Saturday, March 29, 2008

Our third beta...

...was not quite what I was hoping for. It was 1567, which means it didn't double in the last 48 hrs. My "favorite nurse", (yes, the formerly super-negative nelly nurse) told M not to worry much at this point, but that they would like to repeat the beta on Sunday just to make sure we're still on track. Well, M is going to be out of town on Sunday, so it will have to be Monday. She has really been a good, calming influence thus far for me. R would have been hysterical by now; by comparison, M is a rock!

The nurse did finally call ME - about 6pm - I asked her what they look for as a lower limit for doubling since I've read that "normal" is between 24 and 72 hours, with the "ideal and normal" being 48 hours... she mentioned something about an increase of 30%, and that only makes sense if she meant 30% per day - ours went up by about 75% in 2 days, which would be acceptable. She did say that often the betas kind of stall out during their usual phase of measurement and that they are generally back on track at the re-measurement - and since M's stalled out on the 3rd beta and not the 2nd, they'd like to do a 4th. If we're back to doubling every 48 hrs or so, then we will stop drawing betas. Of course, we will likely put a stop to that anyway, since there's nothing to be done about it if the betas aren't rising adequately... we won't stop meds until we get an u/s, so that would be the logical next step.

They want to do the u/s at 7+ weeks of GESTATION which will put M at 8w5d of pregnancy... again, it doesn't really matter. There's nothing to be done to change anything - it is what it is. M has been keeping me really calm though and I know this is going to be fine :) I am working on visualization - that really worked in the situation with the 1LT in El Salvador, and it will work with our baby. It's much easier to NOT worry when your surro is level headed!! LOL

This morning, B and I had an argument about the boys. He didn't realize that they were with us again this weekend and had made plans for today and again tomorrow because I have to work a 12 hr shift at AUC. He blew a gasket when I mentioned picking them up from school and said his "I'm just the fucking babysitter" again.... well, I've had ENOUGH of that shit!! I told him that I would NOT ask him again to pick them up. Then I emailed Dr. M in Sanford and told him that I can't come to work for him because I have lost my childcare for the 2 younger boys and need to be able to pick them up on Tuesdays and Thursdays. I guess I've really taken for granted that he's always here, and I need to NOT do that - it's not right and it's not fair. I also forget that while his ex-gf had 3 kids, she was a crack head and prone to drug binges so she didn't get much visitation with her kids and he probably didn't have to do all the things for them that he does for mine... I managed to refrain from asking him if he got pissed at her for disappearing on her crack binges and leaving him in charge of her kids for days at a time with no idea where she was or what she was doing. I'm sure that they DID fight about it and that's water under someone else's bridge.

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

I made it through another day!

Tomorrow is our next beta... I think I'm holding it together rather well - I'm not freaking out or anything!! At least not so anyone would know it!!

R is getting on my last damn nerve about the bills from her D&E though... I've finally decided that no contact is the best idea at this point. I've made it clear that I want the itemization - never at any time have I said that I don't think I should pay the bill or that I'm not going to pay the bill - in fact, I've said that I will pay it just as soon as I get the itemization. Why is this so difficult?? Why must she continue to try to make me feel like I'm in the wrong here?! Today she pointed out that she went through "so much" for us - and now she just wants this to be over! Yeah, well, so do I, but that does NOT mean that I will just blindly pay out the ass to make that happen! She actually told me today that a D&E is a more invasive and complicated procedure than an appendectomy. I'm sorry... did she just *forget* that I'm a doctor and not an idiot? Well, as I said, she's had the last word from me - if she gets me the itemization, I will pay it; if not... oh, well... she'll have to take me to court though I think she'll look pretty stupid in front of a judge when she has to explain that I didn't have the "right" to see the itemization of the bill that she wanted me to pay. I could be wrong, but I'll take that chance.

Nothing much else going on... I've again taken on too much in the way of work - for whatever reason I feel the need to "solve" everyone else's problems - but that will quiet down a bit after May, so I'll suck it up until then. By then, I should have an idea whether or not I like working in Sanford... if not, then I'll cut that out of my schedule altogether. I DO like AUC, even though the shifts are long, long, long, so I don't want to quit there - and I always LOVED CCAH - I really regretted leaving there, but now I've been given another chance, so I want to take advantage of that. I just can't work this much long term - but right now I need to build back up our reserves because, to be quite honest, right now we're hurting.

Monday, March 24, 2008

Apparently the lab techs did not understand that they were processing MY test today...

... because certainly they would have been more expedient if they had only known! LOL

M went in this a.m. to have the beta drawn. I called our coordinator at 11:00 but the results weren't back yet. She promised to call me as soon a they came in, but I'm NOT the most patient person (yeah, I know... big shocker, huh?). I called M at 3:30pm but she hadn't checked the voice mail system - she said that they told her "after 4" and like the good little girl she is, she was not obsessively calling for messages that weren't there yet. I told her to get on that because I was giving NCCRM until 4pm to call me then I was going to call back and go ballistic.

Strangely enough, as it neared 4pm, and I decided to give them 5 more minutes..... my phone rang. It was said coordonator. Our beta today was..... 488.... entirely too low to be multiples IMHO (but you never "know" 'til the u/s, right? I've heard that there is a theory that FETs are slower to produce hCG -- which kinda/sorta makes sense given that the embabies WERE immersed in liquid nitrogen -- so the values tend to be slightly lower than fresh transfers at the same stage... but you know how those theories go - half fact and half fiction usually). The only thing that really matters is what the level does between now and Wednesday - as long as it doubles, we're in the clear :) All of this waiting is going to drive me insane! I've been very calm and confident about this cycle, but now that we're dealing in absolute values -- I'm a bundle of nerves... again.

