Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Another month has gone by

I'm so tired of the long-distance commuting. I thought that an hour each way was difficult... now I live 200 miles from my job and it just sucks. But, I keep doing it because right now I have no choice. I know, however, that this will eventually end. Eventually...

On a very, very positive note, my ex made the unexpected decision to allow Little Man to move to the beach and live with us! He asked for a more liberal visitation schedule than my attorney had originally offered him and I'm fine with that. I admit that I'm much more understanding about it now... I've been without my boys, for the most part, for over 2 months now and it's much, much harder than I had imagined it would be. It looks like we will not have to go back to court after all. I don't know what prompted this sudden change of direction for him, and neither do I really care. I think that we are all relieved. Especially after First Born told me how "pathetic" it is that his father and I were unable to just sit down together and work this out without resorting to a legal suit. Perhaps he also bitched his father out? I don't suppose I'll ever know, but I'm grateful just the same.

Middle Child told me, yesterday, that he should be a shoe-in for a position of leadership in JROTC next year. He has really matured over the last few months, and I'm so proud of him. It's unbelievable to think that, just 15 short months from now, he'll be a cadet at either Annapolis or VMI! Of course, First Born graduates from college in December!! Can they really be that old?? Can I really be that old?!?

Sunday, April 10, 2011

I feel so.... violated....

I'm working this weekend, day shift, and stayed with my parents Saturday night. They live in a very nice and, I have always thought, safe neighborhood. Last night, when I got home, my mother opened the garage door to let me in; I reached back into my car to grab my fleece in case it was cold in the morning, and went inside. I am not in the habit of locking my car doors.

I have to be at work at 8am, which means that I need to leave at about 7am. I walked out to the car this morning, still tired from the last week and whatever respiratory "thing" I'm suffering through, and as I put my suitcase into the trunk, noticed that my car door was not completely shut. I chastised myself internally for that, thinking more that I could have drained the battery than anything else. I opened the car door and immediately noticed that a pile of papers seemed to be "ruffled" - it appeared on first glance that they were originally sitting on the passenger's seat and had been strewn across the center piece onto the driver's seat. I immediately flashed back to last night when I had grabbed my fleece and thought that I had been in a bit of a hurry to have scattered the pages so carelessly. As I dropped into the driver's seat and gathered up the pages, my next thought was that I hadn't left a pile of papers on the passenger's seat. I turned them over to see what they were - the pages out of the blood draw kit sent to me by Logistics Health. I picked up the FedEx envelope - empty... the shipping box and (empty) blood collection tubes - gone. It was only then that I noticed that my glove box was open, and that the contents of the glove box were divided between the passenger seat and the floor.

I've never been robbed before, never had the dirty hands of an unknown person rifle through my belongings. Thank goodness this is my "long-distance" car - I keep precious little in it. The only things missing were the blood collection kit and my Day Planner. I don't have much of interest (to anyone else) in the Day Planner. I'm just pissed off that someone would steal it. My name and address ARE in there, but I don't figure that someone resorting to digging through parked cars in the dead of night is going to drive over 3 hours to find my house. I'm sure they will flip through my Day Planner looking for a SSN or a credit card number - which they will not find - and then throw the damned thing away. Damn I hate thieves...

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

I hate being sick...

For the first time in a long time, I am actually sick; not just exaggerating symptoms to get out of something that I don't particularly want to do (I never do that! LOL), but actually feeling-like-crap, probably-need-to-seek-professional-medical-attention, S-I-C-K. And it sucks. Of course, being in the medical field, I'm prone to self-medicating, though I haven't really resorted to that this time around, except for the basic OTC cold remedies which do help to ease the symptoms.

I didn't take the APFT this weekend because there's no way I could have passed it feeling like I did - and if I'm going to be flagged, I'd prefer to be flagged for not taking it than for failing it. I had a torture session scheduled at the gym with E on Monday and cancelled that also. Today, most of the pain is gone - the headache, joint and muscle aches - and what's left is primarily respiratory. I'm coughing a lot and my voice is variable (E said I sound like an intercom, whatever that means...). The plan is to be back in the gym by Friday at the latest; this crud had better pass!

My mother is convinced that I'm "always sick" because I don't get enough sleep lately between the drive, the commute, Baby Girl and the move. I'm not "always sick", not even often pretending to feel ill; I AM tired a lot, but that just comes with the territory right now, I think. I'll sleep when I'm dead, right??

Friday, April 1, 2011

What a boring life I lead

We're moved, finally, though most of our belongings are still sitting in boxes in the garage -- I try to unpack as much as I can when I'm home, but I get little help (well, to be honest, I get no help). Baby Girl's room is pretty much done - most of her toys and things are unpacked already. The kitchen is also together - but that's about it. Work is now a 3 hour drive, so I'm gone a lot - don't go home between shifts - and that means I really have NO downtime. I think I'm really wearing out, but don't see any relief in my near future.

This morning I had an "episode" (for lack of a better term) that really freaked me out. I stayed at my parents house last night because I had to bring the boys back after Spring Break and today I had to leave for drill. Anyway, I woke up sometime after 7 and dozed on and off for a while; about 8, I decided to get up and found that I couldn't walk straight. I felt like I was totally drunk, like someone was pulling my head to the side and I literally bounced off the walls from the bed to the toilet and back. I was also intensely nauseous and flopped back into bed where I had what sure felt like "bed spins" from the old days. I got up again at about 10, and felt better but not completely normal. I STILL don't feel "normal" - I'm a little dizzy and feel dull or obtunded, and my neck is hurting. I've been so sore since starting back at the gym - especially with my new trainer, who is a sadist - it's impossible to tell if this is just fall out from a workout or something different. I guess if I experience another episode tomorrow morning, then I'll go to the ER instead of drill. Hopefully the symptoms will just go away and tomorrow I'll feel like my old self.