Saturday, March 29, 2008

Our third beta...

...was not quite what I was hoping for. It was 1567, which means it didn't double in the last 48 hrs. My "favorite nurse", (yes, the formerly super-negative nelly nurse) told M not to worry much at this point, but that they would like to repeat the beta on Sunday just to make sure we're still on track. Well, M is going to be out of town on Sunday, so it will have to be Monday. She has really been a good, calming influence thus far for me. R would have been hysterical by now; by comparison, M is a rock!

The nurse did finally call ME - about 6pm - I asked her what they look for as a lower limit for doubling since I've read that "normal" is between 24 and 72 hours, with the "ideal and normal" being 48 hours... she mentioned something about an increase of 30%, and that only makes sense if she meant 30% per day - ours went up by about 75% in 2 days, which would be acceptable. She did say that often the betas kind of stall out during their usual phase of measurement and that they are generally back on track at the re-measurement - and since M's stalled out on the 3rd beta and not the 2nd, they'd like to do a 4th. If we're back to doubling every 48 hrs or so, then we will stop drawing betas. Of course, we will likely put a stop to that anyway, since there's nothing to be done about it if the betas aren't rising adequately... we won't stop meds until we get an u/s, so that would be the logical next step.

They want to do the u/s at 7+ weeks of GESTATION which will put M at 8w5d of pregnancy... again, it doesn't really matter. There's nothing to be done to change anything - it is what it is. M has been keeping me really calm though and I know this is going to be fine :) I am working on visualization - that really worked in the situation with the 1LT in El Salvador, and it will work with our baby. It's much easier to NOT worry when your surro is level headed!! LOL

This morning, B and I had an argument about the boys. He didn't realize that they were with us again this weekend and had made plans for today and again tomorrow because I have to work a 12 hr shift at AUC. He blew a gasket when I mentioned picking them up from school and said his "I'm just the fucking babysitter" again.... well, I've had ENOUGH of that shit!! I told him that I would NOT ask him again to pick them up. Then I emailed Dr. M in Sanford and told him that I can't come to work for him because I have lost my childcare for the 2 younger boys and need to be able to pick them up on Tuesdays and Thursdays. I guess I've really taken for granted that he's always here, and I need to NOT do that - it's not right and it's not fair. I also forget that while his ex-gf had 3 kids, she was a crack head and prone to drug binges so she didn't get much visitation with her kids and he probably didn't have to do all the things for them that he does for mine... I managed to refrain from asking him if he got pissed at her for disappearing on her crack binges and leaving him in charge of her kids for days at a time with no idea where she was or what she was doing. I'm sure that they DID fight about it and that's water under someone else's bridge.