First u/s will be 4 weeks from today, according to what they told M this afternoon. She waited until just now (5:45pm) to call me - didn't know that the clinic had already called me with the beta; guess she just now called into her voice mail. Remind me to kick her in the ass later for that!! LOL

Saturday, March 22, 2008

Chinchillas aren't supposed to be breeding fiends!

This morning, this beautiful Saturday morning on Easter weekend, I was snuggled down into my pillows and determined to sleep in... but Little Man crashed through the door at 715am proclaiming that Twinkle had given birth and Middle Child needs me. So, I dragged out of bed, fearing the worst - after all I just discovered last night that the "rat" was pregnant again - so now I'm scared to death that I squeezed too hard and caused her to abort - but the little bugger is moving around and seems to be fine. He's a lovely silver color like his mama -

Figures that she had to go and give birth just after I bought brand new carpet for their cage - couldn't have had the baby on the nasty carpet that we were going to throw away!! Inconsiderate rat! LOL I think she purposely waited for me to get new carpeting!!

He must have just been born when they found him, because he was dark and wet and very unsteady on his little tiny feet. About half an hour later, as I'm making breakfast for everyone, Middle Child comes into the kitchen holding an aborted fetus - looks like it was about half baked - so Twinkle was apparently pregnant with twins, but one stopped developing. He buried it out in the backyard.

An hour or so later, breakfast eaten and cleaned up, Little Man comes into my room to tell me that Twinkle either had another baby or "just laid a really big turd". Such classy language my boys have!! I figured it was probably a placenta, but went to check it out - it was a third baby chin!! This one a little less developed than the twin was - I didn't know that chins were prone to triplets!! But, it was obvious from looking at it that it was a chinchilla and not a placenta or a "turd" as my lovely boys suspected. Guess Binki is uber fertile!

Right now we have Binki and Twinkle separated because Middle Child feels that Twinkle is more interested in playing with Binki than she is in caring for their son - so he wants to separate them until Monday. They're not fighting this time (or I guess I should say that Twink is not beating the crap out of Binki this time, since he never does seem to turn on her), but she runs off after him and leaves the baby unattended. We've already lined the bottom of the cage with cardboard to prevent escapes... don't need a repeat of the debacle with Houdini. Middle Child hasn't named this little one yet, but he has made it clear that we will be neutering him and keeping him forever and ever, and that any future babies that Twink and Binki have will be sold. He only wants 3 chins. Thank God!!

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

The proof is in the picture!

My internet peeps were all bugging me for a picture of the pregnancy test... I called M and told her that I needed a picture of the stick - she thought that was ridiculous. I reminded her that surrogates generally pee 4 or 5 times each day, starting just a few days after transfer, just to watch the lines get darker and appear faster. She found THAT silly, too. Finally, I just said, "Whatever... I just need a picture." So, this morning I got this -

The top pic is from Sunday and the bottom pic is from today. Yep, I think she's definitely pregnant! Well, that's 2 of the 3 tests that she bought... she said that she may do the other one this coming weekend, just to be prepared for our first beta on Monday. I'm feeling strangely calm and relaxed about the whole cycle, which is both comforting and strange to me! I've not been freaking out and haven't even really considered bugging her to get an early beta. I guess that's good, right?? I have to work the 8a-8p shift on Monday at AUC, so I won't really have time to be worrying about the number. I told M that I would keep my phone on me and she needs to call me just as soon as she gets the results. At 15dp5dt last cycle, the beta was 1965 with just one baby, so I'm hoping for at least 1000 (since it WAS an FET, and I hear that they take a little longer to start producing hCG) and it's also being drawn 24 hrs earlier than the one last cycle. Of course, I wouldn't be heartbroken if it were to be 2500 either, but don't tell B that!

Sunday, March 16, 2008

I couldn't wait any longer!!

I did call M this afternoon; I knew she was at mom's and couldn't talk, but I HAD to know if she'd caved... and she did (she IS my sister, after all, so we share a few genes!) She said it was faint but positive! YAY!! We're preggers again! I just KNOW this is it... I don't feel at all anxious, which is totally strange for me :) B just keeps saying not to "start no shit" about twins :)

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Today there was a hamster crisis at home which B dealt with reluctantly. I hated it that I couldn't be there for Little Man, or at least keep B from having to deal with it 'cause he doesn't care too much for rodents - but there wasn't much that I could do from El Salvador!!

Apparently Sheath had 2 babies a few days ago and then she and Link escaped from the cage. It was a couple of days before they realized there was a jail break, and it took them hours to find the little bastards.... of course, both of the babies were dead by that point, so Little Man was crying about it. When they put the adults back in the cage, they started fighting, so now 1 of them is in the little school bus transport cage. I told B to tell my son to keep them separated until I get home. Sheath needs a little post-partum time alone then we'll reintroduce them - I figure we'll have another litter within 6 weeks (or less). I just hate that it happened... especially with me so far away, but I'm glad that B dealt with it as well as he did!1 When he called to "update" me, his first words were "it's a good thing that I love you so much!"

Our transfer was today at 1400 hrs. I called M tonight and talked to her. They thawed the straw with 4 embryos - 3 survived... 2 were a grade 2+ and 1 was a grade 2 (1 is poor, 2 is acceptable, 3 is excellent, 4 is perfect/exceptional). They transferred all 3 of them. Apparently they were upset because they couldn't call me to confirm that they could transfer 3 instead of 2, but M handled it in her usual fashion - told them to "deal" because I'm in El Salvador and unavailable. So, as of today, we are pregnant until proven otherwise... twins all around for the WIMs!!


Edited to add this photo of our little ones... aren't they precious?? LOL