Wednesday, November 28, 2007

When it rains, it pours

So, was it not enough that we lost the baby and lost R as our surro?? Sunday night I got an email informing me that I'm on notice for deployment with a 90 day BOG group to ...... IRAQ!! Report to MOB station on 2 Jan, estimated REFRAD 14 April. Welcome to the sandbox! Oh, B was so angry! I hardly think that 6 days of active duty (you really can't count OBLC as active training) makes me ready to go into a combat zone. I've never fired an M-16 for God's sake, though I am qualififed as a "sharp shooter" on the M-9 so if you get that close to me... watch out!!

I was pretty bummed out, to say the least; lots of things have been dumped on my plate. Anyway, Monday was difficult for me at work. Dr. V sensed it and came in on her day off so that I could leave - she didn't even ask why I needed to go... I emailed the MAJ about this and his response was basically "WTF??" So, he talked to the COL on Tuesday morning and by Tuesday night he called to say I was off the deployment - I'm supposed to get some type of email confirmation of that, which still hasn't come, but I'll give it a few more days before I inquire again. I've been bugging him so much for things lately!! He did also mention a potential deployment to Hawaii, which I immediately applied for - the only problem is that part of the deployment involves food inspection and I haven't gone thru the C9 course yet. Damn it! That would have been SWEET!! Oh, well...

I started reading "The Secret" on Monday - it totally changed my attitude and my feelings - when I got home Tuesday, I got the call from the MAJ about not having to go to Iraq and about maybe going to Hawaii instead - so now I've started a visualization journal to carry with me everywhere! I am going to keep a positive attitude 24/7. Good things will come to those who think good thoughts!! I believe that whole-heartedly.

So, tonight I was just playing around on SMO and checked out the classifieds. I found 2 girls in NC - 1 in Charlotte and 1 in Edenton - looking for IPs, so I wrote to both of them. Depending on whether or not I get deployed, we may be looking to transfer again in a few months - B said that we can do "whatever you want to do" and I just feel that we have totcicles for a reason - we can still have this baby. I love R like a sister, but I really think that the 1st m/c affected her so profoundly that she worried non-stop about it happening again - and it DID. Now, in no way am I blaming her... what she felt/thought is completely natural and I was no better - but anything that you dwell on and put too much energy into WILL come to pass...