturday as I left at 7am and got home about 10pm... Baby Girl has been terribly fussy and refuses to nap or be put down - and he is frustrated with the restrictions he felt yesterday. His rant last night, honestly, left me in tears and it broke my heart to think that he was less than totally in love with our baby girl. I reluctantly left this morning for work, and shortly after I arrived I got a text message from him that read "I apologize for making you unhappy--not my intent--just feeling a little frustration--it'll be alright--Doodles makes me happy--I love you." And that made me cry, again...

I know that this is all new to him; it's new *again* to me, but maybe women just handle it better. I get off work in another 90 minutes and don't have to work again until next weekend, so I will be spending the better part of this upcoming week working on getting Baby Girl on a schedule, for B's sake as well as my own. It's wearing me down, too; I just handle it better.

I ordered a couple of new books aimed at "teaching" babies to sleep at night; I got one that my friend Major Smurf says saved her in regards to her baby boy... I hope that it has some helpful hints as I'm not all that creative at this. I'm coming to believe that baby girls are just different from baby boys, as my sister and friends all seem to report that they were able to schedule their sons, but no so much their daughters... makes me wonder.

Regardless, I know that this will pass and, eventually, she will sleep in her own bed and she will sleep through the night - it's just a matter of whenthat will occur!!

On another front entirely, I hired TC as a personal trainer and have had 2 "sessions" with her so far. Today I hurt like hell and can't quite straighten my arms out completely!! I made the serious mistake of telling her that the last session didn't leave me feeling very "worked out"! I am making a concerted effort to make it to the gym now, focusing on cardio for weight loss, and doing a little strength training as well. I signed up for the "Biggest Winner" thing at the gym also - you pay $10 to join and there are weekly weigh-ins. For me, it's not about losing the most weight - I'm sure there are people who need to lose much more than the 20# that I aim to drop - it's about accountability... I don't want to weigh in and have GAINED weight, so I figure that this will help me to stick to the diet and exercise plan. First weigh in is Friday...

Back to work, on the hunt, and a little good news

2009-01-06T11:43:00.007-05:00

Last night was my first night back at work and, as much as I dreaded actually having to go in, I was in a fantastic mood when I pulled up into the parking lot. I had a great time, truth be told, though I was missing Baby Girl something fierce!! We were steady but not crazy busy, which was a relief because I've been out of this for a while! A nice re-introduction, if I do say so!

I told the girls that my New Year's Resolution was to be pleasant, cheery and helpful to everyone, regardless of how stupid they are or how much they may irritate me; I want every person to hang up the phone or leave the clinic thinking "Wow, she was really NICE!" Well, that sent the girls into regales of laughter and starting them taking bets as to when I was going to really 'be back' - to my usual bitchy self, that is!

I did have one client this morning at 2am who truly tested me, but I maintained and wasn't at all contemptous of her (except mildly, and primarily in my mind, when I compared her IQ to that of a box of rocks). The one time I answered the phone, I gave all sorts of free helpful advice which you know isn't the norm for me... but it made me feel good that she kept saying, "oh, THANK YOU so much! I never would have thought about that!" or "you've really helped me and I appreciate it so much!" Who knows?? Maybe I'll be able to pull this off after all!

On another front.... we're house hunting... hoping to be putting the house on the market pretty soon, I think. I feel a bit frantic about it all, because we HAVE to sell this house to move, but we really NEED to have somewhere to go before we sell this house - so how do you do that??

I went out looking at houses on Sunday; didn't really find anything to write home about. B and I had gone up to the Vanderbilt place on Saturday and worked out the modifications for the house we're interested in; that got me really fired up again about building... and I started really looking for land.

Then today I found a GORGEOUS house (brand new) in Foxfire and a wonderful historic place (build in 1850 I believe, currently being used as a B & B so it's been updated) in Carthage that I want to see.... now I feel wishy-washy again. I guess we're just going to have to keep looking at what's available, put our house on the market and just trust that the two event (selling and buying or selling and building) will fall into place. I do like to think that things work out the way they're supposed to - I figure if I find the "perfect" land first, then we're supposed to build; if I find the "perfect" house, then we're supposed to buy. That's the theory I'm operating under at any rate!!

So... my good news is that I have begun breast feeding again and (so far) Baby Girl is doing great! She hasn't had a single episode of colic since we took her off the breast milk last week. She was solely on formula for 2 days while I put myself on a strict diet, and she has done fine since I started nursing her again. My milk supply, however... well, it's pathetic, so now I'm working on increasing that. She has had a little gas, but it's pretty mild and doesn't have that horrible stink that she had developed, so I'm pleased thus far!! Now, if I can only produce more milk!!

M did mention something last week that I think might be the root of my problem... fairly early on, when Baby Girl was only 10-12 days old, she wasn't getting enough from me, so we started supplementing, which made sense at the time, right?? I mean, your baby is hungry, you aren't making enough milk, you give her a bottle.... seems logical, BUT... what that does is take away from stimulation (a hungry baby nurses more often), virtually telling your body that it's producing enough. So, it's a viscious cycle... the baby needs more, so you supplement more and thus produce less.

My plan now is to nurse her whenever she wants to feed, even if I have to follow up with a bottle - just to get the frequent stimulation. If she is sleeping, or if I'm working, then every 1-2 hrs I am going to pump for 5 mins or so, just (again) for the stimulation. We'll see if that helps. The lactation consultant I met with back before I started the induction told me that it's not important to empty the breasts every time and that frequency is more important than length of time. She ought to know, right?? Well, keep you fingers crossed for me! I knew I wanted to breast feed Baby Girl, but didn't realize how badly I wanted it until it was taken away from me!!

The end of the breast feeding

2009-01-02T08:38:00.004-05:00

It was disappointing enough when I realized that all my work towards lacatation wasn't going to produce enough milk to sustain our daughter; then an additional insult when I had to add formula to supplement her... now it seems that we are going to have to take her off breast milk entirely as she appears to be reacting negatively to it.

Yesterday we decided to go solely with the lactose-free formula; lo and behold, there was no more gas and that terrible odor that accompanied her passing gas (she rivaled her brothers on that!) was also completely gone. I also noticed that she was hardly spitting up at all after her feedings, which was another pretty remarkable change. For only the 3rd night in the last month, she did NOT colic last night -- UNTIL I nursed her.

She is still pretty congested and was fussy (though not colicky) and restless yesterday evening; she woke up about 5pm and maybe B just kept her up too long, but she would not go down for another nap. After multiple crying bouts in the crib, we turned to holding her, even fed her again as it had been over 2 hrs from her last feeding - she would fall asleep in our arms, but wake up crying again soon after she was laid down.

I finally decided to go ahead and nurse her - and she fell right asleep, though again she woke up shortly after I put her down! And to add insult to injury... about 30 mins after I nursed her, she had an episode of colic that made both of us cry!! She was also much more gassy throughout the night!

The only conclusion that I can draw from this is that she IS lactose-intolerant, or reacting otherwise to some component of the breast milk... she does it every time she gets breast milk, whether it's mine or M's (though she does spit up much more with M's). M volunteered to keep a food journal and track Baby Girl's reactions, but... unless there is something that she eats ALL the time, thus meaning it's unlikely that she'd give it up just to be able to pump... I think maybe it's a basic component of the breast milk that won't be eliminated by simply changing diet - like lactose...

So, today it's back to strictly lactose-free formula and we'll see how she does. She's fussy this morning, but she had a rough night and woke with a nose full of mucous!! Hopefully her day will improve!

I start with my trainer at the gym this morning; first thing is an evaluation to see just how much weight I've really gained (and thus how much I need to lose)! I've been doing really good so far... I've been to the gym 3 of the last 4 days and have been eating pretty clean (except for the ice cream last night- the boys and I made chocolate ice cream and I did have a small amount - but only about 1/3 of what I might have "normally" eaten!). I feel like I've gained more weight - which makes no sense - but I don't know what to do to get rid of it!! Being 40 makes it SO much more difficult!!

