Saturday, June 30, 2007

Keeping the faith

I had to work all day today and it was difficult at times. My mind kept drifting back to the pregnancy, worrying about whether or not we'll see a precious heartbeat on Sunday (as IF the worrying will change the outcome) - it's akin to being jealous of B's ex... they had a relationship, at one time he loved her, it's over... why in the hell should it bother me NOW? Yet, at times, it does. Strange...

One of my co-workers cautioned me not to get too upset if we don't see a heartbeat on Sunday. She said that her first ultrasound (which was vaginal) was at 9w5d and they saw 2 sacs but no heartbeat. They didn't seem to be too upset about it - didn't run any blood work or anything. Just told her to come back in a couple of weeks. Why is it that doctors seem to assume that "natural" pregnancies will proceed unhindered and IVF pregnancies will end in miscarriage. I wonder if the stress of all the testing and monitoring that they do has anything to do with the increased rate of miscarriage. That's something to consider, huh?

B's niece called tonight with comforting words. Apparently B had called her to tell her about the current drama. She told me not to put too much stock in the numbers and just wait for the u/s. She thinks that they just do too much and it stresses everyone out. True that!

R sent me an email to tell me that she had not been having any twinges or cramping, no bleeding or unusual symptoms. Just like before, she says that she "still feels pregnant", which of course she is. Despite the hormonal supplementation, if she has miscarried, she should have some bleeding, discharge, clots, SOMETHING. So far... nothing. So far, so good. Today she says she had some "reassuring nausea". Who would have thought that nausea could be reassuring??

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