Friday, October 17, 2008

Today has totally sucked

It started out alright, despite the fact that I got less than 3 hrs of sleep last night - finally got rid of my last patient at 3am, pumped and went to bed; back up at 6:30 to pump again... I went by Lowe's on th way home - had to pick up more paint for the nursery and early morning is definitely the best time to go there!! I got home about 9:30, so I could pump yet again (beginning to see a pattern here??)

We had an OB appointment this afternoon and I had to work again tonight, so I had to choose between taking a nap and cleaning - soooo.... I cleaned the dining room, swept the floors, finished painting the nursery and replaced all of the plug ins in the house - not the wisest of choices as it is now 1am and I am STILL up and getting stupid-tired. Anyway, that's not why today has sucked...

We went to the OB appointment - saw Dr. A again... he measured M's fundus at 31cm. Uh, that can't be right... she measured at 32cm last visit, 2 wks ago. I know that measuring fundal height has a certain element of subjectivity to it, but it was Dr. A who measured her the last time as well. Anyway, he measures her, says the measurement is 31cm. Frowns. Consults the chart - measures again - confirms, yep, 31-32cm. Now this is a problem. At a time when the baby should be growing quickly, she shouldn't be measuring the same (or smaller) after 2 weeks. He's sure that it's nothing... probably positional on the part of the Doodle-bops; maybe she's really curled into a ball today. But, he needs to be thorough, needs to reassure all of us that everything is fine. He orders a non-stress test right then and there, tells us he wants an ultrasound tomorrow morning to insure that she's measuring appropriately. All I know is - I want to vomit.

They hook M up to the monitors and we sit and chat. I begin by listening obsessively to the heartbeats, my own heart jumping up into my throat each time the sound is muffled by her movements. As time goes by, I start to relax a little, she *sounds* fine - surely the measurement was a fluke. But, when Dr. A comes in to check the tracing, he doesn't like what he sees.... says that she isn't having sustained accelerations with her movements like she should. He's concerned about the placenta, about whether my daughter is getting adequate oxygen and nutrients. He wants M to drink some juice, see if this makes the baby more responsive. But, M has appointments waiting and has to go back to work - so Dr. A says he'll want her to go to the hospital tonight after work, check in with Dr. S and see what she says - he says that he'll brief her about it beforehand. Of course, M agrees.

She finishes up work and finally talks to Dr. S just after 7pm, calling me once she's off the phone with the doc. Dr. S wants to repeat the NST tonight, see if some sugar in M's bloodstream will normalize the Doodle-bops heartrate - promises to call me when they're done with the testing. I had to go ahead and come into work, so I wait and I wait and I wait for M to call me. Finally at 9:30p, I am totally freaked out and call her cell phone. She's all done, just waiting for her discharge papers so she can leave. Apparently tonight's NST was no better than the one this afternoon - they're still concerned and we're going to have an ultrasound tomorrow morning to have a look around and measure her - see if she is sized appropriately for her gestational age.

Now, I do believe that the Doodle-bops is not in any imminent danger. I did some research on IUGR when I got into work tonight because I know so little about it, and it seems to be primarily a cause for close monitoring, though it can certainly become a reason for early induction. I am praying that neither is necessary, that my daughter was just exceptionally lazy today and that tomorrow she will be measuring at 34wks so we can put the fears to rest.

I can't spend much time thinking about this right now and I can NOT talk about it because each time I do, I start to cry, and I still have to work - still have clients/patients in the clinic now, at 1:30am. So tomorrow morning I will leave out of here and head back to Cary where I will hang out with M until the ultrasound; she didn't get a definite time tonight - the doctor said that she'd get a call in the morning, and since the notice might be short, I see no logic in going back to P'hurst and possibly missing the ultrasound. I just hope I'll have time to go home, take a shower and change before coming back to work tomorrow night. And a nap would be nice...


JourneyofHope said...

Oh my - what a day you have had. I am glad that you have an ultrasound this morning because that it way more accurate then the fundal length measurement. It must be so hard battling this news when you are walking exhausted to. U and the doodlebops are in my thoughts and prayers today. Update when you can.


SharingaDream said...

I am rooting for all to be well with the baby and that the u/s goes really well.

Please share an update when you get a chance.