Facing reality

2009-01-01T19:44:00.003-05:00

I guess I finally need to admit that this induction of lactation hasn't gone exactly as desired.... yes, I managed to produce a fair amount of milk, but nowhere near the amount needed to sustain Baby Girl. And, post birth, I have reached levels of exhaustion and stress that I haven't experienced in a very long time - two factors that exert a very negative effect on production of breast milk - so that my supply has actually decreased since her birth. My breasts hardly ever feel "full" anymore, though they will leak a little if I go too long without nursing or pumping...

Anyway, she's been so gassy and has been colicking every single night; we're using lactose-free formula mixed with breast milk and it's made no difference whatsoever. Today we're on formula alone to see if the breast milk is the contributing factor - in another day or so, we'll reevaluate and make a decision. I want to keep her on breast milk, but if it's going to affect her negatively, then... we have to do what's best for her.

Today she did well, napping in her crib for good lengths of time; tonight she is "fussy" or cranky - guess this is "her time" to be fussy... she is tired but absolutely refusing to go to sleep. Hopefully she'll give up soon... I hate to hear her cry.

The cold seems to be going away; not nearly as much mucous as the last few days, so that's a good thing. We'll get through this one way or the other...

She's sick, sick, sick

2008-12-31T20:16:00.002-05:00

Well, Baby Girl is sick for the first time... she's been increasingly congested over the last few days and running a very low grade fever - always under 100, so no terrible ocncern - we keep her on infant Tylenol every 8-12 hrs...

Anyway, Monday night was rough, rough, rough; she was SO congested and really having trouble breathing! I was actually worried enough to consider taking her to the ER, but we got her to sleep and her breathing seemed to ease - though I COULD feel vibrations in her chest that I hoped were just referred from her upper airways... she's also coughing up some mucous, which is disconcerting for her!

We made it through the night and I called the pediatrician first thing yesterday morning and they had me bring her in. Much to my relief, the doc said her lungs were clear!! They did a blood count - had to stick her little finger and get a tube full of blood - and said it looked like a viral infection. Could be RSV, but that usually comes with a runny nose, which she definitely hasn't had. We decided to treat symptomatically and monitor her, then if her symptoms increase, we'll have to go to the hospital for an RSV test. I'm supposed to monitor her breathing rate and effort and call if she gets worse - or go into the ER if it's the middle of the night. Hopefully it won't come to that!!

All of our scheduling efforts have gone to pot as she is "requiring" additional attention; we're back to refusing to sleep unless being held, but with her being so sick, we don't feel that we can really put her down and let her cry - that really increases her mucous also!! Guess we'll have to start completely over once this illness passes!! Oh, joy...

Of course, there's so little you can treat an infant with - infant Tylenol for the fever, saline nose drops and bulb suction for the mucous; luckily she's kept her appetite so that's been no trouble! Little heifer has gained nearly 2 lbs in the last 2 weeks!!

Hopefully this will pass soon, before it kills US!

Ugh! I feel awful!

2008-12-27T09:55:00.003-05:00

Well, I am officially sick - whether I have what B has been fighting or something totally different, I feel awful. I'd been getting more and more congested over the last few days and then it seemed to hit me yesterday morning full force - severe congestion, sinus headache, cough, aches, chills.... I spent pretty much all day in bed.

Last night I was hardlly able to care for Baby Girl and B had to get up and help me every time she woke up... this morning he's a little out of sorts because he didn't get his requisite 6 hrs of uninterrupted sleep. For some strange reason, I feel a little bad about that, though I know that I shouldn't because I haven't had more than 3 hrs of continuous sleep in over 5 weeks now!!

She's been doing pretty well with the scheduling so far - she still wants to go right to sleep after eating, so we have to work to keep her awake, and she still cries when we put her down for a nap, but the duration and intensity are decreasing, so that's good. I guess she's going to be on the long end of the "average time it takes to retrain a baby"! Today is day 3 and we still have a ways to go...

Wish I had gotten this book months ago!!

2008-12-25T21:54:00.003-05:00

So, I went for an acupuncture appointment last Friday and was telling S how I'm totally worn down and how my milk supply is waning.... and she recommended that I get a book called Baby Wise and follow the suggestions to "schedule" Baby Girl so that she will be more predictable and maybe I can get some rest. I couldn't find it locally, had to order it from Amazon, but it finally arrived... it was easy to read and it felt as though they were talking about ME when they were describing the pitfalls of baby-directed feeding schedules, which we are definitely on!! Given that we were going to my mother's for Christmas Eve, we decided to wait until today to do anything about scheduling her - being realistic that this isn't going to be easy...

We started this morning - she is on a 2-1/2 hr schedule, the time being measured from the beginning of one feeding to the beginning of the next; the routine is feeding - playtime/awake time - nap time. She refused to nap much at all today - spent a good part of the nap time crying, though we never let her get hysterical. If she cried for more than 10 minutes, one of us would pick her up, and love on her until she was nice and calm, then lay her back down. She would then nap, but only for a short time. I knew she had to be getting exhausted...

After her 5pm feeding, we had our "awake time" and then went for naptime about 6pm; after 10 minutes of crying, I comforted her and decided to swaddle her - something that we quit doing when she was about 1 wk old - wouldn't you know it, she went straight to sleep when I put her back in her crib and slept for 3 hours!! I had to wake her up to feed her at 9pm!! And even then, she never opened her eyes - she nursed and went right back to sleep. She's stirring now and squeaking, so she may get back up - we'll see... Hopefully today was the worst and tomorrow will only get easier!!

Guess I should comment on Christmas... we did the family Christmas Eve gift exchange at Mom and Dad's house. The boys got some toys and money, First Born mostly got clothes for his upcoming job, which was fine with him. He got his iPhone and that's the only thing he really wanted anyway - he's SO low maintenance, it's crazy... I got the last wise man for my Lladro nativity (!!) and a few other small things; M made us a dinner in a basket - shrimp cocktail, filet, twice-baked red potatoes, asparagus and chocolate cake - we had that tonight and it was wonderful!! Gama gave us $10,000!! I was NOT expecting that! (As a side note, we discussed it this morning and decided to put it into a "house fund" - we're going to look for some land and go ahead and purchase it, with the plan of building that house we've been contemplating within the next year or so. It all depends on the market, of course, because we still do have to sell this house.)

Last night was rough, and I slept precious little, so B took Baby Girl out of the room shortly before 7am so I could take a nap; he woke me at 9 -- the kids were chomping at the bit to get the gifts open. Actually, I think they were pretty patient, all things considered!

We opened the gifts, emptied the stockings and the boys took off to play video games! I had to force them to shut down at 11:45 so they could go to their dad's house! Guess it was a success. I'm just glad it's over!

The Biltmore

2008-12-23T00:28:00.002-05:00

We went up to Asheville this morning to go to the Biltmore House; we did the daytime tour and then returned at 10pm to do the Candlelight tour - honestly I didn't realize it was the exact same tour but with the Christmas lights turned on... don't know what I expected, but... anyway, the kids seemed to enjoy it. I took my boys and T - only Middle Child and I had ever been there before!!

Because it's such a long drive, we stayed the night in Asheville and will head back home tomorrow morning. The boys have been a bit out of control lately - guess it's that pre-Christmas crap that mom always complained about. There are days I could just twist their little heads off! But, I love 'em anyway!

Our baby girl is getting SO big!!

2008-12-18T00:33:00.004-05:00

We had a check-up today; Dr. R didn't tell me to bring her in, but I wanted the PDA evaluated and wanted to see how she was growing. She's up to 9 lbs 8.8 oz and has grown 2 inches (measuring 21.5" today)!!

Baby Girl (aka Squeaker) made a huge mess there in the doctor's office today - she had a BM in the waiting room, accompanied as usual by a lot of gas. I knew we'd be called back soon and that I would have to undress her, so I didn't bother changing her right then. When we got into the room, I set about to undressing her (she was pretty princess, super cute in a pink dress and little tennies) and my hand slid into something warm and gooshy... yep, that BM had blown up her back, almost all the way to her neck!!

So, I strip her down and she coats the paper on the exam table with poop - and I pull out the baby wipes and start giving her a mini bath (and of course she had had a REAL bath this moring as well!!); I get her all cleaned up and move her onto a clean section of paper while I pull the "emergency clothes" out of the diaper bag - and she PEES!! Just like when we were at M's for her first pics... must have been at least a half cup of urine!! It runs all over the table and down onto the floor - and I just started laughing... what else was there to do??

I finally get her diapered and the nurse returns to clean up the mess. I was just mortified!! Now I know how my clients feel when their dogs pee and poop on my clinic floors!!

Everything checked out fine though - her heart sounded good, she has a tiny bit of sebhorrhea (cradle cap) in her eyebrows and a light sprinkling of baby acne, but otherwise looks perfect - she ended up getting her first hepatitis shot today as well. She was lying on the exam table and the nurse stuck her - her eyes got huge and then she screwed up her face and SCREAMED! Just once... I picked her up and it was over... I hope she does that well for her next set of shots!!

Time for some "tough love"

2008-12-13T16:10:00.004-05:00

Well, sad to say, that the "trend" of good sleeping did NOT last. In fact, I think it lasted just that one day! LOL

We have had a series of rather rough days -- there has been a lot of gas involved, my poor baby! I've started giving Baby Girl a dose of Mylicon every time I feed her and she hasn't had an episode of colic since, for which I am SO thankful!! (thanks much, K, for the advice!!)

However... she is still sleeping in our bed, which means that I'm only half asleep at any given time; add to that the fact that she wakes up every 90-120 minutes, and you can understand why I'm so beat. I found out yesterday that even holding a coherent conversation is a real challenge!!

Ah, well... this too shall pass....

ETA - I totally forgot to explain the title of this post - if THAT doesn't speak to my state of mind, nothing does!!

I've finally decided that Baby Girl will just HAVE to take her naps in her own bed, as opposed to on my chest or in my arms - I have to be able to get things done while she's sleeping!! And, if that means that she has to cry, then so be it. I'll be monitoring her, and can step in if it gets out of hand, but hopefully she'll just cry herself back to sleep without getting hysterical!! I figured that I'll just set time limits for her naps and she will NOT be getting up before that time has been reached.

Now, if I can just get B to stop ruining my efforts!! He was gone all day yesterday and came home after dinner time; I put Baby Girl down and she was quiet for a while, then started to fuss - SO HE FREAKIN' PICKED HER RIGHT UP!! Which wouldn't have been as aggravating if he hadn't lectured me yesterday morning about how I need to just LET HER CRY so I can get things done!! So, I worked all day at this, and he walks in and confirms that crying DOES get you picked right up. Way to go, Daddy! I may kill him yet...

We had a good night!!

2008-12-05T22:04:00.004-05:00

Please, God, let this be the beginning of a trend!!

Baby Girl actually SLEPT for more than 15 minutes last night!! In fact, I woke up (or perhaps it would be a bit more accurate for me to say that my boobs woke me up) last night and realized that she'd been sleeping for over 3 hrs; I tried to wake her to eat and had quite a time of it!! She nursed for a couple of minutes and immediately went back to sleep for another 2 hrs!! I got up at 5:30 this morning to get ready to leave for the drill meet in Myrtle Beach and I WAS NOT EXHAUSTED!! Oh, this could be the start of something be-u-ti-ful!!

On a sad note... I did have to go over to K's house and put Dutchess to sleep last night :( Poor kitty... K took it with her usual mix of tears and laughter! And, thankfully, her friend J was there to help lend support (and to dig the grave one-handedly, as she'd just recently had shoulder surgery - let me say, THAT was impressive!!)

Does exhaustion eventually become a way of life??

2008-12-02T23:55:00.009-05:00

So much for Baby Girl sleeping in the Pack 'n Play - that's over and done with, at least for now. Last night was another rough one, though there was no colic involved. She was just restless and fussy, refusing to be laid down - though I did eventually get her off of my chest by lying on my side to nurse her. Of course, then I was stuck in that position which wreaked havoc with my hips and lower back! I know she can't help it - what an adjustment she's had to make from her life inside the womb to this one out here...

Her favorite sleeping position is the one she's in right now - she likes to nurse until she falls asleep then she'll pull back and lay her head on my breast, just above the nipple. She makes frequent noises (we call her "squeaker") and such varied facial expressions (scowls, smiles, pouts)... I just love to watch her. She's so totally beautiful that I hate to move her... but it's midnight and I need to get a little sleep before I have to get the boys up and ready for school.

This would be her 2nd favorite position --

The Case of the Disappearing Colic

2008-12-01T12:06:00.003-05:00

I feel a little bit like Encyclopedia Brown (remember him from your juvenile reading days??)...

Anyway, we had our first go-round (dare I be naive enough to hope it was also our last?) with colic last night. Baby Girl was sleeping peacefully - in her Pack 'n Play might I add (we've been fairly successful with the transition thus far) - and became increasingly restless and fussy about 9:30pm. I gave her a while to settle down and when it became obvious that wasn't going to happen, I picked her up. She was bunching her legs up and rooting with a desperation that I hadn't seen before. Over the next 30 minutes or so, her actions became more frantic and she ended up with that tearless screaming that is unique to very young infants. I did everything I could think of... let her suckle, bicycled her legs, tried to massage her very tight belly (though this only seemed to cause her more pain); I rubbed her back, jiggled and patted her, but could only soothe her intermittently.

Fast-forward to midnight... we're still at it. I'm relatively certain that it's only colic, but the frantic cries of my sweet daughter are breaking my heart, and I'm contemplating either paging the pediatrician or making a quick run to the emergency room, just for reassurance - because my education has taught me that many things can cause colic... yes, it could have been the brussel sprouts that I ate at my grandmother's house Saturday night, but it could be something more, however unlikely - intestinal intussusception, hernia entrapment, appendicitis, intestinal blockage, etc., etc.

B slept through most of the episode, though I'm not sure how he managed to tune out the screams - but just before midight I woke him to watch her so I could go and get the Mylicon drops, as I was desperate to try anything that might work. B was so distressed by her state that he went online and paid $24 for a 20-page E-book full of mostly useless information about colic, what you can do to alleviate symptoms and suggestions to prevent recurrence. I guess he felt the need to do something to help his daughter...

So I am holding my writhing child, and I am contemplating the various scenarios, and their liklihood of occurrence, and... it just... stops. As suddenly as it began, it is gone - and my sweet baby girl is relaxed and comfortable again, though she is now exhausted. So I snuggle her up against me - no way am I putting her back in her bed tonight - and we finally go to sleep, and she doesn't wake again until nearly 4 hours later.

I cared for her the rest of the nght, as I usually do, and about 6:30 this morning, B took her out to the living room so that I could sleep a bit... I finally dragged myself out of bed at 10am. Baby Girl seems back to her usual sweet self this morning... thanks be to God!!

And, just in case it was the brussel sprouts (because I had them again last night), I pumped this morning and then poured 6 ounces of possibly tainted "liquid gold" down the drain. Baby Girl will have to make due with bottles for the next several hours, and I will be much more particular about what crosses my lips as long as I am still breastfeeding my baby girl.

Ah.... so THIS is what exhaustion feels like!!

2008-11-27T22:38:00.005-05:00

I'd almost forgotten! LOL

So... my baby girl is a GREAT sleeper, but she wants to sleep ON TOP OF YOU!! The moment she's put down, she wakes up and starts fussing. So the options are (1) let her sleep on my stomach/chest or (2) plan on being up most of the night. Of course, letting her sleep on me isn't a solution in and of itself because I'm paranoid that I'll accidentally hold her too tight or smush her face into my chest or the covers - so I end up being awake anyway.

In general, B falls asleep pretty early, leaving me to deal with Baby Girl; he gets up early, too and usually takes over with her about 5am - but that doesn't leave ME much time to sleep. He seems to nearly always get his requisite 6 hrs, but I'm lucky if I can get 2 or 3 that are continuous. We're going to have to have a discussion about this soon because I'm too tired to do anything except care for Baby Girl, and that's just not fair. Especially as he still expects me to clean the house, plan & cook meals and do the majority of the childcare.

Regardless of how tired I am, I sure am loving having her here!! She really IS a good baby - she just wants to be held all the time - I've got to find the solution to that...

Annelise is here!

2008-11-19T21:52:00.009-05:00

I'm far too tired to write anything original - I've been up since 3am and it's now nearly 10pm; so I am going to reproduce my "canned" description of the day's events...

Suffice it to say that I am in love again, I am as happy as I can be, and am eternally grateful -

Well, she's finally here - we were wondering if she'd make it by lunch time, and she did, but just barely!! We got to the hospital about 6am, they checked M in, drew blood, hooked up her IV and started the pitocin drip at 6ml/hr; they upped the dose by 6ml/hr every 15-20 mins until the hard labor started (about 11am). It was several hours before M really even felt anything, and then she got out of bed and onto one of those big exercise balls, resting her arms/head on the bed for support.

About 11:30, the contractions were pretty serious and M told the nurse that she'd be delivering within a half hour, and that the doc needed to be warned to stick around. Apparently they didn't take her seriously... after all, she'd only done this 3 times previously - how well could she possibly know her own body??

The nurse checked M and she was 5-6 cm and 90% effaced; that was a little disappointing because we were hoping that she'd progressed farther. The contractions kept increasing in strength and coming faster and faster - M was lying on her side, wrapping her hands around the bed rails in a white-knuckled grip (it hurt my heart to see her in so much pain, but there was nothing that I could do - she was at the point that no one could comfort her and she didn't want to be touched) - the contractions were now only 60-90 secs apart... the nurse checked again about 15 mins later and she was 7-8cm and completely thinned out; 10 mins after that she was fully dilated and ready to go.

They told us the doc was on the way back (WTS?!? Didn't we TELL her not to go anywhere??). M was curled on her side and said, "this baby's coming out" - they rolled her onto her back and I could see the Doodle-bops head crowning; as the doc walked in the door, Baby Girl emerged to the level of her eyes; the nurse put her head on top of her head and gently pushed her back IN! WTS?? I was about to "go Jersey" on someone!!

The doc was finally ready and they told M to "give us a push" - Baby Girl shot out in a single contraction and cleared my sister by a good 6"!! Thank God they hadn't had time to disassemble the bed b/c she landed on the end that breaks away!! The doc clamped the cord and let me cut it, which was difficult b/c my hands were shaking so badly!

The placenta wouldn't come out, and the doctor tried to reach up in there (ouch!) and get it, with little luck - she pulled out part of it but it was pretty torn up and macerated - and then my sister's blood pressure dropped to 57/26, which is terribly low, even for her - she got pale and dizzy and started perspiring - next thing we know, they rushed her off to the OR, knocked her out and went in after the placenta.

She seems to be alright now, though she lost a lot of blood - her hematocrit is down from 40 to 27, and she feels dizzy when she stands, but she's alright otherwise; her color is still good and she doesn't look that anemic. Hopefully they'll still let her go home tomorrow

All the kids were here this afternoon - my sister's 3 and my younger 2; they're all in love with Annelise, except for B (my sister's 5yr old) who was more enamoured with the Edible Arrangements than the baby!

Hopefully they'll let us go home tomorrow. I am so in love She's an absolute doll!!

The nursery is done!

2008-11-16T22:51:00.015-05:00

At long last, it is finished!! B did order a rug and that hasn't arrived yet, but I'm not counting that! Here it is (starting at the door and going clockwise around the room) - I just love it!

The changing station/book case

Her wardrobe -- well, part of it anyway!!

Next to the closet, her dresser and the rocker... wish you could see the prints better - they came out pretty nice!!

The window - you can kind of see her chandelier in this one

Still hanging in there...

2008-11-16T03:29:00.003-05:00

This week has been incredibly long and tiring - I've worked every day (starting immediately upon my return from a 4 day drill) and haven't been napping when I get home because I've had so much to do to get caught up on 2 weeks of missed chores and laundry, get the nursery finished, and get the house ready for the Doodle-bops arrival! I framed the 2 larger nursery rhyme prints today and B is supposed to have hung them while I'm at work today - that should be the end of it - now if M would just go into labor! LOL

I can't believe that we're just days away from meeting our daughter!!

One more week

2008-11-10T22:56:00.006-05:00

of work, and then I go on maternity leave!! We had an OB appt today - M measured 38cm, which is amazing since just 7 days ago she measured 34cm!! The doc said everything looks great, and wants to see us back one more time, next Monday... the induction is scheduled for 6am on Wednesday the 19th, though we'd all prefer if the Doodle-bops makes her grand appearance on Sunday or Monday at the latest!! They didn't check M's cervix, but then it doesn't really matter... she'll either go into labor before Wednesday or she won't, and if she doesn't, then we'll induce, and it doesn't much matter what her cervix is doing!!

B started putting it the new wood floors in our bedroom while I was at drill and they look great!! K's friend has been helping him and they were both whipped after working on the floor!! They're supposed to finish it up this Wednesday.

Having been gone nearly 2 weeks, I am WAY behind on my cleaning (because you know B didn't do a damned thing while I was gone except for a few pieces of HIS laundry) and the laundry, but I suppose I'll get caught up in the next couple of weeks. I have a lot of other things to do this week - and B told me not to bother getting into the cleaning too heavy right now, until they finish the floors anyway, because they're making a dusty mess with that. I have a few things left to buy before the Doodle-bops arrives, and a little more to do in her room - but we're very nearly there!!

Truth be told, I can't wait for her to get here!! I can't believe that we're so close! I can't believe that all of this started just about 2 years ago!! Amazing... that's all I can say.

Catching up

2008-11-06T23:04:00.007-05:00

I did end up going on the tour of the USS Midway after all - Wednesday afternoon; it was very interesting - not sure how G could stand living on board one of those things for 5 years!! But, very cool nonetheless... a veritable floating city to be sure.

I also got to hang out with Cheer a little more, and Sweetheart came along as well; we ended up sitting at Starbucks, just chatting; Cheer dropped me back at my hotel at about 7pm and I went to bed shortly thereafter - I was SO bushed!!

My plane left at 9:45am Tuesday morning; the flights were booked which was unpleasant enough, but then I had 2 obnoxious kids and their apathetic mother sitting in the row in front of me on the flight from Dallas to RDU, which was damn near unbearable. I had to ask the woman to ask her daughter to stop slamming back in the seat as it was shaking my tray to hard I couldn't leave the drink on it!! Pathetic, really, what some parents will let kids get away with in public!

We got in about 8:20 and B picked me up, so we got home by about 9:30. He let me sleep in Wednesday morning and I didn't drag out until nearly 10am!! I only had a few hours to pack and pay bills before heading out for drill weekend... 4 more days and I'll be back home - again!

More adventures...

2008-11-01T21:26:00.010-04:00

I got up early today and high-tailed it to the Convention Center as there was an 8am lecture that I wanted to attend. I've been going to the Critical Care series and have really learned some interesting things that I think will help me back at work!!

The lectures ended at mid day and there wasn't much else that caught my attention so I decided to skip out on the rest of the day there and find something more interesting to do - I debated between touring the USS Midway and going to the zoo - the zoo eventually won!!

For all they tout it as "The World Famous San Diego Zoo" it wasn't all THAT fabulous - but I guess, in the end, it's just another zoo - it just happens to be much larger than the NC Zoo, though I don't think it's any bigger than the zoo in Washington DC.

They did have quite the array of animals, though!! From zebras and tigers, to tree kangaroos and African hyraxes -

and I guess I have to say that they do have the Giant Pandas there... I guess you don't get to see them just anywhere...

Of course, there was a huge line waiting to see the pandas, but it moved pretty quickly and I was able to get in in a reasonable amount of time.

I did get through pretty much the entire zoo in the 3 hrs I was there, but I came back to the hotel with sore feet!! Thank God I wore tennis shoes today!!

I ate dinner downstairs in a restaurant in the hotel lobby, called Elephant and Castle. An English pub type of place - I had sweet potatoe fries and a beef stew that was pretty good. And while the price was inflated San Diego style, it was much more reasonable than last night's foray to the steakhouse!!

The conference

2008-10-31T22:49:00.005-04:00

I walked down to the cruise terminal/ferry landing today and caught a pedi-cab to the Convention Center. I wanted to get an idea of the route involved and see how far it was. It took about 15 mins to get there and it's pretty much a straight shot down Harbor Drive. But, it was worth the $10 this morning!!

I got checked in a little early and went to a bunch of lectures. I actually learned quite a bit in the critical care lectures today, which is cool; I'll be sticking to them primarily, I think. I mean, there are other things that interest me, but I'm trying to stick to what might be relevant at work right now - and while Iguana dermatology might be interesting, it's not something that I'll use in my present position!!

I did walk back from the Convention Center - took me about 35 minutes, but I wasn't hurrying along either. I pass the USS Midway - an aircraft carrier museum - between the hotel and the Convention Center; I stopped today, wanting to go onboard, but it was only an hour until closing and the gal there told me it would really take 2-3 hrs to do the entire tour, so I think I'll go by tomorrow. Might as well check it out since it's so convenient...

I'd like to go to the zoo also, so I need to check the days/hours on that. There are a lot of interesting lectures, but.... I hate to spend my entire trip tied up in lectures. Not that that's likely! LOL

I started to go to the little cafe right down the street and grab a sandwich for dinner, but somehow ended up at Ruth's Chris Steakhouse - never been to one of those - the food was good, but I didn't know that I could spend over $100 for dinner for one!! But, between the filet/lobster tail ($40, but ALL the entrees were over $30), the asparagus ($9, cause the steak comes with NOTHING, it's all a la carte), 2 glasses of wine ($26, well I AM on vacation...), and dessert ($10, see the aforementioned excuse), plus the tip ($20, she was an excellent waitress) I managed to do just that tonight! Yay, me!!

Cheer should be back from Sacramento tomorrow night, so we're planning to get together again before I leave on Tuesday morning. Geez, it's beautiful here - the weather is so mild... and it's that way year round from what I'm hearing. **sigh**

Made it to San Diego

2008-10-30T21:35:00.004-04:00

Of course, I didn't bother to pack Tuesday night; I went to bed about 10:30 or 11 pm and got up to pump at 3am, as usual, and just stayed up - I went up in the attic and got a suitcase, got my clothes out of the dryer and packed in the closet so I'd have some light. I put off my shower until the last minute because I knew I'd wake B.

We left about 5:40 am yesterday to go to the airport and got there just before 7am. My plane left at 7:50, but they let me check my bags at curbside. As usual, I used my military ID as my picture ID, and the guy asked me if I was on orders, which I am, though I didn't have a copy of them with me (B took the printer up to the guys in Durham, so I have no way to print right now). The baggage guy was fine with that and got me a waiver so I didn't have to pay the $15 for the first bag!

There was NO line at Security (note to self... fly American from here on out - they're terminal is MUCH better!!). They did question me briefly about the breast pump, but when I told the guy what it was, he waived me on through!

The flights were long and there was no time to pump between them - I got off the plane in DFW and walked the length of the terminal - actually had to take the skyline tram to get to the next gate - and immediately got back on another plane. As soon as the "Fasten Seat Belt" light went off, I took my pump and headed for the lavatory. I only pumped for 10 mins, just to relieve the discomfort, but there was a line of people waiting for the lav when I came out. Oh, well, sucks to be them!!

The hotel sent a shuttle to get me from the airport; the hotel is adequate, nothing spectacular but the view of the bay is nice.

They're doing a lot of construction on the front, which is annoying, but I guess it's a slow season around here right now, and they're taking advantage of that.

I walked down the sidewalk in front of the bay and decided to call Cheer Smurf. She told me to get on the ferry to Coronado and she would meet me at the dock. We hung out until about 9:30pm, having drinks, walking and talking - she's just like I thought she would be - straight forward and funny as hell!! We had a great time and she drove me back to my hotel where I crashed, since I'd been up for about 22 hrs at that point!!

I slept until nearly 9am this morning, and then Cheer called, wanting to go get breakfast. She picked me up here at the hotel and we went back to Coronado - we ate at a little cafe that served huge omelettes and then walked for a while. The island is SO expensive, but it's absolutely gorgeous - sucks to be her!! LOL

M called while we were hanging out - the OB appt was this afternoon and she is growing again - fundal height was 34cm and all looks great. They scheduled the induction for 6am on Tuesday the 18th, but we're both hoping that the Doodle-bops will choose to arrive on her own either Sunday or Monday. M is about 2cm dilated so far...

Cheer had to go upstate after lunch, and I took a shower here back at the hotel. Sweetheart Smurf came in from inland SD about 5pm and picked me up and we went to this really cool 6-level outdoor mall. We bought candy, I picked up a neat Christmas gift and some baby clothes from Gymboree - not for the Doodle-bops (surprisingly enough) but for Harmony Smurf's little ducky. Sweetheart dropped me back off about 7pm and I went across the street to Anthony's Fish Grotto for dinner.

The conference starts tomorrow at noon so I'll have to find my way to the convention center; I think it's supposed to be about a mile from here... hopefully I won't get lost!! Everyone that knows me knows that I'm directionally challenged!

Another update on the Doodle-bops

2008-10-28T23:01:00.002-04:00

It was really bothering B that the OBs seemed to be blowing off a possible problem with the Doodle-bops, so I called M on last Friday and asked her to go ahead and call Dr D's office to set up a 2nd opinion/consult. They wanted her to let the OB know what we're doing "just so no one feels that their toes are being stepped on" and then they actually asked M if she wanted to talk to the OB first, before scheduling an appointment, just in case the OB had a problem with us getting a 2nd opinion! Un-be-liev-able!! M told her to make the appointment, and that if the OB had an issue with it, as far as she was concerned, they would no longer be her OB!

So, the appointment was for Friday - but they called yesterday and told M that they'd had a cancellation for 5:30 this evening if she wanted to come on in. She took the appointment, probably more for me than anything else, since I leave for California tomorrow.

Of course I drove up - tried to get the thing on DVD but the machine messed up - BUT the important part is that Dr. D said everything looks fine. Her head circumference measured at 35wks, her abdomen was at 36 wks and her femoral length was 33w5d - girl has some short legs right now!! She measured in the 45th percentile (better than the 29th that the OB had us at) and he estimated her current weight at 5#15 with 21 days left to grow before the induction. Now, historically, she has measured right on target with her head and femur and her abdomen has actually been a bit ahead, which tells me that perhaps she is not growing quite as fast, but Dr. D says that everything looks fine, and I do trust his assessment - after all, high risk pregnancy is what he specializes in!!

So, that's a huge relief!! M has another OB appointment on Thursday, and it will be interesting to see if the fundal height has increased. I am so thankful that the time is drawing to a close - don't know how much more of this stress I can handle!! LOL

Of course, I'm not packed - still have laundry to wash before I can consider packing... I think I'm going to go to bed and when I get up for my 3am pumping session, I'll just stay up and get it done then.

And the frustration continues...

2008-10-22T20:33:00.003-04:00

I met M at the OB clinic just after noon today - she was already hooked up to the monitor, but said that she'd only been there for a couple of minutes. The Doodle-bops was doing her usual - moving around a lot, had a killer case of the hiccups there for a while, but still had a heartrate steady in the 130s. The nurse practitioner came in and took a look at the print out - told us that the baby wasn't doing what they wanted.

Of course, I decided to question her about the supposed biophysical profile that was conducted on Friday - oh, yes, she assured me, they DID do a complete biophysical profile. So, I asked what it included - well, for one, they're supposed to watch the baby breathe. We know the tech did NOT do that - though the NP said that she could do that "in a nanosecond". Yeah, right... I'm not buying it. I argued for a while, then gave up. I think the tech took the easy way out and then "fudged" the report - but that's just my opinion.

The NP left for a while and went to check with the OB who saw M at the hospital on Friday night - said that the OB was happy with the ultrasound and said that there was nothing to worry about - that the baby had had 2 decent accelerations on Friday night that she was very happy with and now all is fine. M argued that she couldn't have been all that happy with the results, since she decided that M had to have an ultrasound on Friday - couldn't wait until Monday as she had suggested earlier. Overall, I got the feeling that they are just trying to BS their way out of this and don't want to be bothered further.

So, what are we going to do?? M has another OB appointment next Thursday - if she is not measuring much better (we were at 31-32 cm last week, she needs to be at least 33 or 34 next week, even though we'll be 36 wks), then M is going to call the peri and schedule an appointment with him. I remember my friend saying that her surro's OB wouldn't take the IUGR seriously and she had to switch to a peri to get the care that baby B needed... seems to be a trend. Hopefully that won't be necessary, but we'll do what we have to do. All I really want right now is more frequent monitoring, so that we can stay on top of this and make sure that she doesn't fall any farther behind. The excuse of "girls just measure smaller" doesn't work with us, because M has a daughter and she measured right on target the entire pregnancy. Problem is, they haven't figured out yet that they're not dealing with their average clients here - we're not intimidated by medical degrees, we have medical degrees and just a bit of knowledge between us. But, we'll see what happens next week, I guess... 4 more weeks, 4 more weeks....

Time to cut the bullshit!

2008-10-21T22:55:00.004-04:00

I guess that the OBs think M and I are just plain stupid... M called the OB's office on Monday; the nurse told her that the u/s was fine, so the baby is fine - nothing at all to worry about, apparently. So M asked "what about the fact that she failed the NSTs?" Well, whoever answered the phone didn't now, so she went to ask someone else, and the NP got on the phone... fine, I like her well enough - we've seen her in the office a couple of times.

Well, SHE told M that the Doodle-bops scored 8 of 8 on the biophysical profile. BUT, in our uneducated opinion (supported by my Fiesty Smurf's very educated information), they didn't do a biophysical profile on the baby on Friday. All they did was measurements on her and the fluid levels - they didn't assess her movement, didn't look for fine motor movements, didn't watch her breathe, didn't doppler her cord, didn't do ANY of that. The entire thing took less than 10 minutes. Fiesty, who happens to be an OB nurse working in a fertility clinic, says that a biophysical profile takes a minimum of 30 minutes. So, there's no way that the tech did one!

Anyway, when M persisted, as she is apt to do, they agreed to repeat the NST tomorrow when M gets off work. M is supposed to call me when it's over, but I think that I'm going to drive up and meet her, 'cause I can, and because I'm going to freakin' go ballistic if the Doodle-bops fails AGAIN and they blow it off!

We only have 4 weeks left - THANK GOD - because I don't think I can take much more of this! I know it's a royal P.I.T.A., but if she needs weekly monitoring, then by damn she's going to get it! I do NOT want my daughter born at 5-1/2# because the OB doesn't want to be bothered...

So, I'm a little frustrated

2008-10-20T00:08:00.005-04:00

with my sister's OBs... she hasn't heard word one since the u/s on Friday, and while I know that the Doodle-bops was measuring normally, I still think we need to address the fact that she failed the NSTs on Thursday! An u/s will not assess the functionality of the placenta! No one ever told us when they want to see us back - we made an appointment for 2 wks, but seems to ME that we should be checked before then just to make sure that everything seems ok; I think they should repeat the NST this week, but what do I know??

I talked to M this morning about it. My concern was only escalated by my friend who told me that they started out just like this with her daughter and each week, the baby was farther and farther behind, until they ended up delivering her at 35 weeks!! Great... just great!! Of course, we are inducing in just 4wks & 2 days, so hopefully that's not enough time to develop any serious growth deficiencies... I just want her checked more often; I think, with a concern that the placenta may have aged faster than the Doodle-bops, and thus may be failing, that more frequent monitoring is definitely called for!!

Anyway, M is going to call the doctor's office tomorrow and see what they say... Oh, we're so very close... so very, very close!!

Update on the Doodle-bops

2008-10-18T00:22:00.004-04:00

I got up at 6:30am to pump, as has become the "norm" for me - I was dying... so very tired!! But, I managed to drag out finally - no sense in going back to sleep so I was working on the birth announcements while waiting for the patients to leave. I got a text from B just after 7am - "don't leave your work until I get there - on my way".

He got here shortly after 8 and we headed to Cary (after a stop at Krispy Kreme to get him donuts and coffee). I called M about 8:15; she hadn't heard from the OB's office, and was going to give them a little more time before she called them. She called me back just before 9am - she had called the office at 8:30 or so, and they told her to come on it, they'd work her in before lunch. Uh... no. That went over about as well as you might expect. M persisted and won, as usual, with a 10am appointment time. That fit perfectly with our expected arrival.

We got to the OB's office about 10min before 10am, so I had time to make a quit pit stop; they called us back relatively quickly and we met the ultrasound tech. She didn't seem to understand the relationship between the 3 of us (M, the Doodle-bops and myself), and I was too freaked out to care about enlightening her. I wanted to get right down to business...

The u/s went well; she pointed out what she was looking at for us, did a bunch of measurements and printed a lot of pics for the doctor to review. She measured the Doodle-bops' head and abdominal circumferences as well as the length of her femur - everything measured between 33w5d and 34w2d, so that was a relief - she's growing just fine. She "weighed" in at 4#13oz and the tech said that right now she falls into the 29th percentile, so she's smaller than whatever is considered "normal", but still well above the 10th percentile that is considered indicative of IUGR. She also measured the amniotic fluid and said that the level was normal - apparently IUGR babies tend to have low fluid levels. The placenta is located on the caudal uterine wall, so there's no previa to worry about, and the cord was visible floating in the fluid. Overall, the u/s was "normal".

The tech told us that Dr. M would be reviewing the results today, and would call if there was any cause for concern. I haven't heard anything from M since we left the office, so I assume that she hasn't heard from the doctor. So, I guess that's it...

I fell asleep in the car on the ride home. The combination of stress over a potential problem and a lack of sleep really took a toll on me. I had to pump when we got home, but then crawled right into bed. I had to force myself to get up at 3pm so I could take a shower - B had to drive me back to Fayetteville because we had left my car at AUC.

I came in early and met First Born and T for dinner; I haven't seen the boy in nearly a month, and have really missed him. Both the kids are out on fall break - T's friend brought her to Raleigh on Wednesday and she stayed with First Born through the end of his classes Thursday; they came to F'ville today to hang out with her parents and are heading back to Raleigh tomorrow to go to the fair; then I suppose First Born will be taking T back to Virginia on Sunday. **sigh** It's so hard to let them grow up! **sniff**

Hopefully I'll get some sleep tonight - that little nap today helped but I'm still exhausted! And I have so much to do at home!! B seems to think it's silly how I worry about staying on my cleaning schedule - but then, he does nothing but take out the trash twice a week, so he wouldn't understand. Get behind and it just snowballs... But, I'll have a little extra time to get caught up tomorrow because I don't have to be back in until 8pm. Time to sleep and time to clean - that's just about perfect. :)

Today has totally sucked

2008-10-17T01:13:00.005-04:00

It started out alright, despite the fact that I got less than 3 hrs of sleep last night - finally got rid of my last patient at 3am, pumped and went to bed; back up at 6:30 to pump again... I went by Lowe's on th way home - had to pick up more paint for the nursery and early morning is definitely the best time to go there!! I got home about 9:30, so I could pump yet again (beginning to see a pattern here??)

We had an OB appointment this afternoon and I had to work again tonight, so I had to choose between taking a nap and cleaning - soooo.... I cleaned the dining room, swept the floors, finished painting the nursery and replaced all of the plug ins in the house - not the wisest of choices as it is now 1am and I am STILL up and getting stupid-tired. Anyway, that's not why today has sucked...

We went to the OB appointment - saw Dr. A again... he measured M's fundus at 31cm. Uh, that can't be right... she measured at 32cm last visit, 2 wks ago. I know that measuring fundal height has a certain element of subjectivity to it, but it was Dr. A who measured her the last time as well. Anyway, he measures her, says the measurement is 31cm. Frowns. Consults the chart - measures again - confirms, yep, 31-32cm. Now this is a problem. At a time when the baby should be growing quickly, she shouldn't be measuring the same (or smaller) after 2 weeks. He's sure that it's nothing... probably positional on the part of the Doodle-bops; maybe she's really curled into a ball today. But, he needs to be thorough, needs to reassure all of us that everything is fine. He orders a non-stress test right then and there, tells us he wants an ultrasound tomorrow morning to insure that she's measuring appropriately. All I know is - I want to vomit.

They hook M up to the monitors and we sit and chat. I begin by listening obsessively to the heartbeats, my own heart jumping up into my throat each time the sound is muffled by her movements. As time goes by, I start to relax a little, she *sounds* fine - surely the measurement was a fluke. But, when Dr. A comes in to check the tracing, he doesn't like what he sees.... says that she isn't having sustained accelerations with her movements like she should. He's concerned about the placenta, about whether my daughter is getting adequate oxygen and nutrients. He wants M to drink some juice, see if this makes the baby more responsive. But, M has appointments waiting and has to go back to work - so Dr. A says he'll want her to go to the hospital tonight after work, check in with Dr. S and see what she says - he says that he'll brief her about it beforehand. Of course, M agrees.

She finishes up work and finally talks to Dr. S just after 7pm, calling me once she's off the phone with the doc. Dr. S wants to repeat the NST tonight, see if some sugar in M's bloodstream will normalize the Doodle-bops heartrate - promises to call me when they're done with the testing. I had to go ahead and come into work, so I wait and I wait and I wait for M to call me. Finally at 9:30p, I am totally freaked out and call her cell phone. She's all done, just waiting for her discharge papers so she can leave. Apparently tonight's NST was no better than the one this afternoon - they're still concerned and we're going to have an ultrasound tomorrow morning to have a look around and measure her - see if she is sized appropriately for her gestational age.

Now, I do believe that the Doodle-bops is not in any imminent danger. I did some research on IUGR when I got into work tonight because I know so little about it, and it seems to be primarily a cause for close monitoring, though it can certainly become a reason for early induction. I am praying that neither is necessary, that my daughter was just exceptionally lazy today and that tomorrow she will be measuring at 34wks so we can put the fears to rest.

I can't spend much time thinking about this right now and I can NOT talk about it because each time I do, I start to cry, and I still have to work - still have clients/patients in the clinic now, at 1:30am. So tomorrow morning I will leave out of here and head back to Cary where I will hang out with M until the ultrasound; she didn't get a definite time tonight - the doctor said that she'd get a call in the morning, and since the notice might be short, I see no logic in going back to P'hurst and possibly missing the ultrasound. I just hope I'll have time to go home, take a shower and change before coming back to work tomorrow night. And a nap would be nice...

Thanks to the Mobile Computer Doctors

2008-10-11T20:31:00.003-04:00

it seems I have my photos back! Yay!! For the measley sum of $88 (I'd have paid much, much more than that to recover First Born's graduation pics), I have gotten all of my photos back on my computer - some I didn't even realize that I was missing!! That's the thing about losing 1000+ pictures - how in the hell can you possibly know what's gone?? I am just SO thankful to have located my pics in the pile of mess then had recovered - it has been a royal PITA to sort through all that crap - so much of it was duplicated and a lot of it was junk downloaded off the internet (who knew that your computer pulls down and "saves" every picture on every site you view??), but it was well worth it in the end. **sigh** I feel SO much better now!!

On another front, we have painted the nursery - at least the first coat - the pink sure looks different than the silver! It needs a 2nd coat, but I think it's going to be perfect :) Now I just need to find the stuff to do the closet so that I can sort the baby's clothes and put them up!

Uh... Moo??

2008-10-09T21:24:00.004-04:00

So... I've been following this protocol to induce lactation - which is why I've gained 12 freakin' pounds since the first of June; I have to say that I am way less than pleased with that part of the whole process, because now I have exactly ONE pair of jeans that I can squeeze my newly fattened ass into!! But, I have finally been able to stop the BCPs - that's the good news - so hopefully this hormonally-induced weight gain will soon resolve itself. I have begun to gross myself out with all of the puffiness, so I have put myself on a strict diet to aid in the loss. There are MANY reasons that I hate BCPs!! I avoided most of the moodiness this time around (at least I think I did...) but the weight gain hit me full force.

ANYway... I took my last BCP last Saturday and starting using the breast pump on Sunday afternoon/evening. The first day or so produced just drops - not enough to get out of the cones... now, just 4 short days later... I'm getting half an ounce at each session, and since I'm pumping every 3 hours (don't get me started on that as I am becoming more and more sleep deprived and less and less amused by the idea of inducing lactation) that means that I'm getting about 4 oz/day after only 4 days! I am totaly amazed at what my body has been able to do!! To even think that I would be able to breastfeed the Doodle-bops when I didn't carry her and give birth to her - well, I'm just stunned - and amazed - by my boobs! LOL

M called today to tell me that the appointment time for our OB visit next Thursday was changed and I discovered that seeing her name on the caller ID still makes me want to puke; here we are, just 5-1/2 short weeks from delivery, and I am still terrified that each call brings bad news! I guess it's not going to stop until she delivers Annelise into my hands... of course, that brings a whole new set of worries with it, right??

I've been reading/hearing about SIDs lately and now that has me totally freaked out!! B and I were discussing the best position for a baby to sleep in... when First Born was little, you put them on their tummies; that gradually shifted to sleeping on their sides. Now, the infamous "they" say that you should always put the baby to sleep on his/her back to reduce the risk of SIDs, but that increases the risk of a flat-headed baby... so many things to worry about!!

On a positive note, I finally have all of the boys stuff back in their rooms - at least, the stuff they still want is in there - the rest is still in my living room. But, hopefully a major trip to GoodWill will solve that little problem. I have to work a day shift tomorrow, and I'm hoping that I can talk B into taking the stuff for me tomorrow... of course, he has misplaced the keys to the truck, so maybe not...

Apparently I've become a 'trauma magnet'

2008-10-02T21:57:00.005-04:00

Oh, Lord, it has been CRAZY at work! No more lazy weekday nights where I can "do my own thing." LOL Last night it was non-stop until nearly 4am - on a WEDNESDAY!! What's up with that?? I realize that it was the 3hr unexpected surgery that was responsible for most of the delays - dachshund attacked by a pit bull - little bastard is a land shark (we struggled to get a basket muzzle on him and he kept it on the rest of the night!) and had not 1, but 6 sucking chest wounds. The left lung collapsed at least 3 times, but we somehow managed to close him up and pull him through. Of course, the irony in it is that he WALKED into the clinic but now can hardly sit up... some of that is due to the drugs, but a lot of it is that he is in much more pain now, after the surgical repair, than he was from the attack. And then, after everyone left and I was finally able to lay down, the techs kept waking me up every 30 minute for what were stupid questions... it's THEIR job to answer the phone and field calls; they're not supposed to wak me up every time someone calls! But, both of them are relatively new to this, and this was the first time they were left alone without someone more experienced - and I guess that it was ME that had to pay for that!

End result was I got no sleep and had to sleep most of the day after I got home. Tonight is just steady, but no true crises - yet. I'm still hopeful that I can turn in shortly after midnight so tomorrow won't be as big a waste as today was. The new carpet is in, but the house is still a wreck - there's a lot to do to get it back in order and I just found out today, the baby's crib has shipped, so I've got a ticking clock now as well!!

Right now, I HATE Lowe's

2008-10-01T20:25:00.001-04:00

This whole thing with getting new carpet has been a cluster-fuck from the very beginning!! After much debate, B and I picked out carpet and brought it to the employee - he was supposed to set us up a file in the computer to get the process started. I paid my $35 fee for the measuring and they told me that I would be called within 2 business days to schedule the appointment; after 5 business days, I called Lowe's to inquire about it, because no one had called. So, Lowe's called their installers who called me back relatively quickly just to tell me that he was going out of town for the weekend but had an appointment open on the following Tuesday evening. Alright, that's a little longer than I expected to wait, but fine... well, Tuesday evening's appointment time came and went and the man didn't show up. A bit later, the man's wife called to tell me that he couldn't make it (uh, duh!) and they wanted to reschedule for the following day, when (of course) I had to work and couldn't be there - but I got B to agree to be at home and the rooms were measured.

Fast forward a couple of days - I get a call from Lowe's... they have my measurements in and I just need to come pick out the carpet so they can get me a quote. WTF?!? I already did that... but, apparently, the employee didn't bother to record our carpet choice, so I had to go back up there and find the sample again to get it registered. So, I did this, and we got the quote, agreed to carpet the 3 secondary bedrooms, and ordered/paid for the carpet and install.

About 10 days later, I got a call from the installers to tell me that the carpet was in and they wanted to schedule the install. They had an available crew, the guy told me, on Tuesday the 30th, and they would arrive between 9 and 11am. I verified both the day and the date and checked to be sure that I would be available to be home. I wasn't working, and had no appointments that couldn't be put off, so we were set.

The boys and I started on Saturday with sorting their rooms, boxing their belongings and removing them from the bedrooms, filling up the living room with all sorts of stuff until you couldn't see the TV or sofa any longer! Middle Child was home Monday and Tuesday with the rash, so he was dumped on to help with the final movements and vacuuming. So, 9am came and went, then 10am, then 11am. At 11:30am, I called Lowe's and asked if they were planning on coming; the guy verified my phone number and said that he would contact the installers. At 12:15, I've still heard nothing, so I call Lowe's again... Oh, I'm on the installers schedule for tomorrow, I'm told; they were supposed to call me about it, so the Lowe's guy didn't bother. I threw a FIT! No way did I agree to tomorrow!! I can't be here! So, he says he'll have the installers call immediately - which they did - and I tore that guy a new a$$ also, but in the end, what do you do?? I need/want my carpet and they can't come until tomorrow... I tell the guy that I expect the installers to show up at 9am, not to be dragging in at 11. He says he'll make a notation. Yeah, right...

So, Wednesday morning comes and I'm up early again... 9am comes and goes. At 10:15, I had to leave to go to meet M's accountant (about the sale of the clinic) and to go to the OB appointment. On my way out of town, I call the installers to verify that they are still coming - first the guy says, "oh, yeah, they're still coming" and when I ask when to expect them, he asks my last name. "How can you tell me they're coming to my house when you don't know who I am??" I give him my name, he gets my file and confirms that the installers took my carpet with them when they left that morning.

I get to Cary at 11am and B texts me - "they're still not here". So, I call the installers and get their answering machine; that pisses me off, so I call Lowe's and ream their installation guy and chew his a$$. He says that he'll call the installers, and I call them again as well, this time someone answers. He tells me that the install team should be in SP by now, but he has been unable to reach them. After a few more tense phone calls, they finally show up at 12:15pm.

Now, I'm glad that we have new carpet and can't wait to see it, but I hate Lowe's!

The mystery rash and a HUGE computer blunder...

2008-09-28T21:19:00.009-04:00

So, Middle Child has developed this rather funky rash...

it started around last Sunday or Monday, with a quarter-sized spot on his left wrist. He thought that it was a bug bite or something... then I noticed the marks on the left side of his neck - he told me they were scratches - which I believed until they developed papules/blisters. On Tuesday he was complaining about an itchy spot right above his pubic bone - he had scratched it raw and couldn't seem to leave it alone - so we put some Neosporin on it and covered it with gauze for 2 days. The bumps and itching just kept spreading until it has moved across the left side of his torso, and a little onto the right (really nothing much in the middle...), in his groin and on his upper legs (especially the left), down his left arm and up onto the left side of his face. They are strange little papules, possible with tiny blisters - hard to determine - that seem to be in linear-like clusters. I've talked to M, I've talked to Middle Child, I've looked online and I have no idea what is going on!! Maybe chicken pox, maybe poison ivy, maybe something else... but he has NO other signs - no fever, no inappetance, no malaise, no sore throat, etc. Just the itch and the rash.

It was extremely important to him to be allowed to go to the Drill Meet on Saturday as he made the freshman color guard (that's my baby... right rifle)

and this was going to be 1 of only 2 performances all school year - and really, up to that point, I thought that he'd just gotten into something playing in the woods around M's house on Sunday. A few doses of Benedryl and a couple of Aveeno baths had actually made him look and feel a bit better... So, we went on to Florence, SC early on Saturday morning and spent the better part of the day out in the sun at the meet.

They put on a pretty good performance, though their captain gave an incorrect call or 2 and ran them out of bounds - but they still took 3rd place, so they were all thrilled!! BUT, when we came home, and Middle Child took off his shirt... the rash had intensified and was twice as widespread and irritated as it had been that morning.

So, it's off to the doctor's tomorrow morning to find out what we're dealing with. So far, it is unresponsive to Benedryl (oral or topical), Triamcinolone cream, Aveeno baths and Neosporin - it just keeps spreading and getting worse despite what I've tried. Of course, there may be nothing to do about it - we may just have to let it run its course, but I'd like to know if it's contagious or not...

As for the other topic - the huge computer blunder... well, I was looking for something in my Pictures file - and found something that I wanted to delete - and SOMEHOW I deleted ALL of my pictures! I realized my blunder mid-delete and cancelled it, but still lost something like 2000 photos, many of which I didn't have backed up yet because I had run out of CDs. I went to the recycle bin and chose to "restore all files" but that didn't "fix" it; I don't know if there's a way to restore the system to the way it was a few days ago, but I'm going to call the computer guy who fixed First Born's laptop tomorrow morning and find out if he can do anything to recover what I've lost. I've been in a shitty mood all afternoon because of it - most of the pics were of the boys, our vacations, etc. I'm just praying that they can recover them...

Oh, yeah... M and I are moving ahead with the sale of her clinic; she forwarded the financial details to me because we have to negotiate a selling price before we meet with the accountant on Wednesday. Whew! There's a lot to this business stuff!! LOL

Holy crap! Where did all these clothes come from?!?

2008-09-22T21:07:00.005-04:00

After our foray to the flea market Saturday, where B had the Doodle-bops pink Eagles onesie custom embroidered, I decided to go through her clothes and pull out stuff that I can have embroidered for her. So, I spent something like 2 FREAKIN' HOURS going through all of the clothing that I've accumulated these last few months... OMG!! I had NO idea that I'd bought so much!! I pulled out a few things that I saw stains on today - ick!! - and then some more boy stuff that was in the bottom of the containers, and all of the stuff that I'm not just crazy, mad in love with - and I still have 3 large Rubbermaid containers FULL and a chair full of stuff that I now need to try to sell or give away!! And, wouldn't you know it, I just bought 3 more outfits today! LOL As one of the girls said to me at work Friday night, when she caught me looking at baby clothes listed on SMO - "Doc, you need a 12 step program!"

But, I did get the baby's stuff more compacted so that it will be eaiser to move into the living room when the new carpet comes in (hopefully this week). I also found a dozen or so pieces that I'm going to take to have embroidered, most likely just with her first initial, though I have a couple that I'll either do "Doodle-bops" or her name on.

M and D drove down last night, after I left for work (and B is out of town this week) to pick up the bunks for D's boys. She called me just before I ran through the shower to let me know they were going to come down - so I disassembled the bunk bed and dragged everything out into the living room to make it a little easier for them. When the boys and I got home from school today, I didn't bother to give Little Man a head's up - just let him meander into his room and of course he yells out "where's my bed?!" And I played it up... "huh?? What do you mean? Silly.... etc" So he starts freaking out and I finally go down the hall to his room and when I walk in I hollered "Holy crap! Where's your bed?" Then I started laughing; but it was fun while it lasted!! He thought, just for a minute, that someone had broken in and stolen his beds!!

I'm off for another 8 days - until the 1st - and I have SO much to do!! I need to disassemble and dispose of both of the big computer desks and then the boys and I need to go through their rooms and sort the stuff... especially Little Man, as he has lost his hiding place under the bed! The room looks a bit like a hurricane tore through it right now...